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watch My Latest Short: Komorebi (sunlight filtered through tree leaves)

I liked the camera work in your piece. I love the variations in depth of field and angles. You did a good job of capturing and framing your subjects.

As for the "story" of your piece, I'm not entirely sure what it is about. I couldn't find the connection between the title of your piece and the contents showed in the video. I guess it's a piece where it's open to personal interpretation but if you had a set idea, I wasn't smart enough to figure it out =P

Overall, it's a decent video. Keep up the good work.
 
Thanks for watching shadowdragon, and thanks for your compliments and criticism.

I admit it's a little ambiguous, but when I was coming up with it I had literal intentions. So maybe I failed in delivering a coherent story, but I will maintain that all the information is there to tell a story.

But again, thanks for taking the time to give me some feed back. I really appreciate it.
 
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I watched it but I don't see many experimental films, so I'm not used to critiquing or understanding them.

It seemed like your contrast was a bit low. That's the only real feedback I can give haha.

It was interesting. The rocket seemed a little out of place.
 
Thanks sfoster for giving it a chance. I'd hate to start getting into my motivations for certain scenes because I don't want to ruin someone else's chance at interpreting it.

Thanks for watching and for the feedback.
 
I wouldn't mind if you sent me a PM explaining some of it.

There is also a spoiler tag… You can put stuff in here so people don't see it unless they want to.

Did that dude cut his penis off?

FWIW I think you did a good job. Sadly I've only got one short 3 minute video online :/
But I'm working on it! A lot of time and effort was spent on writing and now I'm filming again.. once a week. so it'll take like 4-5 months.
 
Cool short. That opening crane shot looked really professional. I hope you get around to adding to it. I know it's a bitch when you have a job and only weekends to devote the time to your movie.

Yes I cut my penis off. lol As ordered by the sun. My character basically finds himself giving up his vices for the sunbeam in his hand. After he loses it, he attempts to get it back. After taking the vitamin D and drinking the orange juice, he throws it up. The guilt of losing it makes him susceptible to its orders which includes cutting off his dick and nearly blinding himself. After the demands are met he's sent on a journey. The rocket is there for what he sees as the fireball leaving for the sun. But really it's the final implimination of the suns plan to take his life in some sort of bizarre self emulation marriage. The character is also insane, so what you're seeing may be his own doing and the fireball may not exist. Perhaps the movie is about losing your mind in the process of trying to become righteous in a way.

Perhaps I failed in delivering that as clearly as I wanted to but that's what I was going for. I'll also add that I think people are so used to having narratives driven by dialog that silent films aren't as accessible. I'll try to catch up with the times.

Keep up the good work on your project though. I'm onto my next one aswell. Hopefully it won't take too long.
 
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Since he's drinking while he's burning the pornography, he is still engaging in vices so the message of him giving them up is a bit unclear. I'm sure some of the fault lies in the viewer as well, like you said we aren't used to watching silent films. When I first watched I didn't get a clear motivation behind why he was burning it.
 
Yeah I thought about that too. Good criticism. I suppose the eyes and falling into mud may have indicated that the character is struggling with something but you're right. I should have had a scene of excessive drinking and masturbation. Lol
 
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If he had really strong alcohol he could have used that to help burn the fire instead of lighter fluid. Some ever clear or something.

That might make it clearer that he was giving up vices.
 
That was pretty cool, some interesting shots. I don't really get it though, but as sfoster said, most viewers aren't used to watching silent experimental films like this and I'm one of said viewers
 
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