Home

Go Back   IndieTalk - Indie Film Forum > IndieTalk > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-18-2018, 07:12 PM   #1
CamDoz
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 42
How I got inspired

Hey Guys,

I just wanted to make a post about inspiration. I have a lot of it, and recently it has been doubling every year. I am inspired to make ultra immersive, personal, visceral science fiction and fantasy films that border on the surreal and are steeped in lore. Lately the ideas won't stop coming, and it didn't used to be like that. I wanted to share a bit about how I get my inspiration. Note: I have not accomplished anything amazing yet in my career, just a few short films. I can only work on my cinema on nights and weekends, but I have been making progress lately, have been more confident because my ideas are starting to become very focused, and like I said: I'm bursting with inspiration.

I thought I was bursting with inspiration when I was 22...heck, i've had the rush of ideas since I was a kid, but all chaos. I am now 32, and I'm realizing that, while I was very inspired at that age, most of it was angst, undirected energy and impatience. I had a lot of unfocused ideas, many of them visual, which was cool. But I would get very anxious, VERY worked up, if I wasn't able to express them right away. I would even get very threatened or panicked if I saw a really good, new science fiction movie. I had a massive fear of missing out and an incredible feeling of helplessness. I made a short when I was 24, and was working on corporates a lot, and then commercials, and while I was learning a lot about the production craft, the chaotic ideas and helpless feelings would really get me down, and continued to until fairly recently.

Fast forward several years, and while I have struggled this whole time, I am starting to get a handle on reconciling my ideas/passion/inspiration with my daily life. For all of my adult life until about 4 years ago, I continued to pursue things that I thought were important to me when I was younger. I would work out often, pursue relationships, socialize often, accept gigs that were actually meaningless but "could," lead to something. But I would always end up unsatisfied, or feeling panicked and rushed.

At a certain point, I realized that I needed to dedicate myself fully to the creative feelings I was having. Some of my filmmaker buddies felt content continuing their personal life as they always have, and they could still contain the ideas and feelings they were having. I realized I could not, things had really changed. I started to live in the worlds that were pervading my thought. I started to spend more time alone, reading and thinking. I started to watch movies and shows that may have had only one redeeming thing about them, but they inspired me. I started to fully invest my recreational time into the only thing I want to do for pure enjoyment: playing ultra immersive, simulation PC games. Good lord did THAT take me to new worlds lol. And most of all, I have continued my deep exploration of experimental music.

All in all, I started to only engage in the things I wanted to, and unfortunately NEED to. Yeah, I gotta have the day job. Just is an unfortunate reality, and it absolutely slows down my art and the development of my ideas and projects. But right now I can't control that. HOWEVER, I CAN control my free time. I did away with all the guilt for not feeling inclined to maintain a romantic relationship with a girl (let's face it, a lot of the time we end up in a relationship we hate because we felt pressured) I did away with any pressure to impress people with my job or the things I wear. I did away with "killing time," at bars or someone's apartment, like so many of my friends are fond of doing. I started to concentrate on furthering my ideas, my inspiration, my knowledge of the cinematic art and the pursuit of my projects. And it's been a new life for me.

What I'm trying to tell you is that the mundane things in your life, the people that are stuck in a rut, the very natural attitude of people to want to comfort themselves with a notion of contentedness if they can at least survive for the long term....all of these things can REALLY limit your inspiration and imagination. Folks that don't feel the way you feel, will try and convince you to feel the way they feel, so things are easier and more content. My ex did that...if I tried to include her in my imaginings or my cinematic dreams, it scared the shit out of her. Was too daunting, too stressful. She wanted me to shut off and make my head a blank void at the end of the day so we could just relax and be comfortable....not because I was making my stress her own...the very act of letting my imagination run wild and discussing an idea would frustrate her. She didn't want to think about it.

In the same way, trying to bring my friends into my world of ultra immersive PC gaming, experimental electronic music, science fiction and fantasy content/products, and in general a world filled with stories and characters....trying to bring my friends into ANY aspect of those things or my creative outlook in general, has resulted in disappointment on my part, and confusion on their part.

If you really want to make your mark in cinema, or just accomplish certain things with your cinematic art, let yourself be as creatively free as you possibly can. Explore things you are interested in....it's not selfish, it is in pursuit of your dream. If people are stopping you from doing this, spend less time with them. If an aspect of your life is prohibiting this, make a big change somewhere. If your accountant friend has the same exact schedule every day, spends all his time busting his ass for his spouse or kids, gets his relaxation from watching the millionth new TV show that was released that week which someone else picked for him without him even being interested in it...if he's putting forth a lot of effort to appear a certain way for people, if he's just sort of going with the flow, rolling with the punches, blanking out his brain every night after work...AND he's suggesting that YOU should do the same, in any way shape or form, PLEASE realize he is saying that because his goals and pursuits do not require any sort of creative, innovative thought whatsoever, nor do they require him to dedicate extra personal time to achieve. AND, he will assume that this will be the best for you as well, because he will not know what it feels like to be inspired to create art or some other expressive thing.

