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Old 09-07-2016, 07:27 AM   #1
conscius
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My new shortfilm, still in progress. All critics welcome

This is a low budget shortfilm I made. Shot with A7S.
I'm still editing, so critic would be very very handy and appreciated


pasw: habit

PS, I made a big mistake to take cine2 gamma (that's a broadcast gamma :O ) that must be cine4
But that's why I have alsmost nog space for grading anymore

Last edited by conscius; 09-08-2016 at 05:07 AM.
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Old Today   #1A
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Old 09-07-2016, 08:20 AM   #2
FreddyLongSongs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conscius View Post
This is a low budget shortfilm I made. Shot with A7S.
I'm still editing, so critic would be very very handy and appreciated


pasw: habit
I'll watch later. Looks great already.
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Old 09-07-2016, 11:59 AM   #3
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That was good! Excellent! Very discouraging though. Lol
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Old 09-07-2016, 01:46 PM   #4
alex ma whitmer
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Dang, nice job!

I think there are a few minor technical issues, but your story feels solid !! I really felt Sam's emotional ride, so please give a kudos to Jolien. Top notch acting. Oscar material.

Love the camera work. The variety of angles and approaches really followed the story - and proof positive that the camera work IS PART OF THE STORY TELLING. Kudos to Joachim.

The cost of dreams, huh?

Beautiful work.


P.S.

As a writer, I felt her pain!! Page - 1, words - 4. Been there.

Last edited by alex ma whitmer; 09-07-2016 at 01:48 PM.
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Old 09-07-2016, 02:31 PM   #5
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Really trippy. I love it!

Glad to see (hear) that dialog recording was well-executed here. Too often, that's an oversite. And the sound design around it is coming along very well.

In the street scene where the fan approaches her for an autograph, her flesh tone is a really ghastly yellow, which is obviously from shooting available light under gas light. The color is way more intense on her closeup than on the wide. Shooting at a very high ISO on DSLR codecs tends to wash out too much information to fix it completely (the guy looks a tad pastel-ish), but if you can bring that color cast back on her closeups just a bit it may flow better.

Likewise when she's giving her award speech near the end, there's a strange yellow cast that only surrounds some of the highlights on her face, predominantly around her mouth. It looks very strange against the red that comes out in her cheeks and nose.

I'm not a fan of relying on any camera's low-light capabilities, and then trying to push it in post, but especially with DSLR codecs that tend to fall apart quickly when there's not enough data in the source. It looks light you lit some places, but went with available light in more.

In the grand scheme, those are slightly smaller details. A few can be fixed or minimized in post, others are lessons for next time. Overall, the story is wonderful and the execution (shots, editing, pacing) are spot-on. The ending is stunning, and makes a very worthy payoff for all the well-crafted jerkiness of the storyline preceding it.
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Old 09-09-2016, 07:34 AM   #6
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Thanks you all so much! And the grading yes . I shot in cine2 gamma. Very stupid, this is a broadcast gamma (must been cine4); So I lost a lot of colors I can't get back.

Thanks you all for the tips, I look into that!
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Old 09-09-2016, 08:08 AM   #7
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Quote:
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And the grading yes . I shot in cine2 gamma. Very stupid, this is a broadcast gamma (must been cine4); So I lost a lot of colors I can't get back.
Shooting "flat" with DSLR is fine if you have tons of light, but once you enter the world of low-light shooting it will wreck your images.

The best you likely can do with the yellow is to dial it back in secondary color correction.
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Old 09-09-2016, 09:25 AM   #8
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Shooting "flat" with DSLR is fine if you have tons of light, but once you enter the world of low-light shooting it will wreck your images.

The best you likely can do with the yellow is to dial it back in secondary color correction.
Yeah, but the big problem is cine2: it's a broadcast. I never shot above 3200. If I had chosen slog2, I probable didn't have this problems. I wanted to choose sgamut and cine4 because I could use low iso's there (with slog the minimum is iso 3200). but because I'm stupid I took cine2 and not 4 .

