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Anyone want to give me some feedback on a comic book script?

So an artist/filmmaker I've worked with before approached me about writing a comic book for him to illustrate. I've never written a script for someone else (I did some comics when I was in high school, but that was long ago). He's really into noir and German expressionism, and I'm really into ghost stories and urban fantasy, so I wrote something that plays to both of our interests.

I just finished a first draft (pretty rough) and am beginning revisions. It's not a screenplay, but the format isn't too different, and I thought maybe some folks around here might be able to help me polish it into something half decent!

Let me know if anyone is interested and I'll PM a link.
 
I'm interested, (even though I'm working on two feature and two short film screenplays myself!)

In screenplay format about how many pages would you guess your first draft is?
 
much appreciated, everyone! The first draft is 32 pages of comic, 40 pages of .pdf. I just exported whatever Celtx told me the correct format for a comic was, knowing little to nothing about it beforehand!
 
Alright.

Link me, baby!

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What's the meaningful feedback time range on this, BTW?
 
I told the artist I'd have a final draft by the end of the month. But even if you don't get time, feedback is always meaningful and lessons can be applied to the second issue!
 
Well, it's really cool to see the preview book, Josh. Thank you for the copy. You and your partner are making an honest-to-goodness comic book. I'm envious. I think it's just neato. How's the book coming along?
 
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thanks richy! the story is coming along great! I'm almost done with the third issue, and the first arc (8 issues) is pretty well planned out. I'll probably be done writing it by the time the artist finishes the first!

mussonman, pm-ing you the script to the first issue now!
 
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