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Old 07-15-2018, 01:07 PM   #16
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A good director will know, and anyone reading will because you don't state until the end so you are set.
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Old 07-15-2018, 03:10 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Panos View Post
AcousticAl I've read that article long time ago. It is irrelevant because it doesn't answer to my question. If I'm wrong please mention the part where it does.
Gladly:

Quote:
Is there a time to use camera directions?

Use camera directions rarely and only for a dramatic or comedic moment. I’ll provide an example from my silly sci-fi comedy Ratman from Saturn, which was sold but not produced.

The opening scene is a public service announcement from an army general wearing his Class A dress uniform. We only see him from the chest up. He states emphatically that there is no such thing as aliens from outer space.

…And then, I use a camera direction:

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

The general with a fat reptillian tail.
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Old 07-15-2018, 07:15 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Panos View Post
"Words beneath the poster are omitted from audience view." is perfect, it forces the director not to show the words but only the drawing, but still it is direction advise.
I'm curious why you think it's direction advice?
The whole point of my post was to not give direction advice in a script - that's why I didn't list a method of omission, just the fact its omitted.

And yeah no competition mara I've got nothing but support in my heart for you

Last edited by sfoster; 07-15-2018 at 08:24 PM.
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:21 PM   #19
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Originally posted by Panos mlesemann sorry, I was to hurry to answer. I think it is absolutely perfect!!!
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It's not a competition, but I'm glad you liked it.
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:59 AM   #20
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AcousticAl in this example the revelation of the below part is made in the same scene after we see only the half part of an image. But my question is about one scene where we only see the upper part of an image and there is no revelation of the below part taking place. Only at the end I just show the whole image.

I see though, that there is that line: "We only see him from the chest up". Of course I could write something like this and the director would understand, but my question was about a proper, more professional way to mention it. I don't know who wrote that article, but if you live in an unknown country in Europe and you want to succeed in Hollywood, sending a screenplay with phrases like: "we see", "we hear", "we listen" is more than forbidden.

sfoster and mlesemann I hugely respect and thank you both, even though our senses of humor are in conflict

sfoster I'm curious why you think it's not direction advice. There is no audience in my story!! So it is something that I'm telling to the director.

Last edited by Panos; 07-16-2018 at 07:01 AM.
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Old 07-16-2018, 08:44 AM   #21
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Your story has no audience
One of the very first things you should do while writing is decide who your audience is.

You have to know your audience. It's very important.

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sfoster I'm curious why you think it's not direction advice.
because i listed no method of omission...

If i said "the words are blocked by a plant" that is direction advice
if I said "the camera is close up so we can't see the words under the picture" that's direction advice

I'm not telling the director how to do his job I'm just stating a fact... those words are omitted from audience view in order for your story to function properly.
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Old 07-16-2018, 10:37 AM   #22
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When I say my story has no audience I mean that there is not any audience in my story, for example when I write a story about a war, there are the soldiers, the field, the weapons.. there is nowhere any audience inside the story. That means that when I write: "Words beneath the poster are omitted from audience view" I'm referring to the audience that sit in the cinema sits. That means that for a while, I stop the flow of my story, the progressive development of my story and I talk to the director. And what I'm saying to him, is of course an advise on what to show with his camera, since from how I set the scene, there are no objects to block the view.
-----
"One of the very first things you should do while writing is decide who your audience is." This is not true. Your story, that burns you from the top to the bottom and force you to write, decides your audience, not you.
-----
I see how you think about direction advises, but in my opinion it's not correct.
If you said "the words are blocked by a plant" that is not a direction advice (I guess you missed the "not")
But if you say "Words beneath the poster are omitted from audience view" and it is clear from how you made the set that there is not any thing that blocks these words, then it is obvious that you advise the director to use his camera in such a way so the words beneath the poster will be omitted from audience view.

We play with the words here. That phrase: "Words beneath the poster are omitted from audience view" is considered as a direction advise. You can do a research on that. The gurus might be wrong, but until this moment it is considered as a direction advise.

Last edited by Panos; 07-16-2018 at 10:40 AM.
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:03 AM   #23
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Dude, all you have to do is say they approach a cave drawing and describe the drawing only...

Then the dialog is about the letters but since you did not describe them they cannot be shown.

They are revealed LATER in the script.

You are overthinking this. It would be one thing if this was a famous statue like the Statue of Liberty and he asked what some words were... because they are known.

You have an irrational fear that because they are revealed later, that the director will show them earlier, even though they were never revealed.

A reader will read through this and wonder what the words were, get to the end and say a ha! If that is vital to the ending, why in the world would a director put them earlier? And why should you worry over that as the writer?
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:07 AM   #24
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I also agree that mentioning the audience is direction. There is no audience in the cave so you can only be making a directoral note and cheating a bit by not mentioning a camera angle or technique.

IF you are going to use direction just use it. If you are that worried. Trying to skate around it is worse.

They approach a cave drawing with what appears to be an ancient scrawl below.

SCRAWL IS OUT OF FOCUS AND ILLEGIBLE FOR ENTIRE SCENE

TIMMY
What are those letters?

Using direction once should be fine. Just don't make it a habit. But here it works.
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:28 AM   #25
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Hah well we all have different opinions but it's good to hear them and I'll avoid mentioning the word audience in a screen play.

Last edited by sfoster; 07-16-2018 at 11:33 AM.
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:36 AM   #26
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Well I am certainly no guru.
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:41 AM   #27
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Oh i want to try again.. how about this

"On the wall is a poster with mysterious words written underneath it"
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:48 AM   #28
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I have a feeling the "ancient language" may be English or Greek or something and that is the twist or something to this doomsday type script set in the future. That's why he is so worried. It's not hieroglyphs.
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Old 07-16-2018, 12:12 PM   #29
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Indietalk I'm not overthinking it, we just discuss a specific issue!
The story is taking place in the far future and the words are English language. These words is the last scene, explaining everything and eliminates completely any remained mystery or misunderstanding. I love that in movies, when everything is explained.
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Old 07-16-2018, 12:23 PM   #30
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Only a student director on drugs with a shitty crew would show that in the wrong place of a movie.
YES you are overthinking it.
That is your ending! And it is not mentioned earlier in the script.
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