I'm watching without sound since I'm at work, so this critique is just on the more visual/technical aspects, since I obviously won't be able to react to the story or comedy elements.
First thoughts, your lighting is very hard, there's a lot of hard shadows, glare on the faces, and the images are even bordering on overexposed. I do appreciate that you obviously took the time to try and light your scene, since most new(er) filmmakers tend to say, 'Hey, I've got a DLSR with a fast lens, who needs to light?' So step one accomplished, you're aware of and thinking about lighting. Now it's time to refine that. From the amount of light I'm gonna guess that you're using a pretty strong light, maybe even one of those 500w work lights. Go out and grab some diffusion gels and clip them on the front of the light. Don't use just anything as these lights get very hot and can be a fire hazard. Gels meant for lighting are flame-resistant and at worst might get a little melty. The other option is to get a soft-box. Make-up will also help with the facial glare.
The shot at 0:53 is out of focus, even at 1080p. Just keep an eye out for stuff like that. If you can't tell clearly from your camera display, you can use focus assist (with a static shot like this) or measure the distance and adjust your lens accordingly.
Some of the framing could use some work. It's not that it's terrible, but it could be more artfully done to use the camera to help tell the story. Also, you crossed the line slightly from your very first shot to the second one. It was a little disorienting. Crossing the line is fine if it's intentional, but you need to establish context so we as the audience still know where/what we're looking at. The only other shots that seemed jumpy/disorienting are at about 0:35 0:37 and 0:44. I think the reason the first one is jumpy is because you've put a shot of the other two guys in between the shot of him getting up and then of him walking toward the camera. So in a way, it's like we're going from no movement to movement. The second one, is a little strange because you've got the guy walking straight toward the camera, but then when we cut to the other direction, he steps in frame from the right. And the third just has no context. The last time we saw those two they were sitting, now BAM, they are walking to the door.
If those were intentionally like that to disorient the viewer, then ignore my comments, like I said I'm watching without sound so I'm not getting the nuances of the story.
Hope that helps!
