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watch Three guys on a sofa

I like the concept and even though it had surprises, which is something key for any comedy, none of them connected to what we experience when we're actually sitting on a couch with two other guys. It was just surprise without any substance so the comedy was watered down.

Also, I think you could have done a lot more in evoking funny problems that writers have when developing a scene. Like, experiment with dialogue that's too "On the line".

Comedy is tough, man. But hey, it wasn't too bad. It just could have been better. Not saying I could have done a better job, though. My jokes are terrible! That's why I stick with drama.
 
I think you could improve the pacing - it feels like it should start out slower and then build to a quick-fire series of the more ridiculous gags, which then maybe get brought to a halt by the 'forgot the punchline' one.
 
Firm1 said:
I like the concept and even though it had surprises, which is something key for any comedy, none of them connected to what we experience when we're actually sitting on a couch with two other guys. It was just surprise without any substance so the comedy was watered down.

Also, I think you could have done a lot more in evoking funny problems that writers have when developing a scene. Like, experiment with dialogue that's too "On the line".

Comedy is tough, man. But hey, it wasn't too bad. It just could have been better. Not saying I could have done a better job, though. My jokes are terrible! That's why I stick with drama.
Click to expand...

Hey, thanks for the feedback. Yeah it was definitely meant to be more of a series of quick fire slightly surrealist visual gags rather than something observational or dialogue based. But yeah I entirely take on board what you are saying about the substance. I might have made it a bit more throwaway and sketchy for a youtube audience.

Thanks again

Will
 
ItDonnedOnMe said:
I think you could improve the pacing - it feels like it should start out slower and then build to a quick-fire series of the more ridiculous gags, which then maybe get brought to a halt by the 'forgot the punchline' one.
Click to expand...

Thanks for giving it a watch. I watched it back after reading this, I agree. It starts to build pace, then slows then speeds up again. It should ramp up throughout the video like you said.
 
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