Home

Go Back   IndieTalk - Indie Film Forum > Making The Film > Screenwriting

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-08-2011, 02:10 PM   #1
andy15
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Stoke
Posts: 13
Not sure where to take my characters..

Hi Guys,

I've hit a real writers block at the moment, wondering if you could help me.

I'm writing a short comedy (5-7 mins long) about a father and son from poland, who come to england after the mother leaves the family.

The father and son are very similar, and you get the feeling that the father wants the son to succeed in what he failed at (I plan to have a crucial penalty in a football match at the end which the son misses but the father consoles him so it ends on a good note.)

I'm just not sure where to take the story after setting the characters, would love some help.

Thanks!
andy15 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Today   #1A
film guy
Basic Member
 
Posts: 17

 
Old 10-08-2011, 02:57 PM   #2
Indio
Basic Member
 
Indio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 7
Just take it back to the basics and create a list of events for your story that coincide with each step of the story.

Introduction: Who are your characters, establish them in the world they live in and their relationships with each other.

Inciting incident: Something happens to change that status quo that you've just established forcing your main character to make a decision. So in your case this could be the father/son moving to England. Or the father admitting out loud or to himself or to the audience that his son isn't living up to his expectations. Or it could be the son realizing that his father is looking for something in particular out of the son so he goes on a quest to figure out what that is.

Rising and falling action: Show us the struggle your character goes through while trying to solve his problem. Come up with about three scenarios. Maybe the son starts training very hard to be good at football and then is too hard on himself when isn't living up to his father's standards. Maybe the father tries to coax his son into being more interested in football but the son doesn't pay any attention. Things like this. We want to see the main character struggle to eventually get to the next step. And if you established this character well in the introduction then we'll likely want for him to succeed.

Climax: Your main character makes a decision that deals with the issue and creates a new status quo. Sounds like you've already figured out your climax which is the father accepts his son despite his failure in football.

Denouement: The new status quo. The father and son are happy together.

So just attach a scene or two that address those solid storytelling steps and think about how the characters you've created would react in those situations. If you're going for comedy, then having irrational and unconventional reactions to these circumstances (which can be very serious) would result in humor.

Hope that helps.

Good luck.
Indio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2011, 07:18 PM   #3
kinglis
Basic Member
 
kinglis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: :)
Posts: 902
Quote:
Originally Posted by andy15 View Post
Hi Guys,

I've hit a real writers block at the moment, wondering if you could help me.

I'm writing a short comedy (5-7 mins long) about a father and son from poland, who come to england after the mother leaves the family.

The father and son are very similar, and you get the feeling that the father wants the son to succeed in what he failed at (I plan to have a crucial penalty in a football match at the end which the son misses but the father consoles him so it ends on a good note.)

I'm just not sure where to take the story after setting the characters, would love some help.

Thanks!
So... the mother left her child and husband... The father and son were hurt so much, they decided to leave Poland and go to England... and then they play football...
I don't really care about these two

Edit: Learn more about genres

Last edited by kinglis; 10-08-2011 at 07:21 PM.
kinglis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2011, 08:26 PM   #4
brianluce
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Santa Barbara
Posts: 1,566
Find the conflict.
For example, the son blames the father for the mom's abandonment or the father is desperate for a new partner and the son doesn't want mother replaced, or the father is jealous of the son or whatever. Conflict confict conflict.
brianluce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2011, 03:05 PM   #5
andy15
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Stoke
Posts: 13
Thanks guys, that's really helpful. I've changed my story a bit now, do you think you could give me some feedback for it?


Quote:
Dawid and Dominik are introduced, father and son who are very similar-look similar, dress similar. Came to live in England from Poland 8 years ago after wife/mother left them, Dawid (father) coaches son full-time in football, accordion playing, ball-room dancing, cookery and weight-lifting (montage) (montage of father saying “again” after son completes dance, completes 50 lifts, brings out a pasta bake out the oven etc.)



Montage follows with story of how Dominik has been embarrassed by Dawid infront of friends.



Dominik realises his father Dawid needs to find a woman, so he puts an ad in the paper.



He goes through an interview process with all different types of women, but has no luck.



He goes to library (in really odd circumstances he realises the librarian (Wanda) is perfect for his father-need help with this if you can think of anything)



He conducts a wacky and complicated plan to get Dawid and Wanda to meet eachother, and succeeds.



Film ends with Dawid and librarian looking on as Dominik and Wanda’s daughter play accordion, do cookery, complete dance (similar montage to first one)
Thanks
andy15 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2011, 12:16 AM   #6
FantasySciFi
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Indiana (formerly, Las Vegas)
Posts: 1,204
Given that Wanda's daughter and Dominik seem to be in the same boat, it might be useful to have them conspire. They might inadvertently meet because of the ad or from being dance partners. I would have the conspiracy drive the action. This allows you after the abortive efforts to have the serendipitous encounter which brings ultimate success.

Just a quick thought.
FantasySciFi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2011, 06:56 PM   #7
andy15
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Stoke
Posts: 13
Thanks FantasySciFi, I decided not to go with it, but it was a good idea.
andy15 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:11 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


©IndieTalk