Very, very slow start. Just about lost me, but I stuck with it.
Lesson #1: deinterlace your footage before you post it on the Internet. The interlace artifacts were distracting. I assume you shot interlaced for broadcast? (Are commercials in the UK really 2:45?!) If you're shooting for Internet distribution, always shoot progressive.
Cutaway angles are all over the place and on both sides of the 180° line. Vertical edges often aren't level. And it looks like a bunch of your shots are at standing eye level, which is dull and flat. Try dropping your tripod down so the lens is level with your shoulder, or even your sternum. How you want to present (highlight, maximize, minimize) the subject and how you want the background and horizon to play should dictate camera height.
Colors are relatively dull... kinda like exposure was off or it just came straight out of the camera with no correction or grade. It just doesn't pop, and for tech stuff it needs to have some zing.
The oval GFX overlay slowly moving across the screen looks very amateurish.
The whole thing moved pretty slowly, and could have been done in half the time.