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Short script idea - "a world where woman dominate" challenge

I had an idea for a comedy short script.
A desperate screenwriter has to have sex with an ugly and fat female producer to have her buy his screenplay.

Code:
It was about Shay, "wanna-be-screenwriter" who can't sell a single screenplay, 
until one day gets an offer - have sex with the producer to have his screenplay bought. 
The producer, Dana, is an ugly and fat woman, who never had a man, so she sees an 
opportunity to get laid for the first time. Shay, of course, doesn't like it, but the 
repeating failures in pursuing his dream push him to do that. 

Shay arrives at Dana's house to finish it as quickly as possible, but finds out she wants 
it to be real - romantic date before sex, "like in old times". He plays the game until it 
comes the moment when they should have sex. Shay runs away without having sex. 

Realizing he will never sell a screenplay, Shay complains to Dana's boss about being 
sex-abused. The production company asks him not to involve police, fires Dana and 
offers him to read his screenplay, as a compensation for Dana's behavior. However, 
feeling guilt and pity for the desperate woman, he declines the offer and decides to 
have sex with her. Still having the upper hand over the production company, he 
demands that Dana will return to her duties. The company agrees. After the sex, Dana 
returns to her producer's duties and starts the production of Shay's script.

However, after telling this idea to some people, including my film school teacher, they all said it's too sexist and brutal, even if it's a comedy. I was offered to change the "fat ugly" woman into a hot "business-lady", and make Shay married. To make this story authentic, I was offered an interesting challenge - to set this story in a world, where woman dominate over men. 3 characters - Shay the writer, Dana the producer and Shay's wife. Being a pawn in both womens' hands, Shay may have sex with the producer to sell his screenplay, but lose his wife, OR remain with his wife but give up his career. Or, maybe, he'll find a 3rd option, the "edge of the coin".

I think what I was offered is brilliant. It might be a great film. It's also an interesting challenge to write. But do you think it can fit into a 8-10 short film. Or maybe I should go with my original idea? Do you think my original idea is too sexist? You know, I don't want to submit politically-incorrect materials to festivals... Discuss please :)
 
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it's rude to say she's ugly and fat and so she's never had a man.
You can do this idea without making it so offensive.

It would help if the man was really attractive or a celebrity look-alike. Something that would draw her to this man as being special and it would explain why she has to have him - not just any man at all.

Making it so she just wants any man at all.. this is where it gets sexist.
 
OK thanks.
Then do you think the woman should be... not very pretty? Or , on the contrary, should I make her a hot "business lady"? How would you see it working?

And what do you think about making the entire story happen in a world where woman dominate over men? I mean, woman are those who "hunt" for men, men are those who sit at home with children, men are more likely to be "rape victims" and on and on.... Something like the modern Amazonas. What do you think?
 
Yes, your original idea is sexist. It's also narratively flawed. I think you need to think again.

This is for a challenge called "a world where woman dominate", right? So your script about a man gaining huge success by having pity sex with a desperate and conniving woman probably won't do the trick.

How about you reverse things:

Code:
A young woman brings her screenplay to a production company.

Skeevy male producer tells her that he'll produce it, if she sleeps with him.

She almost goes through with it and then, at the last moment, realises it's wrong.

In the next month, she writes a new script about her experiences.

She sends it to the same production company.

Skeevy man panics and says he'll produce the other screenplay for her, so long as she destroys that one.

It looks like she's going to accept and then it's revealed that another production company is producing her new screenplay and the world is going to realise what a sleezeball he is.

I don't know, just spitballing, but if the challenge is to write a script about "a world where woman dominate" then you need to give the female characters the agency and make them realistic and human, rather than sexist caricatures.
 
Well personally I don't like narratives that involve any sort of rape. Too many audience members have experienced rape firsthand.

As far as women dominate.. it could be a cool twist but it can't be the whole story. So you have a world where women are the top athletes.. people make jokes about not watching the mnba where men play. Stuff like that. It could be interesting but it's not a story. There is no meat only seasoning.
 
Yes, your original idea is sexist. It's also narratively flawed. I think you need to think again.

This is for a challenge called "a world where woman dominate", right? So your script about a man gaining huge success by having pity sex with a desperate and conniving woman probably won't do the trick.

How about you reverse things:

Code:
A young woman brings her screenplay to a production company.

Skeevy male producer tells her that he'll produce it, if she sleeps with him.

She almost goes through with it and then, at the last moment, realises it's wrong.

In the next month, she writes a new script about her experiences.

She sends it to the same production company.

Skeevy man panics and says he'll produce the other screenplay for her, so long as she destroys that one.

It looks like she's going to accept and then it's revealed that another production company is producing her new screenplay and the world is going to realise what a sleezeball he is.

I don't know, just spitballing, but if the challenge is to write a script about "a world where woman dominate" then you need to give the female characters the agency and make them realistic and human, rather than sexist caricatures.

You mean to take your example where woman is a young screenwriter, and the producer is a man, and switch places where the producer is a woman and the man is the writer. This is about "a man succeeding in a world dominated by woman". Assuming it's something comic - I love the idea! Is it bad if I make grotesque characters if that is a comedy?

should probably also correct the spelling of women (plural)
Heh :blush: Can't fix that now

As far as women dominate.. it could be a cool twist but it can't be the whole story. So you have a world where women are the top athletes.. people make jokes about not watching the mnba where men play. Stuff like that. It could be interesting but it's not a story. There is no meat only seasoning.