I'm not saying this theoretical "accountant," friend is bad, or TRYING to bring you down. But because the art of cinema is so deep and complex, many of the mundane, outwardly prudent things people want you to spend your precious time on WILL bring you down, and jeopardize your film pursuits. Most folks, industries and societal trends JUST DON'T GET IT. Fuck...even many successful Youtubers get completely confused when they compare their videos to the craft of cinema, and state that you should just go make anything and put it on Youtube.

TL/DR:
Just do what you are inspired to do, within moral and financial boundaries obviously, regardless of how your family/friends can ostracize you (and they may). It is more important to find and focus your inspiration, and be PATIENT while you do so. Then, stay true to your inspiration, no matter what family member, friend, boss or dickhead producer does to try and stop you.

Here is a bit of music that really inspires me, enjoy:

CamDoz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Today   #1A
film guy
Basic Member
 
Posts: 17

 
Old 10-19-2018, 01:51 PM   #2
Benny Wollin
Premiere Member
 
Benny Wollin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
Quote:
it's not selfish, it is in pursuit of your dream.
From Merriam Webster: "selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others"

I can't see how this isn't selfish. Now, whether or not you think this kind of selfishness is morally acceptable is a different matter, which I don't feel the need to discuss here.

I think part of what you're saying is to not let others tell you how to live your life - and with that, I can only agree. That is different than selfishness. One is caring about people's opinions, the other is caring about people.

I will offer a slightly different perspective that I think should be mentioned. I was struck hard with the hunger to write music for motion picture less than a year ago. It's always been on my mind, but now it's in that place where I don't think I'll ever escape that desire.

However, I have a wife and three kids. I made a promise to her (and intend to keep my word) long before this passion to write film music came up. My wife and family are a higher priority to me than my career. For the time being, that means I'm not asking them to pack up and move to LA (which would be my course of action as a bachelor). Priorities mean sacrifices, else they're just lip service.

TLDR: Every priority is likely to conflict with another at some point. You have a choice, but it will be costly - one way or another.
__________________

Benny Wollin - Composer of Film, TV, and Game Music
www.bennywollin.com
Benny Wollin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 11:28 AM   #3
CamDoz
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benny Wollin View Post
From Merriam Webster: "selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others"

I can't see how this isn't selfish. Now, whether or not you think this kind of selfishness is morally acceptable is a different matter, which I don't feel the need to discuss here.
I believe denying the world of whatever art you are capable of creating, if you are inspired to create it, is selfish. Pursuing your art without letting people stop you is not selfish, that attitude goes against my philosophy as a filmmaker.

Last edited by CamDoz; 10-22-2018 at 11:29 AM. Reason: Rephrasing
CamDoz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 12:29 PM   #4
pedramyz
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Tehran - Iran
Posts: 175
David lynch explains his marital life in " room to dream" , below is a part of his interview with Ray Carroll,


As a father and husband he has often been absent, he concedes. “You gotta be selfish. And it’s a terrible thing. I never really wanted to get married, never really wanted to have children. One thing leads to another and there it is.”
pedramyz is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 12:42 PM   #5
CamDoz
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by pedramyz View Post
David lynch explains his marital life in " room to dream" , below is a part of his interview with Ray Carroll,


As a father and husband he has often been absent, he concedes. “You gotta be selfish. And it’s a terrible thing. I never really wanted to get married, never really wanted to have children. One thing leads to another and there it is.”
I believe he is referring to the fact that he had kids, and still had to focus on his art and be away from his family, which could be interpreted as selfish.

I myself have planned for not having kids or a spouse to be responsible for, and so I don't. I don't believe that choosing to not have children is a selfish act, especially with the earth's population doubling every 15 years or whatever it is.

And actually, in my initial post, I was referring to the act of dedicating time to your art and the creative process involved with that. I was referring to, like the first response said, living the way you want to. Ain't no one said to neglect ur damned fammy heh heh...maybe the initial response to this was coming from a personal thought or concern of family/ciinema?
CamDoz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2018, 12:53 PM   #6
pedramyz
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Tehran - Iran
Posts: 175
Quote:
I myself have planned for not having kids or a spouse to be responsible for, and so I don't. I don't believe that choosing to not have children is a selfish act.
I agree.
pedramyz is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
inspiration


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


©IndieTalk