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Old 08-27-2018, 01:35 PM   #1
tonikotka
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Hope - Post Apocalyptic Short Film

"By transmitting signals from a radio tower, two survivors of the apocalypse desperately cling to the hope that they are not alone."

This is my biggest project till now, and I would love to hear what people think about it! Critics are more than welcome. This is also my first post here, and I look forward to seeing and learning from all of you.



The project was my exams project, and was shot on a Sony F3.
I'd be happy to answer any questions that may arise.
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Old 08-27-2018, 02:20 PM   #2
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Old 08-27-2018, 07:49 PM   #3
joey1320
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At the 1:38 minute mark the dead body moves his left pinky finger. I noticed it immediately and was expecting the person to either be faking his death to attack the unsuspecting intruder or turn into a zombie. Neither happened so I was surprised by it, considering it was later shown as a corpse.

The dialog between the two characters is rather cold and not one I would expect after being together longer than a few months.

The scenery is really nice. I enjoyed the splendor of the outdoors.

The story, in it's entirety, didn't do it for me. I would expect Ford to have abandoned Luca if this "issue" kept coming up, which is something I imagined had happened before a few times. With that, why stick together?

Not having any background info, other than the time since the event happened, we don't have enough knowledge to care about what Luca is going through.

The final conflict with Ford is unusual since we would need to believe the whole argument, thrown walkie and rustling in the grass/dirt was all done by Luca. Was it?

The static noise after the 26:00 minute mark was extremely loud and distracting.

I enjoyed the film. The cinematography was very pleasing and the score was good (besides the static at the end). Please continue making more.
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Old 08-27-2018, 08:05 PM   #4
tonikotka
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Thank you for your feedback, Joey! I really appreciate it.

Although it is vague throughout the film, yet even sewn into the cinematography (Ford NEVER has the frame by himself, apart from the end), Ford isn't real. I'm assuming you picked that up at the end of the film. We always imagined Ford being the physical embodiment of Luca's negative thoughts, and that Ford would 'take the wheel' when Luca was either lost in thought or asleep. The walkie at the end was indeed turned off by Luca/Ford, thus causing the fight.

The static noise should've been worked more with, in terms of volume and panning. Fully agreed.
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Old 08-27-2018, 08:14 PM   #5
joey1320
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Unfortunately I did not pick up on the dissociative identity disorder experienced by Luca.

Wouldn't having Ford in the scenes next to Luca make it more difficult to determine/guess he's not real?

Last edited by joey1320; 08-27-2018 at 08:48 PM.
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Old 08-27-2018, 08:29 PM   #6
tonikotka
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As the film is right now, the fact that Ford isn't real doesn't come through very well - that is something I agreed with, even though we've tried to hint towards it throughout the film (although mostly through cinematography.)

After the first screening, I had a lot of talks with people and found that about 50% understood that Ford was not real. The 50% that understood it, took the hint at the end when Ford is suddenly gone from Luca's sights, only to reappear by his side without a scram.

I'll take that as a lesson and work further towards nailing my plot twists in the future. Thanks for your input!
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Old 08-27-2018, 08:52 PM   #7
joey1320
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From the fight taking place, to the appearance of Ford next to Luca, the first thing that popped into my head was that Luca was mentally unstable and had a hallucination after Ford threw away the walkie - not that Ford wasn't real.

I guess I'm one of the other 50% 😁
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Old 09-16-2018, 02:49 AM   #8
Dan Pent
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonikotka View Post
"By transmitting signals from a radio tower, two survivors of the apocalypse desperately cling to the hope that they are not alone."

This is my biggest project till now, and I would love to hear what people think about it! Critics are more than welcome."

Hi, Tonikotka. When I read the log line for the film I was immediately hooked. I myself have long been thinking of making a film very similar to yours. In fact, I hoped your film would give me some inspiration. But you've taken a different approach than mine. My character/s will use large CB radios.

One criticism that I would offer is this; the film takes a little too much time to start its story. The long, solemn close-ups of the first character at the beginning act like a roadblock which I, for one, barely got passed. Nothing is happening in those long scenes. There's no story. There's no reason for the audience to get involved. Even the sudden discovery of the hanged body fails to have any effect, because we don't know who he is, what relationship he has to the other character, or what made him hang himself. In short, we don't care about him. How can we? The audience at that point is fairly crying out to you for some background. Instead it gets moody low-light shots of one character, staring blankly. You need some narrative. The characters need to be involved in a story, almost right from the start.

And I'm definitely one of the 50% who didn't get the psychological element of the film.

Hope that's not too harsh.

Last edited by Dan Pent; 09-16-2018 at 05:19 AM.
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:02 AM   #9
tonikotka
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Thanks for your thoughts!

The beginning of the film acts as an introduction to the universe which the story sets itself in - the hanged man is a part of that, showing how the world is. Introducing the 'normal'.

I'm sorry you didn't get the twist - nevertheless, I appreciate your comment!
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Old 09-21-2018, 06:07 AM   #10
richy
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Hi toni, welcome! Good to see ya.

It's a nice film. I love the sub-genre. Looks like you have an excellent career ahead of you. Did the teacher give you an A, I hope?

The actors look great. You did a great job with wardrobe and makeup…something that often seems difficult to achieve for low budget and diy efforts. The acting was less than naturalistic or believable at times, but I would guess you didn't have a lot of time to work on that. But I liked actors.

I did get the twist ending with really no difficulty. And it helps to -make- the film.

Nice work!

Last edited by richy; 09-21-2018 at 06:13 AM.
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Old 09-21-2018, 06:35 PM   #11
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Very well done. The production design and visuals are amazing. Great scenic locations. The music score adds to every scene in a positive intriguing way. The sound and audio superbly captured.
My only two criticism are that I would’ve liked to see a bigger eye-catching opening that I would remember and then the pacing slows so there were times I felt that the conflict wasn’t where it needed to be - for example a lot of the time we spend searching with these two survivors and somehow miraculously always find what we need. The actors fit their roles well but some dialogue was on the nose and there were times dialogue wasn’t even needed. Hope this helps. I enjoyed it though - gave me mad “The Road” vibes.
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Old 09-22-2018, 10:45 AM   #12
tonikotka
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Thank you!

I agreed, some of the acting/dialogue could've been removed/changed, and that's mostly a script issue. I'm still struggling with dialogue when it comes to writing.

Appreciate your comment!
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:19 AM   #13
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I found it easy to understand that luca wasnt real from the point of the fight onwards and that rather than being a post appocolyptic piece it was actually either a mental health or coma piece where he is trapped in his own world with his real life trying to contact him... I dont think its hard to follow at all

I did find some bits slow though, some shots (like standing in the river) go on way to long and dont add much this leave it awkwardly between too long for an average short and too short for a feature, trimming a few minutes off by cutting down the unnessacerily long scenes could make it a pilot or episode though
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