Here are the first five pages of a script I've written ( okay I'll still call it a draft). I copied it from my word document which means the style doesn't look perfect. So far my main focus have been dialogues and character development.
INTO THE MOON
By
S.K.
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Sean ( 85), a retired man sits on a worn out couch humming to a broken version of Nirvana's "smells like teen spirit".
Nathan ( 12 - boy) on his knees fills boxes with old books.
The floor is covered with boxes, books, records, a record player and old man's clothes. Nathan opens a book, gets up and turns off the record player. He looks at Sean.
NATHAN
Shades of red, they came together on that day my heart was bleeding dry. Tears of sadness covering this emptiness and still I wonder why
Nathan sits down on the couch and stares into Sean's eyes
SEAN
And still I wonder why
NATHAN
You miss grandma, don't you, grandpa?
Sean looks outside. Red leaves fall from the trees. He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket, takes off his big glasses and wipes away his tears
NATHAN
My teacher asked me to read one of your poems in front of the class
SEAN
Really?
Sean pages through the book
SEAN
Then I'll get you a real nice one
Nathan grabs a photo stuck between two pages
NATHAN
Is this you and grandma?
Sean puts the photo in his pocket
NATHAN
I'll come visit you at the retirement home
SEAN
That's sweet
Sean wraps his arms around Nathan
NATHAN
I love you, grandpa. And today even a bit more than yesterday
SEAN
What's so special about today, Nathan?
NATHAN
October the fifth. It's been a year since gran...
Sean gets up and runs out of the living room. Nathan gets up and stands in the doorway
NATHAN
Grandpa, did I say anything wrong
Nathan watches his grandpa leave the street.
EXT. PARKING PLACE – NIGHT
Full moon.
Sean ( 25), a student with medium long blonde hair, wearing ripped jeans, a black AC/DC t-shirt and speaking with a deep laid back voice, drives up a crowded parking place adjacent to a wood surrounded by trees.
The place is full of fallen, colored autumn leaves.
He parks his rusty and noisy white car next to Valerie’s black Mercedez Benz.
Motors roar as all other cars exit the parking area.
Valerie ( 25), a woman with dark long hair wearing a black designer dress. She speaks rapidly with a coarse French accent. She gazes at Sean and smiles.
Sean turns up the volume of his radio, bangs his head and moves his shoulders and fingers to "smells like teen spirit" by Nirvana. Sean opens up his window.
Valerie sighs, takes an eyeliner out of her make up bag and applies it to her eyes as she looks in the mirror
SEAN
Wanna dance?
Valerie opens her window
VALERIE
Only to Britney, dude
Valerie turns on her radio and moves her arms to the sound of Britney's "you drive me crazy"
SEAN
That is so against the law
Sean wears a cap and turns off the radio.
VALERIE
Is this the police's new dress code?
Valerie turns off her radio. Sean scratches his head
SEAN
I'm offended, young lady
Valerie puts up her middle finger
VALERIE
Get the fuck out of my way
SEAN
I'm sorry but
VALERIE
What is it you want from me, huh?
Sean pulls up his head
SEAN
Your ID
Valerie fiddles with her boobs, then opens her bag and gives the papers to Sean. Her hands shake.
SEAN
Valerie Leroy, sounds kind of French. I'm Sean
Sean gives Valerie's papers back, Valerie puts them in her bag
VALERIE
I know I'm not allowed to park here after 6 but understand my boyfriend is coming back from Switzerland, counting his bucks and I've used up all his money available in only 5 days
Valerie takes fashion magazines out of her Gucci bag and pages through it.
VALERIE
You must have heard of Gucci, Strelli, Fendi, Versace, Dior? Kinda hard to make a choice
SEAN
I understand, but could you answer my question?
Valerie puts the magazine in her bag and sticks out her hands briefly, then grabs her steering wheel.
VALERIE
Am I arrested? Ok, Valerie, just drive
Valerie puts her foot on the accelerator. The motor roars but the car remains stationary.
SEAN
What the fuck
VALERIE
I can't run faster than you, but my car, it will race
Sean puts up his hands in the air
SEAN
Hey relax, I just wanted to dance
Valerie stops her car
VALERIE
I thought it was against the law
SEAN
Against the law of grunge
VALERIE
Does that mean you're not uh?
Valerie gets out of her car and gives Sean a hug and kiss near his mouth. It leaves a lipstick mark.
VALERIE
Oops, I'm sorry
Valerie takes a handkerchief out of her bag and cleans Sean's face. She throws it away. Sean looks to the floor
SEAN
It's not as illegal as parking our cars over here
Valerie grabs Sean by the hand. Sean doesn't move.
VALERIE
Why don't we go to a pub, have a drink or two cause it would be kinda strange to have one drink for two
SEAN
We could stay here. Enjoy the moonshine, it's freakingly inspiring
VALERIE
Can I get into your car?
