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Does this logline sound interesting?

I've just had a sudden idea for a screenplay. I don't have any detailed synopsis yet, I'm just curious to know whether you guys think the logline is interesting enough to start working on it.

So here goes...

''When an introverted high schooler finds out that the school's most popular girl is about to kill one of the teachers, he starts stalking her to prevent the crime.''

Genre: thriller/drama (maybe some dark comedy, not sure though)
 
I've just had a sudden idea for a screenplay. I don't have any detailed synopsis yet, I'm just curious to know whether you guys think the logline is interesting enough to start working on it.

So here goes...

''When an introverted high schooler finds out that the school's most popular girl is about to kill one of the teachers, he starts stalking her to prevent the crime.''

Genre: thriller/drama (maybe some dark comedy, not sure though)
Two ideas:

In the end, the teacher is revealed to be planning something similar, but in the killing of a student(s).

OR

The male student, after stalking, realizes he wants to help her kill the teacher.

Both would play into the dark comedy theme. Don't write funny dialogue, write funny happenings in an otherwise violent scene. That's the best way to convey dark comedy.

For a great study on dark comedy, watch the movie Very Bad Things. The basic plot is a group of men cover up the accidental death of a stripper that was hired at a bachelor party.
 
Two ideas:

In the end, the teacher is revealed to be planning something similar, but in the killing of a student(s).

OR

The male student, after stalking, realizes he wants to help her kill the teacher.

Both would play into the dark comedy theme. Don't write funny dialogue, write funny happenings in an otherwise violent scene. That's the best way to convey dark comedy.

For a great study on dark comedy, watch the movie Very Bad Things. The basic plot is a group of men cover up the accidental death of a stripper that was hired at a bachelor party.

The dark comedy was just an idea but I'm not sure that's the theme I want to convey with the movie.

Thank you for the ideas but all of these seem really obvious to me. At least these are the kind of twists I personally would expect from a movie like this which means that someone like me would feel it's really cliché. I'll try to twist the story in a way that has never been done (or has seldom been done) before :)
 
The dark comedy was just an idea but I'm not sure that's the theme I want to convey with the movie.

Thank you for the ideas but all of these seem really obvious to me. At least these are the kind of twists I personally would expect from a movie like this which means that someone like me would feel it's really cliché. I'll try to twist the story in a way that has never been done (or has seldom been done) before :)

Touche!
 
Those are twists that can happen within the story. He doesn't have to spoil it in the logline.

That's actually something I'm having problems with. I have another logline in which I can't decide whether to give away a twist or not. It's not necessary, but without letting the audience know about it the story just doesn't sound as interesting.

It's not a Sixth Sense or Others scale plot twist, just something that makes the logline seem spoilery if mentioned, but hollow if left out.
 
Lucky for you it isn't interesting enough for me to steal ;)

Yeah, it was just a sudden idea, I probably wouldn't have shared it if it was a project in progress.

This is actually really informativr, some people think it's interesting, some people think it's not. Guess I'll have to get used to that diversity, right?
 
I agree with not following cliche twists.

The twist I hate worst is the one that will spoil the movie if told. Sixth Sense, The Crying Game. Sure they work, and part of the hype is the "Don't tell me, I have to see it" part... but in this day and age they are too easily spoiled.

Like "In the end, the kid doing the staking is the real killer, and he was looking to frame the girl" or whatever. A twist, yup. Spoiled easily, yup. I just don't like the "ruin the whole movie" twists.

So keep at it with your own!
 
It was meant as a potential life lesson response to say, you're lucky it wasn't the new Matrix idea. It'd get stolen in a heartbeat and there'd be nothing you can do about it.

Yeah I realized. I think there's always a chance that the person I tell about it, will steal it and write it as their own. But I have to get some feedback from actual people, whom I would expect to buy a ticket for it.
 
Last point I'll mention, filmmakers don't make for good audience substitutes.

Instead, find audience members in your intended market and ask them. As an added bonus, there's less chance a filmmaker will steal your idea.
 
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