The character’s look shows the audience who she/he is, too. (I mean, can you imagine a cowboy without horse or the typical hat? A cheerleader (at the training) without the pompoms or those typical clothing?) But how do you mention it without being annoying in the script?
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How can I mention character’s look perfectly?
- Thread starter Future_Screen
- Start date
It depends on how prominent this character is. Extra or secondary character? You already provided your answer "COWBOY" or "CHEERLEADER" is all that's needed because the visual you described is already built into the term. DOCTOR, POLICEMAN/FIREMAN, SOLDIER, etc. if these are all secondary characters, then all you need is the above. Calling them DOCTOR is the description.
If they are main characters then more description is warranted to set the visual image of what they look like and how their presence is portrayed on screen. Enough to paint the picture in a minimalistic way IMHO is the way to go.
Here's how Darabont introduces ANDY DUFRESNE in The Shawshank Redemption. It's rather long:
RED:
Here's how Taylor Sheridan did it in Hell or Highwater even for seconary characters:
Main Characters:
If they are main characters then more description is warranted to set the visual image of what they look like and how their presence is portrayed on screen. Enough to paint the picture in a minimalistic way IMHO is the way to go.
Here's how Darabont introduces ANDY DUFRESNE in The Shawshank Redemption. It's rather long:
RED:
Here's how Taylor Sheridan did it in Hell or Highwater even for seconary characters:
Main Characters:
Yes I can imagine a cowboy without a horse or a typical hat.
If you set the scene:
EXT. SPORTS FIELD - DAY
The cheerleaders are in the middle of their routine when Jane runs
onto the field.
I will know that they are wearing those typical clothing and carrying
the pompoms. No need to tell the reader what they are wearing unless
it's not typical. If they are all in Wookie costumes, you need to write
that. If they are wearing what we all know is typical clothing you don't.
If the appearance item is significant for the audience you can mention it in an action and possibly even put it in brackets within the dialogue for the first time a character speaks. This is a very trained, conscious character:
FBI Agent Charles
(pushes his black-rimmed glasses up his nose)
Where's the rest of this dossier?
FBI Agent Charles
(pushes his black-rimmed glasses up his nose)
Where's the rest of this dossier?
I'd stay away from parentheticals that lengthy. If it's more than a word or two, the general thought is to go ahead and just include it as an action line. Such as:
FBI Agent Charles pushes his black-rimmed glasses up his nose.
FBI AGENT CHARLES
Where's the rest of this dossier?
Thank you sir.
Perhaps:
FBI AGENT CHARLES
(wearing monkey suit)
Where's the rest of this dossier?
Perhaps:
FBI AGENT CHARLES
(wearing monkey suit)
Where's the rest of this dossier?
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For that I would still make it an action line. If you decide to use parentheticals, I recommend reserving them for two purposes: noting who the character is speaking to if there are multiple characters speaking in one conversation. Example:
TIM, ALEX, and SAM walk down a quiet road.
TIM
I don't care what she said, I still like her as a person.
ALEX
Seriously?
SAM
(to Alex)
Why are you surprised? You don't care about her.
TIM
(to Alex)
Yes, seriously.
(to Sam)
Maybe he does.
And the second would be to denote a tone or minor direction. This is debatable. The professor I learned under did a study in England for one of his Master classes in writing, and they found most actors completely disregard and often miss whatever is notated in the parentheticals. Nonetheless, should you find yourself wanting to use them for this purpose, this is an example:
TIM
(whispers)
I'm not sure how to get out of here.
Now we are completely off topic.
Do either of you have advice on the subject of character descriptions?
Or only the use of parentheticals?
Do either of you have advice on the subject of character descriptions?
Or only the use of parentheticals?
Nothing more to add, you all covered it well. Simply trying to make the point that parentheticals are not the standard place for character description.
I agree.
This is out of my screenplay:
Jeff
(preppy)
Thanks, f**er.
Bottom line from my digression: I would only use character descriptions that are something you can see (then use projection into their personality) from observation, but include select adjectives rather than minute detail.
Shawshank translation: "worn down in a formal suit, concerned."
The screenplay was likely coveted by select famous actors which permitted transcending traditional writing rules.
Then we would have to discuss the mention of props in a screenplay: a cigarette, a tote bag, a manila folder...
I keep description minimal and then attach "character breakdowns" to a movie package. A professional would ask for this rather than want a novelistic screenplay. I made mine from my book and got criticized from long descriptions unless they were montages.
I also keep description minimal to compensate for long speeches in my movies so that the page count is still an estimate of the minutes in the movie.
Totally agree with the parentheses arguments; just wanted to make a point on script readability.
This is out of my screenplay:
Jeff
(preppy)
Thanks, f**er.
Bottom line from my digression: I would only use character descriptions that are something you can see (then use projection into their personality) from observation, but include select adjectives rather than minute detail.
Shawshank translation: "worn down in a formal suit, concerned."
The screenplay was likely coveted by select famous actors which permitted transcending traditional writing rules.
Then we would have to discuss the mention of props in a screenplay: a cigarette, a tote bag, a manila folder...
I keep description minimal and then attach "character breakdowns" to a movie package. A professional would ask for this rather than want a novelistic screenplay. I made mine from my book and got criticized from long descriptions unless they were montages.
I also keep description minimal to compensate for long speeches in my movies so that the page count is still an estimate of the minutes in the movie.
Totally agree with the parentheses arguments; just wanted to make a point on script readability.