Home

Go Back   IndieTalk - Indie Film Forum > Making The Film > Screenwriting

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-11-2014, 06:40 PM   #1
rayw
Basic Member
 
rayw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: About a thousand years from now
Posts: 6,621
> Bad Script Competition

Quote:
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread....103#post356103
Quote:
Originally Posted by FantasySciFi View Post
Perhaps we should start a "bad script" competition akin to the "bad writing" competitions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rayw View Post


Oh, wait. I meant:
Alright, I couldn't resist.
There's just so much material to work with it's hard not to slap some greazy screenplay together - even if it's only a few pages in length.
Short shorts are great!

With a little LMGTFY I found a few lists and links of film clichés to work off of.

I certainly don't have any time frames in mind, just... whenever, if ever, you get around to writing a cliché-ridden screenplay will be fine.

And if you wanna go FTW - make a video.
(I got too many irons in the fire as is.
Pounding out a ridiculous screenplay is one thing, making a short film is something entirely else.
I might, butt no promises.)


Code:
1a. Henchmen Are Bad Shots
2a. Everyone’s a Computer Cracker/Hacker
3a. Third person Shooter saves the day
4a. Presumed Dead. Not!
5a. Hero emerges from any beating looking as fresh as a daisy
6a. Hero will need to dive under or through sliding doors.
7a. Lame Disguise to escape detection
8a. The Car Won’t Start
9a. The Gun is out of Bullets just as the moment of truth arrives
10a. I Still Love my ex-Wife

1b. Heroine is a Kook 
2b. Sarcastic Hand Clap
3b. Maniac Stops For A Cup Of Tea, the ego of the killer takes over, and he describes exactly what he’s going to do to the victim…instead of actually getting on with it.
4b. Staring In The Mirror
5b. The Killer Quip
6b. Less Attractive Sidekick 
7b. Lascivious Onlooker when the camera will cut away from the attack and show a pal of the attacker, bloodlust (or just lust) in his eyes, more than likely swigging from a bottle, and grinning cruelly. Especially a mentor.
8b. Staring At The Phone after receiving bad news.
9b . “When I Was A Little Girl” Speech is a lazy screenwriter’s ploy to make us feel empathy, or sympathy, for a character regardless of their personality flaws etc.
10b. The Shock Awakening


1c. Someone trips and falls as a plot device
2c. This is the last job
3c. "You don't know who you're dealing with!"


http://www.kristisiegel.com/cliches.html
before I knew it
without a doubt
in a jiffy
without a hitch
stopped in my tracks
little did I know
goose bumps all over
the time of my life
needless to say
well worth the wait
even to this day
frightened to death
scared out of my wits
waste of time
rushed for time
with only seconds to spare
without a care in the world
it couldn't happen to a nicer _____
a matter of time
lost track of time
seemed to take forever
lasted an eternity
like greased lightning
thought to myself
made a big impression on
thought he/she was hot stuff   
in the nick of time
couldn't catch my breath
for the life of me
without moving a muscle
without a doubt
to tell the truth
couldn't keep my eyes open
at the drop of a hat
cut to the chase
did not have a pleasant bone in his/her body
but to no avail
it was bad enough
like the pot calling the kettle black
got the best of me
put two and two together
to this day
bubble was burst
knows full well
honesty is the best policy
times heals all wounds
next thing I knew
dumb as a rock
bored out of my mind
quiet as a mouse
stopped in my tracks
Many hands make light work. 
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. 
live and learn. 
what goes around comes around. 
every cloud has a silver lining. 
break a leg. 
it's raining cats and dogs. 
break a leg. 
it could be worse. 
time will tell 
all is fair in love and war 
haste makes waste 
life is unfair 
when you have lemons, make lemonade. 
opposites attract. 
A fire station burning down. 
As old as the hills. 


Read more: 
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_some_examples_of_a_cliche#ixzz
rayw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Today   #1A
film guy
Basic Member
 
Posts: 17

 
Old 02-11-2014, 06:49 PM   #2
Birdman
Basic Member
 
Birdman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cold Spring, KY
Posts: 469
Okay, I'm about to lose whatever little respect I may have, but here goes:

Film Facts:

Made in 1998

I grabbed the two other actors from a gun range.

$49 dollar budget.

Done in one take.

It's a real .50BMG pistol.

Yes, ...the table didn't move.

3,100,000 hits ...and I have no idea why.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_XX2lIT1tQ

What do I win???

