COLUMBIA TV Sci-Fi Drama Series logline

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

All right, sci-fi lovers, would you curl up with a Romulan ale for 60 Earth minutes with this one...

COLUMBIA (TV Sci-Fi Drama Series) A psychiatrist must confront the possibility a young woman tormented by schizophrenia is suffering from the psychological effects of faster-than-light travel.

Sweetie · Apr 25, 2015

I love sci-fi, maybe it's just me, but no, I wouldn't.

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

I'll take that as a compliment.

Sweetie · Apr 25, 2015

I'd take that as an answer to your question perhaps?

time2focus · Apr 25, 2015

The logline sounds more like a movie than a series right now. Once the psychiatrist discovers what the root of the problem is, it sounds like the end (the a sense of closure you get in a movie). This may be a good logline for the pilot episode even, but for the series we want to know what the world is of the story.

Honestly, I can't answer your question because whether or not I would like it depends on the tone and world of the show which I don't see here. Go on IMDB and look at your favorite shows. Compare the short one-line synopsis of the show vs those for the individual episodes and I think you'll see the difference of the scope. I realize you may have the world clearly defined in your mind; it just hasn't been conveyed here.

Have you written a serial piece before or is this your first? Just curious.

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

Excellent, good to know, Time2focus. We are shooting a 3-4 minute sizzle reel at this time - I just finalized the storyboards this week with the production co shooting it - and a link will go with the longline for people to get the "feel" of the series Universe. Including some key props and costumes.

Yes, I am a wanna-be first-time creator-showrunner. I have a lot of a 22 episode Season 1 written and actually have the series finale written, which could be inserted at any time they pull the plug to leave the series a cohesive story.

On the plus-side, our leading lady is drop dead gorgeous, we're going to be leaning heavily on her for the fan boy vote.

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

I guess the question should be, 'Does the logline make you want to click on a link to see the pitch video?'

Filman · Apr 25, 2015

Does the logline mean that a psychiatrist treats a woman who is schizophrenic because of faster than light traveling?

time2focus · Apr 25, 2015

Kingda Ka said:
I guess the question should be, 'Does the logline make you want to click on a link to see the pitch video?'

As it is now, no for me but I think that could be changed in reworking the logline.

FantasySciFi · Apr 25, 2015

Kingda Ka said:
All right, sci-fi lovers, would you curl up with a Romulan ale for 60 Earth minutes with this one...

COLUMBIA (TV Sci-Fi Drama Series) A psychiatrist must confront the possibility a young woman tormented by schizophrenia is suffering from the psychological effects of faster-than-light travel.

Kingda Ka said:
I guess the question should be, 'Does the logline make you want to click on a link to see the pitch video?'

Not really to both.

Unfortunately as T2F and Sweetie point out, the logline doesn't really define a series but reads very finite. Does it require the psychiatrist and the woman to travel through time or by FTL is it simply she's returned from travel? What's the source of tension? Okay, she has schizophrenia, so what? The reference to FTL says nothing to me as a sci-fi fan. It's rather blah. This feels more like a short, maybe a feature.

A logline more like "In this sci fi thriller series, a psychiatrist treating a young woman for schizophrenia uncovers the dark science program of a shadow agency which puts them both in the crosshairs as they race against time to piece together the actual target."

Obviously, this would need to be customized to your particular story, but the point is it gives me, the viewer, something to say, "Ah, I can see how this could be a series." It could be a feature or series like "12 Monkeys" or "Fringe". While having a sexy star helps, it hasn't saved other programs. Be sure you have solid scripts. While the logline doesn't grab me, that doesn't mean I don't think you have a great project. I look forward to seeing the teaser.

Best wishes as you move forward!

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

Excellent feedback. I greatly value the opinion of somebody with a name like FantasySciFi!

There are two types of loglines, the TV Guide one for channel surfers and the "in-house" one used among industry insiders to tell the story apart from others in the genre. This logline is intended for Top 25 network, cable and VOD drama decision-makers who see 5,000 loglines a year. They will be expecting more than name, rank and serial number and the pitch will come through an agent or manager they know has already vetted the material.

I can see the value of a different TV Guide logline when we're ready to start trying to attract eyeballs. Something like...

A psychiatrist discovers beings from another galaxy are attempting to communicate through his mental patients.

maz · Apr 25, 2015

It sounds intriguing to me (and the second logline you posted is actually much more intriguing).

Kingda Ka said:
I guess the question should be, 'Does the logline make you want to click on a link to see the pitch video?'

No, but a picture of the leading lady might

FantasySciFi · Apr 25, 2015

Kingda Ka said:
A psychiatrist discovers beings from another galaxy are attempting to communicate through his mental patients.

This reads much better. This is what will catch a viewer's eye. It tells me who and what.

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

maz said:
It sounds intriguing to me (and the second logline you posted is actually much more intriguing).

No, but a picture of the leading lady might

Tragically, it's a thinking piece and she spends a lot of time clothed.

Alcove Audio · Apr 25, 2015

Just middle think....

Make the shrink a woman.

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

I like your thinking, Audio.

Can't do it, though. He starts the series getting busted for molesting patients, and the "aliens" help him rediscover Neverland. Kinda a reverse 'Breaking Bad.'

Sweetie · Apr 25, 2015

'Does the logline make you want to click on a link to see the pitch video?'

Still no.

Jijenji · Apr 25, 2015

Kingda Ka said:
All right, sci-fi lovers, would you curl up with a Romulan ale for 60 Earth minutes with this one...

COLUMBIA (TV Sci-Fi Drama Series) A psychiatrist must confront the possibility a young woman tormented by schizophrenia is suffering from the psychological effects of faster-than-light travel.

OP, here is an invaluable resource for writing loglines:
http://www.twoadverbs.com/logline.pdf

In my opinion, your logline needs improvement from a writing standpoint, independent of what the story is about.

For one, it's not written sharply enough or concisely enough. The logline could also use more punch.

Can you think of an adjective to describe the psychiatrist?
Is he or she a world-famous psychiatrist? An alcoholic psychiatrist? A sexually frustrated psychiatrist?
Don't use meaningless adjectives, but pick something descriptive enough to give an insight into your character and the story.

Finally, what is the conflict? Is the psychiatrist skeptical of the patient's claims? I'm not sure you presented a strong enough conflict to make a great story.

My advice would be to try looking at this idea from another point of view:

COLUMBIA
After experiencing faster-than-light travel for the first time, a suddenly schizophrenic astronaut struggles to conceal her hallucinations from the rest of the crew, some of whom begin to fear for their own safety.

That may not be the route you want to go with this story, but hopefully that serves as a halfway decent example of what a logline should be.
In as few words as possible, you want to present characters and conflict, and make it sound compelling.

Kingda Ka · Apr 25, 2015

Wow. There's really people who write whole articles about loglines?

Jijenji · Apr 25, 2015

Kingda Ka said:
Wow. There's really people who write whole articles about loglines?

Yes, and that's a great resource. Some screenwriting books also have sections dedicated to writing loglines.