Hello,
As a beginner in screenwriting, I have an obvious tendency of writing too much when I don't need to. My question is simply how much do we leave our writing to the reader's common sense? For example I have four examples underneath, my versions and the possible shorter version. I know screenwriting is all about showing, not telling, but do we need to specifically detail what we show?
Example 1:
My version:
Mary walks over to her… rocks her shoulder with her hand… no response… still no response. Mary sheds a tear.
--
A possible shorter version:
Mary walks over to her… rocks her shoulder… there's no response. Mary sheds a tear.
Example 2:
My version:
Chris pulls the block in half with both hands
--
Possible shorter version:
Chris pulls the block in half.
Example 3:
John grabs Chris's shirt with both hands and lifts him up.
--
John grabs Chris's shirt and lifts him up
Example 4
John keeps one hand on Chris's shirt as he turns around and squats, then quickly places both his hands below the back of Chris’s thighs and lifts in a piggyback.
--
John still clutches onto Chris's shirt as he turns and forces Chris in a piggyback by lifting his thighs
(Like to say for the above that Chris is actually injured in a soccer accident, so he can't move.)
Thank you
As a beginner in screenwriting, I have an obvious tendency of writing too much when I don't need to. My question is simply how much do we leave our writing to the reader's common sense? For example I have four examples underneath, my versions and the possible shorter version. I know screenwriting is all about showing, not telling, but do we need to specifically detail what we show?
Example 1:
My version:
Mary walks over to her… rocks her shoulder with her hand… no response… still no response. Mary sheds a tear.
--
A possible shorter version:
Mary walks over to her… rocks her shoulder… there's no response. Mary sheds a tear.
Example 2:
My version:
Chris pulls the block in half with both hands
--
Possible shorter version:
Chris pulls the block in half.
Example 3:
John grabs Chris's shirt with both hands and lifts him up.
--
John grabs Chris's shirt and lifts him up
Example 4
John keeps one hand on Chris's shirt as he turns around and squats, then quickly places both his hands below the back of Chris’s thighs and lifts in a piggyback.
--
John still clutches onto Chris's shirt as he turns and forces Chris in a piggyback by lifting his thighs
(Like to say for the above that Chris is actually injured in a soccer accident, so he can't move.)
Thank you