• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

Why don't people understand my film?

sfoster

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
I'm getting a little frustrated at how many people don't understand the storyline of my film. People do not understand the characters motivations, they don't understand why it's all happening.

I've been told the second script is more complicated but easier to follow, so that's good that episode 2 won't have this problem. But even if I were to try and re-work episode 1 I still don't think everyone would understand it.

The only solution I can think of is to have a character straight up explain exactly why everything has happened at the end, but that seems so dumb.


When the car pulls over and the captive is threatened, the correct response from him would have been "You'll have to kill me, I'm not telling you anything" at which point he would have been promoted and sent to baltimore. Instead he succumbs to fear and gives up the location of the mob boss, sealing his fate to be murdered.

With the captive now revealed as a snitch, the enforcer will have to go to baltimore in his stead.

Nothing is decided at the start of the story. He is given every chance to prove his loyalty, all the way up until the last minute when he opens the door.
 
Last edited:
Sort by date Sort by votes
FantasySciFi said:
You've jumped straight into the action without introducing the characters. This is a case that I've discussed in terms of scriptwriting. Your clip shows how it appears when translated to the the screen. A bit of set up of characters in the beginning before launching into the action is all that's needed. Who are they? It doesn't require giving anything away. The audience has to be interested in what's happening with the actors and have a sense of who and what they're about. It doesn't need to be clear who is the protagonist immediately but you need some quick intro to develop the characters.

The quoted confusion arises from inadequate character development. It was assumed the big guy was already trusted. It was thought that the victim was an unknown. A little bit of intro sets up for the action in the car and mansion. Then there's no confusion why it's going down. And it can be done without immediate reveal. In the scenario suggested below, the big guy doesn't even know he's on the payroll yet while the victim is shown to be on the payroll but not up to the task.

What if you had a short segment where you had the victim talking to the boss on the phone just before he's 'kidnapped'. The boss could be saying something about "I have a job"
Click to expand...

This is some of the best advice I've gotten here on the board. Makes a lot of sense to me, thank you. Phone call between the boss and that dude in the beginning would do the trick.

Show them being friendly, the guy is even getting promoted. Then one second later their relationship is totally changed, because he betrayed him.

This explains why I don't have the problem in my second script. There I am using a phone call as narration to set up the situation :lol:

I just might go back and refilm that part for #1
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Inarius said:
But that's what many successful TV-series do. You start understanding the characters at 10-15 minute, not earlier.
Click to expand...
TV scripts are highly structured and require a great deal of discipline. If you master TV writing, feature writing is a breeze. But most series start with a pilot that introduces the main characters in more detail. The TV episode (like a webseries) has the basic structure: Teaser, Setup, Action, Complication, Resolution, Hook/Cliffhanger. Minor action happens every five pages, major action every ten. After every five pages, there's usually a commercial break. You need something to bring them back. TV writers don't assume the audience will sit patiently watching. That's why writing instructors like Snyder and McKee emphasize beats and story (both having strong TV writing backgrounds). Writing and shooting webisodes is a great way to develop the discipline for writing features.

To your point, successful TV series lead with a teaser 3-5 pages, not always with the main characters. In the next section though, the regulars are brought in. Often there are small visual cues or lines that set the tone for the characters so someone new to the series gets a sense of who they are. Again, TV writers must do this quickly and subtly. And in many cases, stereotypes are used. Using stereotypes to give a quick sense is fine as long as the writer then gives them depth through added backstory. In a sense, we see the characters evolve over the seasons without taking lots of time from the episode. Typically by page 7, you need to introduce your main cast. This idea, however, has been turned around to good effect.

Classic example: Columbo. Link and Levinson turned the detective genre upside down by showing the crime first with perpetrator, then showing how it was unravelled. We start with the crime. It gives the illusion that we're following the criminal, not the detective. We see character development of the supporting role rather than the lead. Then we meet Columbo who is usually bumbling. Then we start into the cat & mouse. There is the final aha!. There is a twist resolution of a sub-plot with Columbo (his wife, dog, etc.). What helps is that the title credits build anticipation of the Columbo's arrival. The hook here is that Columbo is such an appealing character you want to see how he solves the next case. In the case of Columbo, the meat is the "cat and mouse" not the crime.

You cannot jump into action (meat of your story) without introducing the characters. If you do, you risk losing your viewers. TV viewers are an unforgiving group that flip channels in a heartbeat. There is a reason that the career path of many successful feature writers and directors start with television--JJ Abrams, Joss Whedon, Joe Straczynski, Spielberg, etc. In an 1982 interview, Sidney Sheldon a successful novelist, screenwriter and TV producer gave succinct advice: "I try to write my books so the reader can't put them down. I try to construct them so when the reader gets to the end of a chapter, he or she has to read just one more chapter. It's the technique of the old Saturday afternoon serial: leave the guy hanging on the edge of the cliff at the end of the chapter." Create a teaser, intro your characters and leave your protagonist(s) squirm every 5-7 pages. It's a style emulated by most successful TV programs.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Where the boss says that the door is open - can be replaced with a CLICK.
Titles, where we wait for the car to get through the curve. And the same, as we wait for them to get up to the house.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
No need for titles.

I'm getting the impression that the issues isn't so much that people
dosn't understand your film – it's that this first episode doesn't explain
everything about character motivation in three minutes.

If you thought it did I can see why you're concerned.

If you look at this as the “teaser” to the series then everything that
happens is clear. All the “why” will come as you tell your story. Right?
Not every three minutes needs to fully explain everything.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
directorik said:
No need for titles.

I'm getting the impression that the issues isn't so much that people
dosn't understand your film – it's that this first episode doesn't explain
everything about character motivation in three minutes.

If you thought it did I can see why you're concerned.

If you look at this as the “teaser” to the series then everything that
happens is clear. All the “why” will come as you tell your story. Right?
Not every three minutes needs to fully explain everything.
Click to expand...

I did think it was all explained, which is okay to make some mistakes since it's only my second film. But it's not okay to make mistakes if you don't learn from them!

Very happy now that I understand where I went wrong, I see how much better the first episode could have been. But I also see how to approach episode 2 now. I can explain episode 1 and deliver the setup to episode 2 in one flashback. It'll be much better than some type of phone call / pseudo-narration setup.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
sfoster said:
You think I should include titles in the middle of the story as they walk up to the house?
Click to expand...

You tell me, it's your film. And I'm not the producer, so I'm just offering solutions to problems that I think might help you get saved by the bell. In this particular case you say that you don't want to leave it looking like a home movie and that you have a chance to get professional actors to join.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
I think it's fine. I understood what was going on. Any issues you feel that were raised by those who didn't understand, and that you yourself agree with, you could incorporate resolutions to those issues in the next episode, and so on and so forth.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
mussonman said:
I understood it.

But on to a more important statement, this was a really good short film :)
Click to expand...

Thanks man, I appreciate it
Working hard on my writing and I'm really excited with where this story is going.

I'm excited for episode 2 - better writing, longer story, more action, real actors!
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top