My first short film! Please critique!

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Whilst somewhat visually interesting, I have no love for your shot as it didn't please me as an audience, but I highly doubt that I'm the kind of audience that you were aiming for.

Also, I'd try not getting into the habit of using music that you don't have legal permission to use.
 
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I like the look of the project and the idea behind it. I absolutely loved the Sinatra song(i had never heard it before) and it added a lot to the film but at the same time it takes away from it since it will probably not make it to final production due to legal rights.

I think you need to make a better connection to the relationship between the killer and the guy. Give us something that cements their history somehow.

I didnt like the audio cut halfway through; the first thing I thought of was that my headphones were acting up and it was really loud too. That was extremely annoying. Other than that, great work.
 
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drc said:
Hey,

So this is the first draft of my first short film. I still need to do a lot of editing (color, cropping, zoom, transitions) but this draft should give you a good idea of story/style/mood.


Please give me your brutally honest advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3_NpTZQlVE
Click to expand...

This was pretty good. The photography was very creative and very interesting.

It's clear what you were trying to accomplished and you accomplished it well.

One observation, though: I can't help wondering it it would have been a tad stronger had you removed the lyrics from the sound track.

That's all.
 
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