watch I met myself

Hello guys I made my first amateur Kafkaesque-short movie and I would be really glad for every tip, hint, help or critique. I mean as for everyone as for me I believe this is the most important thing so if there're people who would like to help me please tell me what do you think about my first Thanks in advance I really appreciate every response.

Logline : A short surreal Kafkaesque. About a guy who has come back home on an ordinary day doing his routine. After he goes to take a nap, he wakes up with feeling that someone is in his house.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6re-LcVggk

Tip #1 work on your loglines.

SkyCopeland said:

Tip #1 work on your loglines.

Click to expand...

Ditto this. Some personal opinions:
Lighting! Not so much for the dark scenes, but I felt the light scenes (1:45 - 1:56; 2:48 - 3:09) had too much light to them which didn't work well (for me at least). It really felt too contrasted and over-exposed. Also the pacing in the light scenes was a little... I don't want to say quick, more too fluid and didn't sit well with the tempo of the soundtrack. It contrasted too much with the darker scenes, especially with the wider view. I would have liked it more if that claustrophobic element was retained. Also the actor (you? I'm not sure) was quite obviously aware of the camera during his performance in the light scenes. The movement came across as a little forced and amateurish, and not relaxed (performance-wise, not character-wise).

Positives: Claustrophobic effect of the dark scenes. I loved this, I think it worked very well with the camera focus, and the movement was much more in keeping with the feel of the music. The camera movement from the first-person perspective worked great with this too. I particularly like the rejection of centring the image or the 2/3 rule to capture the bedroom scenes. Lastly, the music. I liked the feel of the film with music maintaining tempo and suspense throughout, rather than the sudden changes many short horrors use with "shock" footage.

All in all, nice job, apart from the negative feedback I mentioned.

Boy im thirsty now....lol....I liked the idea.....interesting concept. I wish it had come to a more blatant ending though. You could tell there where two of the same people in the house but I didnt know for sure. also at the end I personally felt as if something Drastic should have happened. But nice use of black & white and darkness. Nice use of the slowmo and flashback I really liked that you reminded the viewer about the glass.

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