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"Columbia" TV series pilot teaser

Yes, I am actually working on the sizzle reel - we are waiting on costumes, etc. I'm not goofing off entirely, but love any feedback on the intro teaser.

The Logline is: COLUMBIA (TV Sci-Fi Drama Series) A psychiatrist suffering a mid-life crisis becomes part of a sinister conspiracy when he discovers beings from another galaxy are attempting to communicate through mental patients.

FADE IN:
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

The CLERK chats with a POLICEMAN as CLAIR FIRE BLOSSOM enters. Disheveled, in street clothes.

CLERK
(to cop)
We got a live one.
(to Clare)
Forget it, Pocahontas, you don’t need no more fire water.

Clare spills pile of coins on counter.

CLARE
Lottery ticket.

CLERK
No more tickets. They’re getting ready to call the numbers.

CLAIR
There’s five minutes.

CLERK
All right, all right. What numbers?

CLARE
3,6,9,18,21 and 54.

Clerk and cop share a look.

Ticket PRINTS OUT.

Clerk hands her the ticket. Clerk eyes cop.

Moments later NEWSCASTER on the TV screen.
Cop sips coffee.
Clair pays no attention to the TV.

INSET - TV
Newscaster announces lottery winners.

NEWSCASTER
And for all you lucky lottery fans out there. Tonight’s ten million dollar winning lottery ticket numbers are: 3, 6, 9,
RETURN TO SCENE

The Clerk and the Policeman look at Clare.

LOTTERY ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
18, 21 and 54.

The Clerk and the Policeman look at the ticket.

CLAIR
You can have this for what’s in the drawer.

The Clerk furiously pulls out the tray from the register and hands it over. Clare hands him the ticket and takes only the twenties.

Clair escapes into the night. The Clerk and Policeman look at one another.
 
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