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Old 09-29-2011, 10:17 AM   #1
V3N0M93
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Feedback/advice on my first short

Hello, so I have an idea for my first short film that'll run appprox. 35 min. I'm calling it "Nothing is Forever" it's basically about this man who didn't have a good life becuase he mistreated it and is told that he's gonna die, and the man is just filled with regret and wants to go back to fix his life. Then one day he has a heart attack and wakes up in purgatory. He encounters his guardian angel and his guardian angel gives him a second chance. He goes through his life fixing it but then at the very end the guardian angel reappears and asks him if he likes his new and better life. The man responds with, "Yes, I'm so happy" or something to that extent and his guardian angel tells him that he couldn't have it and takes him back to his real life where he's left to basically die


I know this sounds like it would be a feature film or somthing but the scenes are shorter then I actually thought. Please I'd love some feedback and some advice. Thanks everybody.
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Old 09-29-2011, 10:24 AM   #2
dlevanchuk
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It sounds interesting. christmas carol-ish write a script
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Old 09-29-2011, 09:43 PM   #3
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As you write it, a rough rule of thumb is that 1 page = 1 minute when properly formatted. So your 35 minute script shouldn't be more than 35-40 pages long. I mention this because it helps in judging the length of your production.

The story sounds a bit predictable, but that's not necessarily bad depending on how you handle its ending. If possible, you can get more direct feedback by posting the first 5-10 pages. This will allow those on this forum to give suggestions about pacing, structure, format, story, and dialogue issues.
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Old 09-29-2011, 09:51 PM   #4
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Hrm... I would take a hard look at the running time.

It seems like you could pull that story off in a lot less than 35 minutes, and - as a result - have better odds at getting accepted in festivals (if you're planning to do so).

Hope this helps!
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:33 AM   #5
GuerrillaAngel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankLad View Post
Hrm... I would take a hard look at the running time.

It seems like you could pull that story off in a lot less than 35 minutes, and - as a result - have better odds at getting accepted in festivals (if you're planning to do so).

Hope this helps!
This is likely the best advice anyone can give the OP at this point. 35 minute shorts RARELY get screen time. Keeping it under 15 minutes increases a film chances multifold. Under 10 minutes is even better.

Good luck!
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:19 PM   #6
V3N0M93
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Thank you everyone for the feeback. I really appreciate the honest words and help. I'm gonna be taking a look at the story again this weekend and try to figure something out. Oh and my runtime goal is 15 minutes or less.
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Old 10-01-2011, 07:39 AM   #7
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Agreed on the runtime. Anything over 15 or 20 pages and less than 90 pages falls in that no-man's land between a short and a feature.
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Old 10-01-2011, 11:14 AM   #8
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If you look at a lot of the short films that get recognition in the festival/award circuit, they are very short. There aren't any set rules for a good short of course, but an intriguing set-up and an unexpected and interesting pay-off doesn't take that long. For a film festival, it's harder to give a film 35 minutes of show time than it is to give a film 5 minutes of show time.

Good luck though!
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