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watch My 2nd short film- "Assassin"- BMPC4k

The is the second official short film I have made. I made it for one of my EFP projects at school but decided to take it a bit further afterwards and improve it. Let me know what you think, I would love some honest feedback!

It was shot with the Blackmagic Production Camera, and mostly using a Canon 17-55 f2.8 lens. Some shots used a 30mm f1.4 Sigma lens.

Here is the summary: Assassin Alex Jones is confident his messy line of work can always remain clean. As long as you're organized, you'll never miss a target.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEu7bOXnFV8

Thank you!
 
That's a very good student short, well done!

Let me know what you think, I would love some honest feedback!

OK then: It's a real shame! You've obviously put a lot of time and effort into the look of your short and by and large it looks like a professional piece of work: There's a lot of attention to detail in the production design, edits, angles, etc., all of which give your short a good flow and the plot twist converts your short from an exercise into a story. So far so good but unfortunately, the same attention do detail has not been put into the sound. The Foley and SFX are a little inconsistent but this is a relatively minor detail/weakness, a far more serious weakness is the narration.

Humans are incredibly sensitive to the quality of sounds, to subtle nuances in the tonal characteristics of sounds, which provide us with a great deal of information, both consciously and subconsciously. Car makers for example, spend small fortunes making sure the doors and switch-gear on their cars "sound" suitably expensive, not to mention the tuning of their exhaust systems to create the desired sound for the engine. When it comes to the human voice, we are even more attuned to the subtle nuances of sound. The pronunciation, diction, intonation and other tonal variables of speech not only give us obvious information such as gender and rough age of the speaker but also their demographic, mood, intentions, motivations and also an insight into other aspects of their personality. As filmmakers we not only need a particularly good understanding of these issues but the ability to actually employ that understanding and pay at least as much attention to the fine details of sound (and the sound of speech) because we have only pictures and sound!

The most obvious problem with your short is the narration. The narrator describes himself as extraordinary, different from ordinary people in his attention to fine detail, his level of control, meticulous to the point of obsession in every aspect of his life. The sonic/tonal characteristics of the narrator's voice though contradicts ALL of this! It's the voice of an ordinary lower-middle class young man, whose sloppy contractions and trying too hard with the pronunciation/intonation indicates someone pretending to be something they are not. It indicates someone who lacks meticulous attention to detail, someone who lacks control and is ordinary. All of which is pretty much the exact opposite of the character the narrator is trying to portray!

You have demonstrated an understanding, use, attention to detail, time and effort in your visuals which indicate a level at, or close to, professional standards but your demonstrated lack of understanding and attention to detail with sound, indicates an amateur. Overall therefore, what could have been a professional standard short has been reduced to just a good student short. Of course, that's still an achievement to be very proud of but it's also a bit of a shame.

If you're aiming to just be a cinematographer, then none of the above is particularly important, except as useful background info to give you a broader understanding but if you want to be a director and/or to make your own shorts/films then the above is vitally important. Focusing your attention on image capture and the visuals, while neglecting an equivalent level of knowledge and skill with the sound side of filmmaking will always limit you to the level of an amateur, albeit to the higher end of the amateur spectrum.

G
 
I'm not a big fan of these voice over styled films, but this was good. Interesting subject matter, nice cinematography, etc. The main character had a nice look for the part, but he looks a little young for someone with all of the experience he claims to have. I don't mean to be petty with statements like that. Again, it was a really good short.
 
I like it. Well done. I am a cameraman and would suggest that when working with windows, such as at the over-the shoulder 3:56 point, you expose for the outside so that it doesn't simply "blow out"...just a minor knit-pick point. Nice job.
 
The good:
Story purpose was good, I say the purpose because it got me not expecting to happen what happened.

The visuals were good but fall short of anything amazing, a very safe production which is no bad thing.

The bad: the voice over was boring as hell, went on for too long and the person speaking sounded like an 18 year old.

The guy is supposed to be 28? he either has bad genes or is lying as part of his job and is actually in his 30's..

I liked the ending, reminded me of another film, but for a student short this is very good, the sound was pretty poor maybe you could focus more on that next time.
 
Thank you for the criticism, I appreciate it. You made it very easy to understand why the sound/ narration is an issue, and after viewing many times I totally agree.
I am currently taking the time to learn audio much more thoroughly as I'm a little behind in my audio knowledge, compared to the visual aspects of filmmaking. Technically speaking, I do need much better recording equipment for the sound design/ editing. Unfortunately I was pretty limited to time with the voice over actor I had used so I didn't have much time to experiment with different speaking styles.
Thanks again!
 
That's a very good student short, well done!



OK then: It's a real shame! You've obviously put a lot of time and effort into the look of your short and by and large it looks like a professional piece of work: There's a lot of attention to detail in the production design, edits, angles, etc., all of which give your short a good flow and the plot twist converts your short from an exercise into a story. So far so good but unfortunately, the same attention do detail has not been put into the sound. The Foley and SFX are a little inconsistent but this is a relatively minor detail/weakness, a far more serious weakness is the narration.