What if I take some of this "seasoning" and add it as a background to the actual story? The actual story is about the writer who has to sleep with the producer, not about the "world of female domination".
 
Well then I think you have to make the woman a sexual predator. She has a male secretary in a revealing outfit and she slaps his ass as he walks out of the room. In front of the dude about to pitch his movie.

And instead of sleeping with her, he has to go down on her.

She has fun seeing how much she can make him do. It's about the power.
 
Well then I think you have to make the woman a sexual predator. She has a male secretary in a revealing outfit and she slaps his ass as he walks out of the room. In front of the dude about to pitch his movie.

And instead of sleeping with her, he has to go down on her.

She has fun seeing how much she can make him do. It's about the power.

Yes, this is the direction I've thought about, but won't it remind a reversed version of 50 shades of gray? :lol:
 
I think its awful, do you really think a script like this will enhance your filmmaking career? some things should be buried and never seen again or spoken about... this is one of them.

IMO

good luck if you make it though.
 
Who is the main character? The man? His struggle and identity don't sound very interesting as of yet. Also, you said it's a comedy. To me it's more offensive that woman-lead world is inherently supposed to be funny, just my opinion. My first thought was what if it was a gay guy who has no interest in women (and she doesn't have to be a fat/ugly chick as you say). We often see a straight man's repulsion with the idea of gay sex. It would be interesting to explore the other side of the coin if you're open to writing it.
 
I don't think that this idea is necessarily sexist, from what you have said. It's no worse than the idea in Horrible Bosses, where the a boss tries to blackmail her employee into cheating on his wife with her. If that idea can be made into a movie, and most people are not offended, I am surprised people told you that this idea was, but I am just going by what was written.
 
Who is the main character? The man? His struggle and identity don't sound very interesting as of yet. Also, you said it's a comedy. To me it's more offensive that woman-lead world is inherently supposed to be funny, just my opinion. My first thought was what if it was a gay guy who has no interest in women (and she doesn't have to be a fat/ugly chick as you say). We often see a straight man's repulsion with the idea of gay sex. It would be interesting to explore the other side of the coin if you're open to writing it.

To make him gay that has to have sex with a women? Well, then I don't really need to make a world where female dominate. Still, I'll try to implement it.

But a question, is having sex with a woman so horrible for a gay? Many gays are not against having sex with women. Bisexuals. He must be a really hardcore gay to be repulsed with the idea of having sex with with a woman.

IDK I didn't see horrible bosses or 50 shades

but if these are the films it sounds like then yeah it's a bad idea :P

I didn't see Horrible Bosses, but 50 shades of crap is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. :)
 
I decided to take the idea NickClapper has offered, that the protagonist writes a script about his experience, where he had to sleep with the producer, and the producer takes his first script if the writer destroys the second one. I just reverse it this way, that the producer is female, if the world is where women dominate.

So here it goes:
Code:
Avi, a handsome man but an unsuccessful writer, who can't sell his screenplays for years, 
finally gets an opportunity. He arrives to the producer's office. The producer, Meital, is a 
female sex predator, a powerful woman who crushes on Avi from the first time she sees 
him. When Avi arrives, he sees as she slaps her male secretary's ass and orders him to 
bring her a coffee. When Avi pitches his idea, Meital doesn't listen to him. She stares at 
him with a disturbing glance, which makes Avi feel uncomfortable. After he finishes, she
invites him to an expensive restaurant this evening.

When Avi arrives, Meital orders everything and pays for everything. She asks him 
questions about his writing career and even personal questions, like if he's married and 
etc. It makes Avi feel uncomfortable. Later she invites him to his house. There, she wants 
to get laid with him, but Avi refuses. Meital tells Avi he has got two sides of a coin: one is 
to sleep with him and she buys his screenplay, and second is that he refuses but never 
sells a single screenplay to the end of his days. At first Avi wants it, but then tells her he 
doesn't want to cheat and runs away.

Walking by the street, depressed, he sees kids playing coin flipping. One of them throws a 
coin and it sticks in a hole in the ground an stands on its edge, which is not heads and not 
tails. This gives him an idea, that he doesn't need to choose between what is offered to 
him, but can play by his own rules. 

A few month later he returns to Meital with a new script, which is about an unsuccessful 
writer who had to sleep with the producer to have his screenplay sold. Meital sees it a 
powerful story, but realizes that the sleeze person who uses her rank as an advantage over 
the weaker sex (male), is a portrait of Meital herself. She doesn't want to be known as such 
a person in public, because this story is so powerful, that any producer will be glad to take 
that. She wants to buy both screenplays: the first to produce, and the second to make sure 
it never gets produced by anybody. But Avi says he will destroy the second screenplay if she 
also gives him the opportunity to direct the movie. Meital agrees.

Later it is revealed, that Avi has already sold the second screenplay to another production 
company, and it gets produced. So Avi succeeds both as a writer and as a director, and makes
the world know what kind of person Meital is.

I had to bring the idea of the "edge of the coin" to trigger Avi and inspire him NOT to play by the world's rules. What do you think of that idea? Isn't it contrived a bit?

And what do you think about the synopsis itself?
 
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Have you seen the movie "Match Point"? The story turns on an item balancing on the edge, potentially going either way with clearly very different outcomes depending on which way it goes. My point here being - it's all in how you write it.
 
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