Stuck on a Screenplay

PhantomScreenwriter · May 13, 2015

I know that the reason I'm stuck on this part of my screenplay is because it's not working properly. The thing is that I'm not sure of any solutions and/or replacements as of yet. This takes places in the third act, so everything is going to come to a head.

Here's the situation:

The screenplay takes place in the 1800s. I have a male protagonist who knows a secret about the female villain that could really hurt her. The villain gave him this information because she trusts him due to his loyalty to her over a long period of time. However, the villain is unaware that he has other intentions as he has been working all this time for some people back home that are her enemies.

The villain wants him to return to his home town to deliver false information to keep her enemies (his employers) on the wrong track in their investigations. The villain has a superior that the protagonist doesn't know about, and he doesn't trust him, so he tells her to follow him to make sure that he doesn't tell their enemies the truth.

So, the protagonist returns to his employers to let them know about the secret that the villains have wanted to keep all this time. The reason he hasn't been in contact with them until now is because they didn't want to hear from him unless he had the information they require.

The female villain overhears him divulging the secret, and she initiates an attack.

And that is where I am up to. Any advice or potential solutions would be very welcome

mad_hatter · May 13, 2015

A few options for you:

a) That's the end of the story. The bad guys attack, a battle takes place, the good guys win. The end.
b) The antagonist doesn't initiate an attack. They somehow use this new found knowledge to manipulate the protagonist into an even more dangerous situation, for both him and her enemies.
c) There's a double-cross. Or a double-double-cross. The protagonist has earned the superior villains trust and it was actually the female antagonist that was being tested, causing conflict between the two bad guys. But, of course, they were both wrong, which leads to them forming a stronger bond, based on their hatred of the protagonist and his employers.

maz · May 13, 2015

I'm not sure what you're asking for here in terms of 'solutions'. Solutions to what? Do you just mean "what happens next?"? Did you have an idea of how your story is going to end before starting out on it?

PhantomScreenwriter · May 13, 2015

@mad_hatter - Thank you for presenting those options. Of the three the one that sticks out to me the most is option b), and since the female villain's superior isn't introduced to the audience until towards the end of the story, I think I might take him out of the story.

@maz - The protagonist dies, the female villain dies too, and most of the rest of her followers are destroyed. However, the female villain's superior is still alive and he vows to make sure that the secret becomes a myth for future generations to debate about.

So I'm looking for solutions as to what I can do instead of sticking with what I have, as I feel I've written myself into a corner. Also, to see what a fresh set of eyes might see that I'm not

maz · May 13, 2015

That seems a strange conclusion!

Asad J · May 13, 2015

I've only done 4 screenplays, so I might not be as experienced as some other people here, but I personally find that for me, its best to sit with a problematic point. If you're hitting a roadblock, just be with it for as long as it takes. Out of the blue, one day, squares will fit in circles and everything fall into place. It's painful and irritating, but it ends up resolving.

I just finished a screenplay where I sort of ended up at a point where I just couldn't see the story progressing anymore. It just wasn't coming full circle the way I had envisioned it. Stuck out the most mentally taxing 4 weeks with it, overthinking everything, till I stopped. Then one night it just happened, and I wrote a good 40 pages overnight. So this might be a little too artsy, but I'd say just be with the problem for a bit, and feel and internalize it. The muses will shine when the time is right.

PhantomScreenwriter · May 14, 2015

@maz - Bit of a down ending lol.

@Asad J - Thanks for your advice! I'm currently just at the scene outline stage. This is my first feature length screenplay so I wanted to make sure I had the structure down as best as I can before the first draft.

FantasySciFi · May 14, 2015

PhantomScreenwriter said:
I know that the reason I'm stuck on this part of my screenplay is because it's not working properly. The thing is that I'm not sure of any solutions and/or replacements as of yet. This takes places in the third act, so everything is going to come to a head. ... And that is where I am up to. Any advice or potential solutions would be very welcome

Work from your characters' perspectives. Be your characters. If it's a trainwreck in slow motion that the audience is watching, so be it. Certain events will lead to certain ends. Be sure your female villain and the protagonist are believable throughout. What you don't want is to pull a quick fix out of thin air (deus ex machina). Personally I don't like dismal, uncomfortable endings but some do. If you come at it from the honest perspective of your characters, it can be powerful.

Frank Darabont's adaptation of "The Mist" from Stephen King is masterful. It compels you to follow the lead through some difficult decisions. The ending is heartwrenching and visceral. The character development is what sells the film. Unfortunately the lack of satisfying emotional closure also means I personally would never watch it again.

PhantomScreenwriter · May 15, 2015

Thanks for your feedback FantasySciFi. A deus ex machina is definitely something I would like to avoid for sure.

The Mist is a film that I liked, as well as the ending. I can understand how that ending could prevent people from watching it again though. For this story I want to make sure that the outcome isn't done just for shock value.

PhantomScreenwriter · May 27, 2015

I have an update on my conundrum with my screenplay. I finally figured out a solution to the issue. My first goal, since this is my first feature screenplay (that I will have completed, I attempted one years ago but never went through with it), is to get the first draft written from my completed scene outline. I have made a deadline to get it done by the end of the year. If I complete it before then, that's great, but if it takes me until the deadline then that's fine too, the important thing is that I get a first draft completed before the end of the year.