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watch Kickstarter Trailer/Mock Trailer

I put together a 'mock trailer' for a kickstarter campaign i hope to start. i was wondering if anyone has ever done anything like this before and how did it end up for you. Also i am looking for general criticisms and critiques of my trailer. Keep in mind this trailer is really just a trailer to give an overall idea of the plot and feel/mood that i would be going for but none of the footage would actually be used in the final film--i think i heard the Cohens had done something similar. Once i raise the money i would want to spend more time making it look a bit more professional. Anyways, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. http://youtu.be/C69In2VAby0
 
Leaves me wondering if it's a drama or dark comedy.. if the idea is to make it clear what the tone of the film is, then it probably needs work because that's not clear.

Edit could be tightened up a bit, maybe add some film grain to make it look less video-y.

I dunno, if I were going to seek funding for something, I'd probably scrape together the necessary capital to shoot an actual scene or two to use in a campaign video. But I am not a fan of crowd funding. :lol:
 
Yeah, i was going for a dark dramedy lol I really dont think raising the capital is gonna happen for me even for just a scene or two. I am in the military--dont make much--and the area i am stationed in isnt really ripe for the picking when it comes to investors. i am not really sure where i would raise any money for the scenes thats why i think crowd funding is my best bet. i appreciate your critiques though, ill tighten up the trailer and make emphasis on the comedy aspects. Thanks again.
 
Right now you have audio and video cut on the same beat.
If you ll cut a little bit earlier, just as a person finishes her phrase to catch little bit of actors reaction, you ll get a better flow.
Right now you have this:
Video track: --------- ---------- ----------
Audio track: --------- ---------- ----------

This works a bit better:
Video track : --------- ---------- -----------
Audio track : ------------ ---------- --------

An earlier cut to a listening character makes the video edit smoother and not as jerky.
Notice how movies and TV show cut their dialog scenes as characters speak the end of their lines.
 
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As far as audio,
I don't think there is much can be done...
Your mic was too far from actors. If you ll try to raise volume, you ll have too much noise and hiss. Once you ll start removing notice, you ll start digging into voice frequencies and that still will make it sound bad..
My suggestion is to use it as a learning curve and reshoot for kickstarter. But this time you ll have it much much better because you can use your old video as a shot list reference and everything will go much faster! :-D
 
There needed to be more suspenseful music. Sometimes music can hide some of those flaws that exist because of the lack of money/talent.
 
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