-Birdman

P.S. I think this falls under "1B" and "1C"

Last edited by Birdman; 02-11-2014 at 07:52 PM.
Birdman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2014, 07:40 PM   #3
rayw
Basic Member
 
rayw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: About a thousand years from now
Posts: 6,621
Very nice.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdman View Post
What do I win???
rayw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2014, 09:26 PM   #4
rayw
Basic Member
 
rayw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: About a thousand years from now
Posts: 6,621
Here's my hat in the ring:

Last edited by rayw; 02-11-2014 at 11:42 PM.
rayw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 05:07 AM   #5
SolidScript
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5
One thing I learnt early on is that bad films can be good because they show you what not to do! lol.Time flies when your having fun watching a good film.If you want to move along in this industry real fast it is good advice to watch bad films.when watching a bad film and before you gets the shits or fall asleep flex your creative muscle and ask why its so bad. Answer those questions probing in your head, you'll learn real fast that way and see it as leveraging time to learn how to be a master screenwriter!

wanna know more visit my website: www.screenplaywritingfordummies.info
SolidScript is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 09:16 AM   #6
rayw
Basic Member
 
rayw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: About a thousand years from now
Posts: 6,621
Quote:
Originally Posted by SolidScript View Post
One thing I learnt early on is that bad films can be good because they show you what not to do! lol... If you want to move along in this industry real fast it is good advice to watch bad films.when watching a bad film and before you gets the shits or fall asleep flex your creative muscle and ask why its so bad.
Watch bad lo/no budget films like these? http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=44510

Resulting in something like this?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFbGDtlaNTQ

Yeah. That's proly a good idea.
rayw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 10:56 AM   #7
Scorer
Basic Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 228
I'll get to work on it. I'm going to make the best bad script ever.
Scorer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 12:48 PM   #8
sfoster
IndieTalk Moderator
 
sfoster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 5,559
Well I've got a character name. Brute Manly.
Now I just need a plot
sfoster is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 08:47 PM   #9
Lucky Hardwood
Basic - Premiere Expired
 
Lucky Hardwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 1,736
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfoster View Post
Well I've got a character name. Brute Manly.
Now I just need a plot
He's a disgraced alcoholic ex-cop turned private eye who takes a job spying on a rich mogul's wife. He falls in love with her and betrays his client. They plot to run off together and she takes the contents of hubby's safe. They run afoul of the mobsters who secretly back the mogul when it is discovered that damning evidence of a plot to destroy the city and overthrow the government in the papers that she took from the safe. Now they must fight an uphill battle against all odds to safe the world as we know it. The mobsters are a front for a new Nazi zombie movement. During the face off in the zombie Nazi mansion, Brute fights his way through a horde of zombies in various states of decomp tearing the arm off of one and beating another to (un)death with it. When Brute gets to the Nazi zombie big boss, he takes out his gun and throws it away, choosing instead to gouge out the leader's eyes with his thumbs and rips his head off. Ultra gratuitous gore fest ensues. In the big confrontation, the husband has your MC and the wife strapped to some ridiculously complicated death machine. Wife asks bad guy why he's "doing all of this" and he reveals that he only married the wife for her connections to move his plot of world domination forward. While he's in a talkative mood, he lays out the entire plot then leaves, assuming the death machine will finish them off. The MC miraculously manages to get free and saves them both just as the death clock counts down to zero. Despite the fact that the husband left ten minutes earlier, Brute and the wife easily catch him in no time. Cue the chase scene. The husband demonstrates professional race car driver skills during the chase but misjudges an easy corner and crashes. He flees on foot and runs into an abandoned warehouse. Brute tells the wife to stay in he car and wait for help. Brute chases the husband into the warehouse. Of course the wife doesn't stay in the car, she goes into the warehouse and gets captured by the husband. The husband has one last doomsday device left, which he wasn't carrying when he ran into the warehouse. He hooks the device up to the wife and waits for Brute to show up. The device is tied into a watch the husband is wearing which monitors his pulse. The husband explains that, if his pulse stops, the device goes off killing the wife. Brute has to decide to save the wife or catch the husband. He chooses the wife. Husband jumps into a boat (did I mention that the warehouse was by the docks?) and takes off. Blake realizes that he can't disarm the device so he puts it on himself (there is no explanation why). He forces the wife to leave to save her. When the signal meter hits zero, the device doesn't go off, its a dud. Blake takes a speed boat that has the key in it for no apparent reason. He again catches the husband. He throws the device onto the husband's boat. The husband raises his gun (which he has not used the whole movie) and aims at Blake. Blake shoots his watch. The device explodes. THE END
Lucky Hardwood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 08:53 PM   #10
sfoster
IndieTalk Moderator
 
sfoster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 5,559
^^ thats great, only thing I would add is during the confrontation where the wife is booby-trapped, the husband should give a 10 minute long expository speech beginning with "you know, we aren't so different, you and I"
sfoster is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 09:16 PM   #11
ChimpPhobiaFilms
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 4,114
I'll give you guys a sneak peek of mine.

