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The Final Three (short comedy script excerpt)

Plot:

Three employees of a business let their imaginations run wild as they ponder what is going on when the other employees become suspiciously absent.

About the Script:

This is a 14-page short script that originated as quite a different idea many years ago. It is the first draft of the newly evolved idea.

The following is just an excerpt. The formatting as it appears in this thread was copied from a text file of the Celtx file.

The goal here is to gain feedback on whether or not this story grabs the reader in the first few pages and wants to read more. All feedback is much appreciated.

THE FINAL THREE

By

Phantom Screenwriter
phantomscreenwriter@yahoo.com

COPYRIGHT (C) 2013
PHANTOM SCREENWRITER

This screenplay cannot be
reprinted, sold or
distributed in any form
without the permission
of the author.

FADE IN:

EXT. CAR PARK - DAY

Standing around with white, plastic coffee cups are two male
workers dressed in business attire - long black pants, black
polished shoes, white long sleeved shirt with a collar and a
tie.

One of them is BOB, (late 40s) a man who looks like he means
business, with a permanent scowl on his face. He stands with
his arms folded over his chest with his free hand holding
the coffee cup so he can drink from it.

The other is WILL, (early 20s) a man who is the opposite of
Bob - he looks like someone who is willing to serve, with a
wide-eyed look at the world. He stands with a straight
backed posture, one arm dropped to his side and the other
holding his coffee cup at a right angle at chest height.

They are in the middle of a conversation.

BOB
(lecturing)
...that's why ya' never, ever, let
them walk over ya' understand?

Will looks at Bob and nods in agreement.

WILL
It, uh, sounds like you've seen a
lot then.

BOB
(sighs)
Ya' don't get to my age without
losin' some teeth as the sayin'
goes.

Will has a bit of a chuckle. Bob shoots him a deathly look
which cuts him off.

BOB
Ya' think that's funny, huh?

WILL
(apologetic)
Uh, no...no I don't.

Bob looks past Will and rolls his eyes.

BOB
Here comes trouble on two legs...

Will looks in the direction where Bob looked and his face
seems to blush.

An attractive woman, SUZIE (late 20s) walks towards Bob and
Will oozing confidence as her hips sway from left to right.
She smiles at Will and Bob, who gives a fake smile in
return.

SUZIE
I need to ask you guys something.

BOB
(sarcastically)
Lookin' forward to it...

Suzie ignores Bob's comment.

SUZIE
I want to know if you have any idea
of what happened to Andy?

Bob thinks for a moment.

BOB'S IMAGINATION:

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Andy (30s) opens the door to his Motel room and has a peek
inside. He turns to someone outside the door and motions for
them to come inside.

He leads a WOMAN (30s) by the hand into the room. They start
to kiss passionately and fall onto the bed, getting more hot
and heavy.

Next thing there's Andy's WIFE (30s) standing at the door
with her arms folded around her chest and tapping her foot.

WIFE
(angry)
Andy!

Andy looks and sees his Wife walking towards him with a
knife in her hand.

Next thing Bob is standing next to Andy's wife and grabs her
by the waist, spins her around to face him then gives her a
passionate kiss.

BOB'S IMAGINATION ENDS:

EXT. CAR PARK - DAY

Bob looks at Suzie and answers her before Will can get a
word in.

BOB
I don't know...

Suzie looks a bit deflated.

WILL
(to Suzie)
Why did you, uh, want to know?

SUZIE
I wanted to tell him something
about Molly.

Bob smiles to himself.

BOB
Didn't you hear what happened to
Molly, Suzie?

Suzie looks at Bob.

SUZIE'S IMAGINATION:

INT. CAFE - DAY

MOLLY (30S) is having a coffee and a chocolate muffin. She
takes another bite from the muffin but it goes down the
wrong way and she starts to choke.

Molly tries drinking her coffee to get it down but it won't
work and her head drops to the table.

INT. STREET - DAY

Molly is walking along when she trips on some rubbish lying
on the ground and lands head over heels onto the road.

A car is approaching at speed and Molly looks in fear and
closes her eyes.

INT. OFFICE - ANDY'S CUBICLE - DAY

Andy is seated at his desk engrossed in his work when Molly
comes in and starts a conversation.

Suzie sees this, walks over to them with a look of rage on
her face and violently shoves Molly out of the way.

Suzie smiles at Andy, grabs him playfully by the tie and
pulls him to his feet. Andy looks like a grandson about to
be kissed by his grandmother as Suzie brings his face closer
to hers.

Suzie kisses Andy passionately and he waves his arms about
trying desperately to get away from Suzie.

SUZIE'S IMAGINATION ENDS:

EXT. CAR PARK - DAY

Suzie looks at Bob and shakes her head.

SUZIE
I don't know, what happened to
Mole...I mean, Molly?

BOB
Andy got a divorce and he and Molly
got together...or so I heard on the
grapevine.

Suzie lets slip a look of anger before returning her
expression to innocence.

SUZIE
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that about
Andy and his wife...

Bob takes a sip of his coffee and while he has the cup to
his mouth he mutters something under his breath.

BOB
(to himself)
I bet you are...

Will notices this.

WILL
Uh, what did you say?

Bob scowls at Will.

BOB
Can't a man talk to himself?

Bob takes another sip of his coffee. Mutters something else
under his breath.

BOB
(to himself)
I bet you'd love to strangle Molly
if that were true...

Will takes a sip of his coffee and Suzie examines her fingernails
on each hand.

After a moment of silence Bob looks at Will.

BOB
Ya' been fairly quiet Will, do you
know about what's happened to Andy
and Molly?

Suzie joins Bob in looking at Will. Will looks to both of
them.

WILL
I, uh, don't know. What I do know
is that, uh, well...

BOB
Do ya' need me to do the Heimlich
Maneuver (mis-pronounces Heimlich)
to get it out of ya'?

Will clears his throat.

WILL
Well, uh, they're not the only ones
who are missing.

Suzie becomes really interested.

SUZIE
I want to know!

BOB
Staff numbers have been dwindlin'
lately.

WILL
No one knows or, uh, has heard of
what happened to anyone...very
strange.

SUZIE
I have a sister who's psychic and I
think I have the gift...anyway, I
sometimes get what I like to call
psychic flushes, I mean, flashes.

Bob scoffs.

BOB
Psychic flushes sounds more like
it...flush 'em down the bloody
toilet.

Suzie ignores Bob's comment.

SUZIE
I think that something bad has
happened to everyone.

Bob looks at his watch.

BOB
Time to get movin'

Bob throws the rest of his coffee onto the ground and walks
off leaving Will and Suzie behind.

WILL
Well, uh, see you around then.

Will starts to leave. Suzie touches him on the arm. He looks
down at her hand and then into her eyes.

SUZIE
Be careful I think more bad stuff
is going to happen over the next
few days...

Will nods and leaves. Suzie fixes her hair and gets out her
make-up kit to do some touching up.
 
Last edited:
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