How do I write this climax logically?

harmonica44 · Jan 16, 2012

I am writing very low budget. So I want the climax to take place in doors, since it's cheaper to film a gunfight indoors, than out. It's not just a standard gunfight, but it starts off as a stand off, so the main twists can come into play, under the suspense.

Here's the scenario. This gang, gang #1, breaks into a bank, cause they want something that's in the building. The cops have the place surrounded. Another gang, gang #2, does not want the police to have, what gang #1, is after. So gang 2 goes to the bank, and their plan is to take out the cops, make their way in, take out the gang 1 and take the item. That's the jest of it.

Now the police would logically set up road blocks to prevent gang 1 from escaping, but I need gang 2 to get past the road blocks and the outdoor cops, in order to make their way into the building. I need to write it, so all the action takes place inside the bank, for low budget reasons. I could write it, so the police get word that gang 2 is coming for them. So they all hide, and get their road blocks out of site. They then let gang 2 into the building, to take out gang 1, then they re-surround the building, and have both gangs cornered. Not the proper police procedure, but need to get creative. But there is still the matter of the gangs shooting outside the building, at the cops, and the cops would or course, shoot back.

Any thoughts on this whole scenario? Thanks.

rayw · Jan 17, 2012

1 - How many minutes long is this sequence?

2 - Haven't you already shot "some" of this already?

3 - If so, how many seconds or minutes?

4 - " I need some sort of sequence of violent suspense, in which certain characters have to die, and certain have to live, for a desired outcome." Makes sense. How many will die? Exactly. I can't fabricate a tool to fix your problem if you keep providing vagueries.
I need to know which guys to kill and which to preserve.

5 - Are you willing to reshoot the entire sequence?

harmonica44 · Jan 17, 2012

No I haven't shot any of this, it's a script I haven't finished for the future possibly. Not my current short. The sequence is of suspense on being 10 minutes.

rayw · Jan 17, 2012

And the body count/preservation?

joey1320 · Jan 20, 2012

The only way that I could see this happening is with a small town police department. I'm not sure how a bigger city will let something like this happen and how the media won't be involved in it somehow.

A small town police force, with maybe 6-7 officers, maybe 1-2(siblings/cousins) officers are away at a wedding or funeral so the force is down to 4-5 officers... then this would work. No media involved, 3-4 gang members could take them out... watta ya think?

drc · Jan 22, 2012

A member of gang 2 could already be inside and the rest of gang 2 dress up as the press/media. The member of gang 2 sneaks out (pretending to be gang 1 bank robber) and demands that members of Channel 3 action news come in to film their demands or they will kill a little girl. Gang 2, pretending to be the news crew get inside and hidden within their camera equipment are their guns.

EDIT: You would need to work it out with fineness but that's a VERY CHEAP approach.

harmonica44 · Jun 6, 2012

Okay thanks, this idea may work, but, how does the media get their before the police that are on their way? Usually the police get to a crisis way before, since their cars have sirens and allowed to speed through all the red lights. 911 is always called first before the media, and 911 never calls the media to a crisis and tells them to meet them there. But I think instead of a bank I will make the building a restaurant or something like that, for cheaper. I will also show all the action from an indoor point of view. If someone is shot on the outside, I can have it heard through a police radio and that's it. I hope the audience doesn't catch on that it's only the indoor action that is getting all the visual attention though, and that takes them out of the suspense.

knightly · Jun 6, 2012

you can throw a red light and a blue light on switches outside and have someone switch them on and off to emulate police lights outside... start them at the point that you have the police show up... works like a champ.

harmonica44 · Jun 7, 2012

For sure. I already got the lights covered, it's mainly showing actors in police uniforms outside with guns, I need to worry about. Even if it's from gang inside the building's point of view, they will still need to see outside so the audience knows what's going on.