---

Quote:


Title: Currently, this script is untitled. RIight now, I ' m going to call it "UNTILTED SCREENPLAY DRAFT 1 FINAL". Perhfects.....

By: Is this where I write my name?

Logline::: There's this dude, and while listening to this popular radio song (preferabbly the one by the dude that wore the weird hat at the Graammys. That dude. Yeah. Anyway... so he's (the dude, not the Grammy guy) is walking when suddenly there's fire effects and buildings start falling (perhpas there can be like a Camoe or something...... (I"M thinking like umm... Rihanna or something. I duuno ANYWAY... soo.... I can't tell you anymore.. it's almost like Fight Club meets Tellitubies. Lots of Tarantino dialogue. Lots. Takes up 2 hours of the movie. I also had this idea that Steven Spielberg directed the movie... udricorests. My first grade teacher tells me that I need to work on present tense and stuff. The whole movie will me... be... no. Ok, so the movie ends with Transformers. More Tarintinto references. Kevin Smith makes an appearance too. Ford and Toyota will provide me for money, Ia and there will be shots lingering on cars for 5minutes every 5 minutes. Eminemem will be i n the movie toooo. Themoivewillbe6hourslong. NAnyway, buy my script>

Additional notes: This movie willl be bubgted at 600 million trillion dolaalra. Tom Hank star as it in a guuy. Untitled name. Brad Pitt, that one guy from Big Bang Theory, and that one scary lady... oh yeah... Nicki Mijagna. How the hell do you write her name?
Additional ntoes: I'm going through an exitensal critis and will jump off of building ifo you do not bi this script. Thank you.

Now I'm going to go sit in the corner of my bathroom cradling a bottle of wine and listening to Whitney Houston, crying myself to sleep. Bye!

So, what do you guys and gals think?
ChimpPhobiaFilms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 11:07 PM   #12
GuerrillaAngel
Basic - Premiere Expired
 
GuerrillaAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 2,101
alarm goes off
(man) brushes teeth
orange juice, toast, coffee
walks to car
starts car
drives
radio
cigarette
checks watch
checks rear view mirror at stop lite
parks on top floor of parking garage
gets out
noise
pulls out gun
(guy behind him) drop your gun
talk
more talk
fuck you
fuck your mother
gunfire
car peels out
(detective in trench coat) what do we have here?
(csi) bullet went through there and came out here
(second detective) any ID?
(csi) Bond, James Bond. UK address.
(second detective) what's he doing out here?
(lieutenant arrives) any witnesses?
(detective) no
(lieutenant) start canvass
(chief of police arrive) witnesses?
(lieutenant) no
(chief) I want to be kept informed, every hour on the hour. Understand?
(police commissioner arrives) witnesses?
(chief) no
(commissioner) I want to be kept informed, every hour on the hour. Understand?

------------------
I'll finish this script for $25.
GuerrillaAngel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 12:00 AM   #13
rayw
Basic Member
 
rayw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: About a thousand years from now
Posts: 6,621
@ Lucky:
In-f#ckin'-credible.
What happens to Brute/Blake on page two of the screenplay?



@ Chimp:
OMG. How do people like this not starve to death or die of exposure?
And we've all run across them.
Legalization of pot. Brilliant social move.



@ GA: LMAO!
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuerrillaAngel View Post
fuck you
fuck your mother
rayw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 02:42 PM   #14
The Tune Peddler
Premiere Member
 
The Tune Peddler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 252
This is a great idea. If it would help one of these bad scripts get made into a short, I'd like to offer my library up for free to anyone who goes ahead and makes one. Just shoot me a message.
The Tune Peddler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 05:18 PM   #15
FantasySciFi
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Indiana (formerly, Las Vegas)
Posts: 1,204
Even in your efforts to be bad writers, you've given more plot and character development than some of the scripts I've read.

Sorry, Lucky, you might have to get a "consider" with that convoluted, albeit cliche ridden, plot.

GA is definitely more on point with some of the stuff that I've had students bring to me. Since most have no background, it gives me a good sense where to start.

Chimp, move away from the keyboard so nobody gets hurt. I did read a script that resembled that--saying who would be good in the roles, what the budget should be, etc. It even had a line like "This is sure to be the next blockbuster and will make millions."

Ray, words cannot describe how good you are at being a bad writer. The spelling, the lack of development, the directing from within the script, the awkward dialogues. It's so bad, it's almost good. Sorry, pal, I'm wavering between "consider" and 'recommend". [PS: You were faking it, right? ]

Sorry, Birdman, I have to say your short made me laugh. I can't give it a "pass". Very cool suits, btw.

Last edited by FantasySciFi; 02-13-2014 at 05:26 PM.
FantasySciFi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


©IndieTalk