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Does my short film sound alright?

N

Ninj4hire

I think I got an idea, it's called "The Red Balloon" or whatever, if you guys can come up with a better one that'd be pretty cool.

Basically It's about a boy who is sad and one day while he is sitting alone at a park, an elderly man see's the depressed boy and gives him a red balloon (or the red balloon can come from nowhere and float down to the kid) the boy is uplifted by this and becomes closely attached to the balloon and acts like the balloon is his best friend. Now I'm coming along with the story as I type so there are two approaches I just thought of:

1. The boy could hold onto the balloon until adulthood until he's satisfied and let the balloon go to find another child to brightens their day.

or

2. The boy and his red balloon comes across girl with a blue balloon and they start playing and become best friends and eventually let the balloons go together and end the film on the balloons floating away.

So this is my idea. It'll be under 5 minutes, I think t'll be pretty easy to do, there's no dialogue either. You guys may suggest different approaches if you'd like.

Does this sound like a good idea?
 
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Just for pure amusement - and because I just can't freakin' help myself - a great commercial about a pink "balloon" and a blue "balloon" and a friend.........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efRGjRMwagA​
 
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An elderly man shows the boy how to make a paper boat in the park. They put the boat into the water and the boy chases it as it floats along. His boat runs into a boat belonging to a girl. They lock eyes (their eyes are the same intense color). As they stare into each other's eyes, the boats float away together.
 
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I think there's a way for you to keep the balloon angle. Play the what if? game:

What if the boy discovers the balloon on his own?
What if the girl started with two balloons and lost one and it's the balloon the boy finds?
What if the boy and girl, once they meet, become each other's very first love?
What if you show the boy and the girl's relationship developing at different stages of their life?
What if you end the film with the boy and girl (now an elderly man and woman) seeing a boy and a girl in the park experiencing a similar thing to what they did?
 
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PhantomScreenwriter said:
I think there's a way for you to keep the balloon angle. Play the what if? game:

What if the boy discovers the balloon on his own?
What if the girl started with two balloons and lost one and it's the balloon the boy finds?
What if the boy and girl, once they meet, become each other's very first love?
What if you show the boy and the girl's relationship developing at different stages of their life?
What if you end the film with the boy and girl (now an elderly man and woman) seeing a boy and a girl in the park experiencing a similar thing to what they did?
Click to expand...

I really like that. Only problem is finding old people that slightly resemble the kids plus adding more stages in their life is more than what I was hoping to shoot with only 3 days to complete this project. But maybe I can just do up to where they become each others very first love
 
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I understand completely where you're coming from. It's difficult to find the right actors at the best of times but when you have a short time frame to work with it's even more so.

I wish you all the best with this project though :)
 
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Don't know if this has been done before, but what if the balloon had a note attached and floated down to the boy? The rest of the story revolves around finding the owner of the note? Maybe years later? ...Kind of a divine intervention / fate thing?

-Birdman
 
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Ninj4hire said:
Alright guys, here's the finished product!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJH5eMDjiz0&feature=youtu.be

Criticize it however you want, I'm just glad I have the damn thing finished! I know the music doesn't fit in some areas but I had to grab what I could since the deadline is today!
Click to expand...

Ninja, that was surprisingly well done! I enjoyed it very much. I agree on the music. Having a score that could be "moody" in some areas might help, but having a philharmonic symphony at your beckoning call can be kinda tough.

VERY good!

-Birdman
 
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That was really good. I think the music is good, having no dialogue is good and it has a positive feel to it. Well done, I recommend you do more shorts because I would like to see more and see what you do next.
 
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