And yes, I will try that. Thanks you for all the tips!!!
I really appreciate it!
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Old 09-15-2016, 05:34 PM   #9
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Excellent. Well-paced, well directed, good actor, well shot and good music. What I liked more than anything is that your technicals are strong but you have a certain style to your shooting. Looking forward to your next efforts.
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Old 10-10-2016, 07:20 AM   #10
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Excellent. Well-paced, well directed, good actor, well shot and good music. What I liked more than anything is that your technicals are strong but you have a certain style to your shooting. Looking forward to your next efforts.
Thank you so much Gorillaonabike!
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Old 10-10-2016, 01:01 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conscius View Post
This is a low budget shortfilm I made. Shot with A7S.
I'm still editing, so critic would be very very handy and appreciated


pasw: habit

PS, I made a big mistake to take cine2 gamma (that's a broadcast gamma :O ) that must be cine4
But that's why I have alsmost nog space for grading anymore
some nice stuff in there.

I'll only write about the stuff I didnt like so that you know everything else I thought was fine.

1. the awards scene, I dont feel convinced its a tape playback, those lines on the image just look to fake, perhaps research vhs effect (if thats what you were going for, coz thats what I got).

2. the end award scene had some lighting issues, her skin looks weird.

3. I felt halfway through the film lost its edge not quite sure but I didnt get the same intensity from the girl.

4. I disliked the mirror reflection scene in the bathroom, you could see she was moving with her reflection and that lost the magic for me.

5. personal preference, I didnt need to see any nudity, felt like a cheap shot at attracting attention.

6. some shots when cutting to another (for instance when they are both sitting at the pool) you had one wide shot that looked like it came from a music video then it switched to over the shoulder of the guy which wasnt as fancy, felt weird in terms of continuity. (also I would have used a longer focal length to pull that guy in more tight in the frame, it lost its cinematic appeal for me, personal preference)

other than that, I dug it, I loved that you used sound and editing together effectively, the acting was nice (slightly lost towards the end as I mentioned) but again really good, I would have held some shots a bit longer and introduced more erring sound to make it more dramatic, but thats preference and I felt the pacing was pretty good otherwise.

good job, just gotta focus on keeping that style all the way through which for me wasnt consistent.
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Old 03-30-2017, 04:33 AM   #12
conscius
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some nice stuff in there.

I'll only write about the stuff I didnt like so that you know everything else I thought was fine.

1. the awards scene, I dont feel convinced its a tape playback, those lines on the image just look to fake, perhaps research vhs effect (if thats what you were going for, coz thats what I got).

2. the end award scene had some lighting issues, her skin looks weird.

3. I felt halfway through the film lost its edge not quite sure but I didnt get the same intensity from the girl.

4. I disliked the mirror reflection scene in the bathroom, you could see she was moving with her reflection and that lost the magic for me.

5. personal preference, I didnt need to see any nudity, felt like a cheap shot at attracting attention.

6. some shots when cutting to another (for instance when they are both sitting at the pool) you had one wide shot that looked like it came from a music video then it switched to over the shoulder of the guy which wasnt as fancy, felt weird in terms of continuity. (also I would have used a longer focal length to pull that guy in more tight in the frame, it lost its cinematic appeal for me, personal preference)

other than that, I dug it, I loved that you used sound and editing together effectively, the acting was nice (slightly lost towards the end as I mentioned) but again really good, I would have held some shots a bit longer and introduced more erring sound to make it more dramatic, but thats preference and I felt the pacing was pretty good otherwise.

good job, just gotta focus on keeping that style all the way through which for me wasnt consistent.
Hi! sorry for my late reaction! I didn't saw it.

1: I think you right! Thanks for the tip
2: I fixed this in the final edit, thanks.
3: Can you be more specific?
4: How do you mean? At the time of filming there was nog reflection, altough I asked her to do the same handing, yes.
5: Myeah, normally there was more nudity. I though this would work. Maybe i'll try without it
6: i think you right. Will try something else there

Thanks!!
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Old 03-30-2017, 09:49 PM   #13
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I liked it! The only thing distracting at all, was I found the subtitles hard to read cause the letters were just white, so maybe put some black shadow behind them, or something like that .
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Old 08-25-2018, 06:58 AM   #14
conscius
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I liked it! The only thing distracting at all, was I found the subtitles hard to read cause the letters were just white, so maybe put some black shadow behind them, or something like that .
Ow thanks, i didn't think about that. Will do!
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Old 08-25-2018, 09:54 AM   #15
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This is an old thread, but it is never too late for a well meant compliment. So here I go....

Well done! I don't know what it is with the Belgians, but they surely know how to make movies! (Among my favorite directors are Bouli Lanners, les frŤres Dardenne, BenoÓt Delťpine, Gustave Kervern, just to mention a few).

Keep it up, folks!
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