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Old 03-07-2018, 09:13 AM   #16
Quality
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No, he's a thorough police detective.
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Old Today   #1A
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Old 03-07-2018, 02:38 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quality View Post
One thing, when Victor says, "Yes, robot." I was more picturing it arrogantly. It's a universe where a few civilians don't like the idea of robots.
Okay. It didn't come off that way. It seems out of place that
in 3018 (1,000 years from now) people would not like the idea
of robots. That's about 33 generations from today. One would
think that people would be as comfortable with robots as we
are with "Siri" and "Alexa". And they are only 6 and 3 years old.
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Old 03-07-2018, 03:01 PM   #18
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Human nature I guess. No matter how comfortable it gets, everyone won't like the same thing. Thanks a lot for dissecting my screenplay everyone. It really helps me out very much to get better. I knew I could on you guys, especially you directorik. xD
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:29 AM   #19
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Quality, I hope you don't get discouraged in reading the replies. I hope they are seen and absorbed/digested as an attempt to help improve both this writing sample as well your writing in general. I can't speak for the other replies but I do have confidence in them knowing what they are talking about and there seems to be some common themes in the suggestions.

Give it another go and get out your writing scalpel and do some surgery on your sample.

Good luck!

Last edited by UneducatedFan; 03-08-2018 at 12:45 PM.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:34 AM   #20
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Of course not, that's why I said thank you all for your contributions. I don't expect to give someone a script, and they baby me like my mother.
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Old 03-08-2018, 12:45 PM   #21
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Hey, you leave your mother out of this!
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Old 03-15-2018, 10:40 AM   #22
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Needs more description, especially Jay... what does he look like? what's he wearing? The city etc also need this a bit because currently, I just picture Blade Runner.
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Old 03-15-2018, 10:55 AM   #23
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It's not a cyberpunk city. It's a bit more modern.
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Old 07-08-2018, 06:26 PM   #24
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How much do you want for it?
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Old 07-08-2018, 08:47 PM   #25
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Are you interested in buying my screenplay?
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Old 07-08-2018, 09:32 PM   #26
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Yeah, can I check out the whole thing?
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Old 07-08-2018, 09:39 PM   #27
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Well, it's not on the internet.
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Old 07-08-2018, 09:56 PM   #28
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Could you send it to me badassproductions.tylerharris@gmail.com
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Old 07-08-2018, 10:35 PM   #29
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Clearly to produce this would require a big budget and high VFX.
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Old 07-08-2018, 10:41 PM   #30
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Probably
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