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Old 05-12-2018, 08:01 PM   #1
rahmed3
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Would you look over my short story

Would you please read and critique just a small story I wrote. It's called "That Damn Interview." It's just something I wrote for fun.


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Rx...0Iyv7zGmg61k3t

Last edited by rahmed3; 05-12-2018 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 05-13-2018, 01:14 AM   #2
MarkTheSecond
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That was pretty good. I find it strange that he left just because they had his resume on file. So I thought of this.Ok, so like after the wreck he’s stressed because he's late and he just got into a fender-bender with this massive dude. He reaches in his into car and, unknowningly, gives him resume instead of insurance papers. He drives off. He has the interview, hands her his insurance papers instead of resume, and, realizing what he did with the resume, leaves from embarrassment.
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Old 05-13-2018, 02:39 AM   #3
Panos
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Great! I like your humor. Just don't forget the - DAY and - NIGHT in the headline and don't use parenthetical, write it in action. Use parenthetical only when the intention is not obvious, which is a very rare case.
I was also thinking about the part when he left the office just because Lindsey had already his resume, but I think it was a clever decision.. . Maybe you could make Lindsay looking at him a bit angry or with a weird smile while she shows to him his resume on her computer..

Last edited by Panos; 05-13-2018 at 02:41 AM.
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