• READ BEFORE POSTING!
    • If posting a video, please post HERE, unless it is a video as part of an advertisement and then post it in this section.
    • If replying to threads please remember this is the Promotion area and the person posting may not be open to feedback.

watch Please Honest and Brutal opinion

Hey guys, and girls
So let me tell you some background about this short. 2 years ago i had a script, a really solid script for a short, but had no previous experience and no crew plus Real Actors didn't want to work with me. So I had this 3am Idea to shoot a (very short) short film, with me and a mate. I wrote a 4 page script revolving around 2 characters and at 6am we drove off to find this location. by 3pm we were finished. Now i did all of the editing and the rest of the stuff myself. So in that sense i know how bad (Amateur) it is. But was hoping for people to give me an honest opinion on the actual story and flow off the film
As right now i have made another short film, in which i think the story is great and so did every one else who worked on the current project, but in all honesty I am worried. The current project that I did, i again Directed myself, but am afraid of failing. I know that it is much better in terms of quality, but still as every one around me tells me that i am my own worst critique, i still feel a sense fear.

Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZuXrYiTfok
Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcD6SESU--8
So you probably wondering why am I asking to watch the first short film? Because that short film, in my mind feels like it has/had potential. It was SPOILERS!!!!! about how what if religion was a way that superior being (Aliens) controlled the evolutionary and technological progress of the man kind. Something Like Prometheus meets Star gate. and that a war of superior beings had come close to our galaxy, and that if we continued to advance our technological progress then we were becoming a target for other to attack. Think of how Thor in Avengers tell Nick Fury about how the phase 2 weapon program is what causes Loki and his allies to come to Earth and that it is a signal for every one else that Earth is ready for a new level of war.
 
Last edited:
afraid of failing

Don't be afraid. Be afraid to get to the point where you think you're too good to learn from your mistakes.

honest opinion on the actual story and flow off the film

Flow: Too slow. Too long for the story you're trying to tell. Story: It's very on the nose which makes it very unrealistic. It comes across as a stage play or someone reading a book as opposed to a film. There's a saying, show, don't tell. Don't worry too much, it took me a few films to understand that error. I wish someone had drummed it into me earlier.
 
You have a lot of different moving parts going on here.

The two year old videos linked are poorly shot, composed, and edited with spotty audio.
Learn and practice some basic camera shots for a conversation and practice them.
No more 1970s zooming.
No more 'Star Wars' wipes.
No more expecting a general audience to find two guys having a lengthy esoteric gab in the wild as engaging as perhaps very few do.
I'm guessing you're early twenties by now - what do your friends & peers watch on youtube? Ten minute long esoteric convos in the weeds? Proly not.

Next: story.
I deeply support your pursuing crafting a story of "what if religion was a way that superior being (Aliens) controlled the evolutionary and technological progress of the mankind?"
It's a great, albeit non-novel, subject.
I believe you can't hold an audience hostage while such a complex exposition takes place between sage & ingenue.

The idea = great, viable, wonderful.
The execution = needs to be shortened or broken up + interesting & engaging.

Last: the flow.
The flow was insufferable.
I clicked the link, saw 7minutes of self-proclaimed amateur/first time/thrown together "short" and sighed.
Then the dialog started droning about a scifi staple I'm familiar with between a crazy guy and a nube who doesn't see him as crazy and actually wants to listen and believe and play twenty-stupid-questions with the crazy guy.
So I start clicking forward at twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'. Look! Dude's back's to the camera.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'. Look! Another crazy wipe.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.

Done.

Okay.
Look! There's a second video of this.
Oh, sweet Jeezus.

Fire it up - more blabbin.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.

I thought running nube shoulda called 911 for an ambulance immediately, and maybe started walking the guy back to the main road.
Listening to aliens inhabiting our messy bodies (sigh) ain't my cup of tea when I'm out on a run. I got work to do after my run. Juno?

Flow?
Flow's a little slow.
I missed most of the story's details.

Your test video from a month ago looks a lot better, BTW.
 
Got to 1.30 on the first one before giving up. Framing, colouring and zooming were terrible. Hated the intro as have a bugbear about taking professional footage and using it in a short film.
 
So I start clicking forward at twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'. Look! Dude's back's to the camera.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'. Look! Another crazy wipe.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.

Done.

Okay.
Look! There's a second video of this.
Oh, sweet Jeezus.

Fire it up - more blabbin.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.

:lol:
 
You have a lot of different moving parts going on here.

The two year old videos linked are poorly shot, composed, and edited with spotty audio.
Learn and practice some basic camera shots for a conversation and practice them.
No more 1970s zooming.
No more 'Star Wars' wipes.
No more expecting a general audience to find two guys having a lengthy esoteric gab in the wild as engaging as perhaps very few do.
I'm guessing you're early twenties by now - what do your friends & peers watch on youtube? Ten minute long esoteric convos in the weeds? Proly not.

Next: story.
I deeply support your pursuing crafting a story of "what if religion was a way that superior being (Aliens) controlled the evolutionary and technological progress of the mankind?"
It's a great, albeit non-novel, subject.
I believe you can't hold an audience hostage while such a complex exposition takes place between sage & ingenue.

The idea = great, viable, wonderful.
The execution = needs to be shortened or broken up + interesting & engaging.

Last: the flow.
The flow was insufferable.
I clicked the link, saw 7minutes of self-proclaimed amateur/first time/thrown together "short" and sighed.
Then the dialog started droning about a scifi staple I'm familiar with between a crazy guy and a nube who doesn't see him as crazy and actually wants to listen and believe and play twenty-stupid-questions with the crazy guy.
So I start clicking forward at twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'. Look! Dude's back's to the camera.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'. Look! Another crazy wipe.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.

Done.

Okay.
Look! There's a second video of this.
Oh, sweet Jeezus.

Fire it up - more blabbin.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.
Click forward another twenty second intervals - nope, still blabbin'.

I thought running nube shoulda called 911 for an ambulance immediately, and maybe started walking the guy back to the main road.
Listening to aliens inhabiting our messy bodies (sigh) ain't my cup of tea when I'm out on a run. I got work to do after my run. Juno?

Flow?
Flow's a little slow.
I missed most of the story's details.

Your test video from a month ago looks a lot better, BTW.


I couldn't help but laugh the whole time I was reading this. But I do understand what you are saying, and thank you a lot on the compliment on the test video.
 
Don't be afraid. Be afraid to get to the point where you think you're too good to learn from your mistakes.



Flow: Too slow. Too long for the story you're trying to tell. Story: It's very on the nose which makes it very unrealistic. It comes across as a stage play or someone reading a book as opposed to a film. There's a saying, show, don't tell. Don't worry too much, it took me a few films to understand that error. I wish someone had drummed it into me earlier.

Thanks man, I'm currently about to finish the production on the new short film. But I hope I'm not the only who gets nervous and afraid of their own work.
 
You learn after a while, you just have to release it. There will be those who love it and those who hate it and everyone in between.
 
Back
Top