Humans are incredibly sensitive to the quality of sounds, to subtle nuances in the tonal characteristics of sounds, which provide us with a great deal of information, both consciously and subconsciously. Car makers for example, spend small fortunes making sure the doors and switch-gear on their cars "sound" suitably expensive, not to mention the tuning of their exhaust systems to create the desired sound for the engine. When it comes to the human voice, we are even more attuned to the subtle nuances of sound. The pronunciation, diction, intonation and other tonal variables of speech not only give us obvious information such as gender and rough age of the speaker but also their demographic, mood, intentions, motivations and also an insight into other aspects of their personality. As filmmakers we not only need a particularly good understanding of these issues but the ability to actually employ that understanding and pay at least as much attention to the fine details of sound (and the sound of speech) because we have only pictures and sound!

The most obvious problem with your short is the narration. The narrator describes himself as extraordinary, different from ordinary people in his attention to fine detail, his level of control, meticulous to the point of obsession in every aspect of his life. The sonic/tonal characteristics of the narrator's voice though contradicts ALL of this! It's the voice of an ordinary lower-middle class young man, whose sloppy contractions and trying too hard with the pronunciation/intonation indicates someone pretending to be something they are not. It indicates someone who lacks meticulous attention to detail, someone who lacks control and is ordinary. All of which is pretty much the exact opposite of the character the narrator is trying to portray!

You have demonstrated an understanding, use, attention to detail, time and effort in your visuals which indicate a level at, or close to, professional standards but your demonstrated lack of understanding and attention to detail with sound, indicates an amateur. Overall therefore, what could have been a professional standard short has been reduced to just a good student short. Of course, that's still an achievement to be very proud of but it's also a bit of a shame.

If you're aiming to just be a cinematographer, then none of the above is particularly important, except as useful background info to give you a broader understanding but if you want to be a director and/or to make your own shorts/films then the above is vitally important. Focusing your attention on image capture and the visuals, while neglecting an equivalent level of knowledge and skill with the sound side of filmmaking will always limit you to the level of an amateur, albeit to the higher end of the amateur spectrum.

G

Thank you for the criticism, I appreciate it. You made it very easy to understand why the sound/ narration is an issue, and after viewing many times I totally agree.
I am currently taking the time to learn audio much more thoroughly as I'm a little behind in my audio knowledge, compared to the visual aspects of filmmaking. Technically speaking, I do need much better recording equipment for the sound design/ editing. Unfortunately I was pretty limited to time with the voice over actor I had used so I didn't have much time to experiment with different speaking styles.
Thanks again!
 
Really like the concept, the look - but agree with first paragraph from PostAudioExpert (haven't read the rest) - the narration isn't right. It bores me, so I stopped looking at this just after two minutes. Well done on the rest of it though!
 
Technically speaking, I do need much better recording equipment for the sound design/ editing.

1. It's always nice to have better quality equipment. Although, you have to remember that as equipment quality increases so the skill level of those operating it also needs to increase, to fully realise the potential of that equipment.

2. There are technical weaknesses in the audio on your short which preclude it from being completely professional standard but to be honest, those weaknesses are relatively inconsequential. In other words, better recording equipment in this particular case, would not have made a significant difference. The main weakness was in the artist audio decision/s not the technical limitations ...

Unfortunately I was pretty limited to time with the voice over actor I had used so I didn't have much time to experiment with different speaking styles.

I would question whether in fact you had a "voice over actor" or at least, a competent one. A competent voice over Actor would have understood the role and acted that role believably and a competent director would also have understood the role and would have hired the right actor to play that role. This was done with the "visual" actor but not with the "audio" actor.

You made it very easy to understand why the sound/ narration is an issue, and after viewing many times I totally agree.

That's great! Believe it or not, many amateur/aspiring directors just never really get it, they are often so fixated on the cinematography or some other individual film craft that they are incapable of appreciating the whole/bigger picture. Just the fact that you're now aware of it, is a major step forward! When you start getting into the guts of audio, it can appear rather daunting but don't let that put you off. There are huge artistic benefits to employing sound design wisely, benefits which can really set you apart from the masses of competing wannabes!

You might find this thread informative, a "next step" to appreciating how the use of sound can aid your storytelling, particularly posts #11 & #12: The Principles of Sound Design.

G
 
There is hair on his jacket, in the opening sequence. And there is coffee on the cup, when he replaces it in the cabinet. These two things ruined the "fastidious" persona you were constructing.
 
There is hair on his jacket, in the opening sequence. And there is coffee on the cup, when he replaces it in the cabinet. These two things ruined the "fastidious" persona you were constructing.

Yeah the hair I didn't actually notice until after shooting. The coffee mug stain was on purpose... showing that the character on screen was not the same as the one speaking. (Because he is not as perfect and clean)
 
That is interesting because I saw it as being 1 of 2 things:

He wasn't as organized as he thought, and was "counter-assassined" for his trouble. :)

They were things missed during filming, and he was "counter-assassined" for his trouble anyway.


I guess I just saw the film as him being killed off despite his best efforts to survive. Still a nice film though.
 
Did I completely misunderstand the short?

From reading these comments I get the feeling that the protagonist and voice-over is the same guy. But after I watched it (without reading comments here), I thought the protagonist and the voice-over were two different people, and that was the whole twist. Personally, I think that is a really cool way to trick the audience. In fact I could even see it as an opening for a feature (the idea).

Nonetheless I liked the visuals and the short. Good job :)
 
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