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Reworking an old project

I had a post-apocalyptic idea for a while now, wrote about 70 pages of something, but wasn't happy with the results.

So, I said fuck it, started over with zombies. I always loved the genre, but never tackled it. Now I always want my zombie flicks to be dark, where no one is safe, so that's how this is written.

I feel like the INT/EXT scene here doesn't work, and maybe should be broken into a few INT and EXT scenes, but you tell me.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1L_a4lqZuvO0v1SRVaslNLiTywIrHqW97
 
You have the injured family stranded. The kids are tied to the car, while the Zombies attack. It ends with daddy being dragged into the forest.

Why not have daddy unconscious during the whole scene?
 
You have the injured family stranded. The kids are tied to the car, while the Zombies attack. It ends with daddy being dragged into the forest.

Why not have daddy unconscious during the whole scene?

Because making the father fail at rescuing them helps his arc. Just after this, the other main character finds Frank and rescues him. Frank immediately runs back to the car to see his zombie kids. From there it flashes forward to day 100 which is present day.
 
I liked the way it was written. Sure, it's a little undisciplined but it has promise.

I think it will play well if you get the camera angled you need and if you have some editing skill... Could be good!
 
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