INTO THE MOON
By
S.K.
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Sean ( 85), a retired man sits on a worn out couch humming to a broken version of Nirvana's "smells like teen spirit".
Nathan ( 12 - boy) on his knees fills boxes with old books.
The floor is covered with boxes, books, records, a record player and old man's clothes. Nathan opens a book, gets up and turns off the record player. He looks at Sean.
NATHAN
Shades of red, they came together on that day my heart was bleeding dry. Tears of sadness covering this emptiness and still I wonder why
Nathan sits down on the couch and stares into Sean's eyes
SEAN
And still I wonder why
NATHAN
You miss grandma, don't you, grandpa?
Sean looks outside. Red leaves fall from the trees. He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket, takes off his big glasses and wipes away his tears
NATHAN
My teacher asked me to read one of your poems in front of the class
SEAN
Really?
Sean pages through the book
SEAN
Then I'll get you a real nice one
Nathan grabs a photo stuck between two pages
NATHAN
Is this you and grandma?
Sean puts the photo in his pocket
NATHAN
I'll come visit you at the retirement home
SEAN
That's sweet
Sean wraps his arms around Nathan
NATHAN
I love you, grandpa. And today even a bit more than yesterday
SEAN
What's so special about today, Nathan?
NATHAN
October the fifth. It's been a year since gran...
Sean gets up and runs out of the living room. Nathan gets up and stands in the doorway
NATHAN
Grandpa, did I say anything wrong
Nathan watches his grandpa leave the street.
EXT. PARKING PLACE – NIGHT
Full moon.
Sean ( 25), a student with medium long blonde hair, wearing ripped jeans, a black AC/DC t-shirt and speaking with a deep laid back voice, drives up a crowded parking place adjacent to a wood surrounded by trees.
The place is full of fallen, colored autumn leaves.
He parks his rusty and noisy white car next to Valerie’s black Mercedez Benz.
Motors roar as all other cars exit the parking area.
Valerie ( 25), a woman with dark long hair wearing a black designer dress. She speaks rapidly with a coarse French accent. She gazes at Sean and smiles.
Sean turns up the volume of his radio, bangs his head and moves his shoulders and fingers to "smells like teen spirit" by Nirvana. Sean opens up his window.
Valerie sighs, takes an eyeliner out of her make up bag and applies it to her eyes as she looks in the mirror
SEAN
Wanna dance?
Valerie opens her window
VALERIE
Only to Britney, dude
Valerie turns on her radio and moves her arms to the sound of Britney's "you drive me crazy"
SEAN
That is so against the law
Sean wears a cap and turns off the radio.
VALERIE
Is this the police's new dress code?
Valerie turns off her radio. Sean scratches his head
SEAN
I'm offended, young lady
Valerie puts up her middle finger
VALERIE
Get the fuck out of my way
SEAN
I'm sorry but
VALERIE
What is it you want from me, huh?
Sean pulls up his head
SEAN
Your ID
Valerie fiddles with her boobs, then opens her bag and gives the papers to Sean. Her hands shake.
SEAN
Valerie Leroy, sounds kind of French. I'm Sean
Sean gives Valerie's papers back, Valerie puts them in her bag
VALERIE
I know I'm not allowed to park here after 6 but understand my boyfriend is coming back from Switzerland, counting his bucks and I've used up all his money available in only 5 days
Valerie takes fashion magazines out of her Gucci bag and pages through it.
VALERIE
You must have heard of Gucci, Strelli, Fendi, Versace, Dior? Kinda hard to make a choice
SEAN
I understand, but could you answer my question?
Valerie puts the magazine in her bag and sticks out her hands briefly, then grabs her steering wheel.
VALERIE
Am I arrested? Ok, Valerie, just drive
Valerie puts her foot on the accelerator. The motor roars but the car remains stationary.
SEAN
What the fuck
VALERIE
I can't run faster than you, but my car, it will race
Sean puts up his hands in the air
SEAN
Hey relax, I just wanted to dance
Valerie stops her car
VALERIE
I thought it was against the law
SEAN
Against the law of grunge
VALERIE
Does that mean you're not uh?
Valerie gets out of her car and gives Sean a hug and kiss near his mouth. It leaves a lipstick mark.
VALERIE
Oops, I'm sorry
Valerie takes a handkerchief out of her bag and cleans Sean's face. She throws it away. Sean looks to the floor
SEAN
It's not as illegal as parking our cars over here
Valerie grabs Sean by the hand. Sean doesn't move.
VALERIE
Why don't we go to a pub, have a drink or two cause it would be kinda strange to have one drink for two
SEAN
We could stay here. Enjoy the moonshine, it's freakingly inspiring
VALERIE
Can I get into your car?
