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Short Film Review

Some Basics Needed

Lombard Corporation said:
We review the short film "BREATHE".

Logline: A ghost story about a girl you can only see when you hold your breath.

http://www.thelombardcorporation.com/short-film-auditions--reviews
Click to expand...

I read the first 15 pages and you do have a story working but the problem is format at this point. Your descriptions read like novel instead of screenplay and it's clear you're not using SP software. MS word is fine as long as the tabs are correct, which you don't have. I suggest read some produced scripts and then revisit the descriptions. There's a lot to this craft and it takes time to learn and turn out a viable script. Good luck. Keep writing!
 
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