Why do you think the festivals weren't into this?

Personally story-line wise it's a typical. Everything is shot very well and sound is nice.
The problem would be the constant change of attention from the main storyline to the flashbacks.
There's just too much.
Also I think that you used too much swearing.
Like the F word is used WAY too much. It just gets a bit over done. Drama must be done with diligence as to not become fake.
People in situations like that do swear a lot. But not like machine guns.
There's also not enough conversations between the actual people in the actual story line.
You rely too much on the narration to pull the storyline through.
So it becomes like a fairy tale instead of a movie.
But Man, I gotta say everything else is pretty awesome.
 
Yeah i know what you mean about the flashbacks. That is one of my regrets with the film. I actually did try an edit without it but the whole thing just became hollow and overly violent.

I don't agree use of swearing. This is really how people talk in these situations. In fact, the story is somewhat based in reality. When i asked the people involved about what it was like, they said most of their memory was people swearing at each other. We spent time with the actors improvising the scenes before we went back to the script and without it, the film just didn't feel realistic. it also should be noted again that we are australian... we swear a lot here. :lol:

As a side note, sorry to harp on about the hand held thing, but Star Trek looked basically all hand held. I didn't think it detracted from the story at all. I know the point was made before that just because it works in a hollywood feature doesn't mean it works in a short; but I'm sorry, with hand held, i just don't agree. It is a technique i adore. I guess my films will be doomed because of it. Such is life.

Again, thanx to all for your input and thoughts. Good and bad reviews: this forum is great and i am really appreciating the insights.
 
Hey. I personally disagree with the criticisms over the visuals. I thought that the hand held and the darkness were appropriate for the story, and I have seen identical aesthetics in mainstream feature films. A lot of people (myself included) don't like hand held, and It is a sorely overused technique right now, but that doesn't mean it's not a valid technique or that it's wrong for your story.

I am completely ignorant of film festival criteria/politics, but for what it's worth I can give my critique of the project. What I'm assuming you were trying to do with the main story and the V.O./F.B. was create a contrast between a hyper-violent present reality and an almost "story book" alternate reality. I think that this contrast was interesting, but it didn't completely work. I only got into the story after the violence actually started. Before that I have to admit that his aggressive apartment entry cut with his unhappy childhood seemed cliched, and felt like much more exposition than I needed in a short. Once he actually got into the room, and the present and "what they don't know" were more distinct from one another I started enjoying it a lot more.

I personally would have started later in the current day story line, I thought that the opening was beautiful but was the opening of a feature film not a short. I also would have had the "pride in his work" flash back before the childhood ones, because I think the childhood section would have more emotional pull once we know the character. But obviously these suggestions are specific and subjective to the point of being unhelpful. :rolleyes: Just food for thought.

Also if I'm way off-base on what you were trying to do I'm sorry for the yammering :P
 
I am completely ignorant of film festival criteria/politics, but for what it's worth I can give my critique of the project. What I'm assuming you were trying to do with the main story and the V.O./F.B. was create a contrast between a hyper-violent present reality and an almost "story book" alternate reality. I think that this contrast was interesting, but it didn't completely work. I only got into the story after the violence actually started. Before that I have to admit that his aggressive apartment entry cut with his unhappy childhood seemed cliched, and felt like much more exposition than I needed in a short. Once he actually got into the room, and the present and "what they don't know" were more distinct from one another I started enjoying it a lot more.

I personally would have started later in the current day story line, I thought that the opening was beautiful but was the opening of a feature film not a short. I also would have had the "pride in his work" flash back before the childhood ones, because I think the childhood section would have more emotional pull once we know the character. But obviously these suggestions are specific and subjective to the point of being unhelpful. :rolleyes: Just food for thought.

Also if I'm way off-base on what you were trying to do I'm sorry for the yammering :P

Nah, bro, these are great. The funding body who gave us the money for it thought it should start later as well. And you are right, i was trying to make it more like a feature. Guess it didn't work so well. Thanx for your thoughts.
 
For what it's worth, I think this movie would be fantastic at feature length. The quality level is def. in the pro range, if I saw this as a trailer I'd think non-hollywood but not sketchy-indie. Nothing against sketchy-indie. At all. As it's where I live and breath. Um, yes. Also, I a girl :D
 
For what it's worth, I think this movie would be fantastic at feature length. The quality level is def. in the pro range, if I saw this as a trailer I'd think non-hollywood but not sketchy-indie. Nothing against sketchy-indie. At all. As it's where I live and breath. Um, yes. Also, I a girl :D

Why do i keep messing that up? hahahaha

Once again, i am sorry. :rofl:

And that is really nice of you to say about the quality of the film.
 
Well I liked it, but some of the criticisms I've read I agree with.

There's so much swearing in the sequence with the tramp that I just got bored (it picked up later on). I understand your response about people in the real situation remembering just the swearing, and you were depicting reality, but it's quite another thing presenting that reality to a distant audience. It's quite possible to convey the mood without more than half the dialogue being an expletive.
I also felt it was too long for the idea, which again may be down to the use of swearing, but it may just be that there were too many flashbacks for my liking.

I didn't have a problem with the camera work (given that the dimness is down to compression), and I thought the acting was good.

As for film festivals, I read an interesting article in Moviescope this year by Chris Jones about the selection process, in which he bemoans the lack of feedback and its apparently arbitrary nature, so it could partly be down to just bad luck.

Incidentally, I can't help wondering whether it would have worked better doing the final sequence (carrying away the girl) in the same style as the flashbacks?

(I'm not a girl, by the way ;))
 
Back
Top