"Thieves in the Night" Logline

directorik

IndieTalk's Resident Guru

indiePRO

• Sep 14, 2005

• #2

Damn!

I'm getting in line right after work. Where's it playing?

 

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NicklausLouis

• Sep 14, 2005

• #3

In my head.

Poke

 

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Lenny

• Sep 14, 2005

• #4

It does sound interesting... it immediately reminded me of "From Dusk Till Dawn." That's not necessarily bad... it's just what popped into my head.

 

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NicklausLouis

• Sep 14, 2005

• #5

That's something I always knew I would have to battle. The script is very different in it's approach and tone, but on the surface it does seem similar.

Poke

 

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Unknown Screenwriter

• Sep 14, 2005

• #6

2 cents...

Poke said:

Let me know what you think of this logline:

After a botched bank heist, a band of thieves hijack a van from two nuns and an orphan only to end up trapped in a cat and mouse game with a horde of soul sucking, flesh eating demons in an old country church.

Too long? Too detailed? Not long or detailed enough? Does it portray the High Concept well? Does it entice you to read it?

Poke

Click to expand...

A logline should rarely be over 60 words so you have a little leeway here. It makes me immediately wonder if you have a main character and if so, why aren't you telling us about him?

i.e., An under appreciated camera man botches a bank heist... etc. etc. etc.

Remember the 4 act structure? Not that I'm saying that it's the END ALL but take those 4 archetype modes and tell us IN A LOGLINE, the hero's journey through every one of those modes in 60 words or less...

ORPHAN
WANDERER
WARRIOR
MARTYR

The center is okay i.e., with a horde of soul sucking, flesh eating demons in an old country church. Now END IT!

i.e., and they must now figure out a way to... You finish it...

PM me if you want or need more details...

filmy

 

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texasvenom

• Sep 14, 2005

• #7

i think it sounds like poop

 

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texasvenom

• Sep 14, 2005

• #8

i kid i kid, sounds good, all i would need is some popcorn with alot of butter please

 

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NicklausLouis

• Sep 15, 2005

• #9

FilmJumper said:

A logline should rarely be over 60 words so you have a little leeway here. It makes me immediately wonder if you have a main character and if so, why aren't you telling us about him?

Click to expand...

Honestly, I was going for the single sentence TV Guide version of the logline, but a logline can also be a short (3 sentences or less) summary of the entire script. I sent you a PM with a longer version. One I am not ready to release to the public just yet.

texasvenom said:

alot of butter please

Click to expand...

Just make sure you don't spill it on the floor.

Poke

 

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Unknown Screenwriter

• Sep 15, 2005

• #10

Send me an email...

Poke said:

Honestly, I was going for the single sentence TV Guide version of the logline, but a logline can also be a short (3 sentences or less) summary of the entire script. I sent you a PM with a longer version. One I am not ready to release to the public just yet.



Just make sure you don't spill it on the floor.

Poke

Click to expand...

I just tried sending way too much info over in a PM and accidentally closed the window... Lost everything. I even went back to the PM and lost that too. LOL.

I did send you a PM telling me to email me. Send your logline too... Been up for two days so I gotta hit the rack for now but will answer you when I get up tomorrow (if you email me... LOL).

filmy

 

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texasvenom

• Sep 15, 2005

• #11

 

Last edited: Sep 15, 2005

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texasvenom

• Sep 15, 2005

• #12

Poke said:

Just make sure you don't spill it on the floor.

Poke

Click to expand...

no it usually spills onto my pants right near the crotch area and well its not very pretty [/QUOTE]

 

Last edited: Sep 15, 2005

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Unknown Screenwriter

• Sep 16, 2005

• #13

Not funny...

texasvenom said:

no it usually spills onto my pants right near the crotch area and well its not very pretty

Click to expand...

[/QUOTE]

Are you trying to help or just trying to increase your number of posts?

filmy

 

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T

texasvenom

• Sep 16, 2005

• #14

Are you trying to help or just trying to increase your number of posts?

filmy

Click to expand...

Click to expand...

whats your problem? i didnt realize joking wasnt aloud, because its so extremly intense deep conversation all the time. excuse me, poopy pants!

 

Last edited: Sep 16, 2005

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texasvenom

• Sep 16, 2005

• #15

thanks for giving me a reason to add more post, skippy.

 

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Will Vincent

• Sep 16, 2005

• #16

Isn't "high concept" typically defined as something that can be explained in a log line of hardly any words...

so rather than

"After a botched bank heist, a band of thieves hijack a van from two nuns and an orphan only to end up trapped in a cat and mouse game with a horde of soul sucking, flesh eating demons in an old country church."

it'd be like...

"A band of bumbling thieves fight to escape demons who have trapped them in an old country church"

(Which, by the way, reminds me somehow of 'Dusk til Dawn'... but, you know, with a twist. )

 

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NicklausLouis

• Sep 17, 2005

• #17

Please do not fight in my thread. It makes me feel dirty for some reason.

Will Vincent said:

Isn't "high concept" typically defined as something that can be explained in a log line of hardly any words...

Click to expand...

There's a difference between the logline you mentioned (quick and to the point) and a logline for query letters and Script Submission sites (i.e. Ink Tip and Script Shark). The logline I am trying to refine is the one I want to submit to producers.

Poke

 

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