So, this is the first draft of a web series I plan on making (through I don't have a crew yet). Just looking for any suggestions. Note I was getting rushed at the end, so it probably will be changed.
7 Angels
FADE IN:
TIM walks down a cracked sidewalk, hands in the pockets of his coat. It is raining heavily and as the background music begins to sound more and more like rain drops hitting the ground, he slips into an alleyway.
JUMP To TIM'S face
TIM
Sighs
CAMERA stays in position as TIM walks off screen, a shadow appears and then disappears, as if it moved towards TIM.
SLOW CUT
CAMERA follows TIM as walks through the wide alleyway, the only sound being the heavy rain. As he walks, shadows come in and out of frame. Then there is a subtle noise.
JUMP Cut to TIM’S Face
TIM.
Huh?
POV Shot (TIM)
There is nothing besides a dirty alleyway and a street being covered in heavy rain.
DUTCH ANGLE CUT TO ACTION of TIM staring.
TIM turns around and begins walking away from the CAMERA.
CUT to TIM about to exit the alleyway, only his upper body and face in view.
GELLO seemingly poofs into existence in front of TIM, causing him to jump in fright.
CUT to back of GELLO and TIM.
GELLO smiles as TIM begins to get up.
GELLO
Hello handsome.
CUT to TIM beginning to back away in fright.
TIM begins to back up the other end of the alleyway, only to feel someone behind him. He turns around and the CAMERA pans up to show AZAZEL with a eerie smile.
AZAZEL
Scared? Don’t be.
CUT to TIM face as he screams and then a cut to a BIRD EYE view of the alleyway.
AZAZEL and GELLO begin to walk towards TIM, The music begins to get more intense and take an dark tone.
CUT to a full body shot of GELLO walking.
GELLO
Don’t be afra-
GELLO is then kicked by SAVIOR,hooded and face obscure who quickly rushes AZAZEL and swipes at him with her sword. Grunting, AZAEL meets her sword with his own, and they lock.
AZAZEL
Oh, we have a fool do we?
SAVIOR jumps backs to TIM, who is staring in awe. The CAMERA looks up to SAVIOR.
GELLO
(Getting Up and rubbing her face)
Okay, who’s dumb enough to-
With one quick motion, SAVIOR throws away her robes and shows her in golden armor with red cloth lining it and her blonde hair blowing to the left, then settling.
GELLO and AZAZEl.
Shit.
CAMERA cuts to TIM
TIM
Wh...What?
AZAZEl and GELLO charge Savior with swords drawn, sidestepping, SAVIOR swings at at them both, only for them to duck. CAMERA cuts to TIM staring in awe as the swords of swords, fist and flesh are heard and three shadows fight.
FAST SHOT
There is the sound of an arm breaking and SAVIOR comes into view, holding her broken right arm.
AZAZEL
(laughing in glee and then charging Savior)
Nice try, Longa, it was fun.
ACTION SHOT
As AZAZEl charges into Savior, she dodges to the right and draws a knife. With great force, she slashes down. As her feet meet the ground and AZAZEl body slumps, a ball rolls in and out of view behind her.
CUT TO TIM
TIM
Holy shit.
CUT TO GELLO.
GELLO
(beginning to tear up)
AZAZEL! AZAZEL!
She readies her sword, and the music becomes faster pace. She begins to charge, her face full of rage.
GELLO
You bitch!
ACTION SHOT
GELLO slashes at SAVIOR, who blocks with her knife. Her knife is scattered into pieces. With her good arm, SAVIOR grabs GELLO neck and pulls her down then tightens her legs around her body.
SAVIOR
Shut up already.
GELLO screams curses and obscenities and struggles in SAVIOR’s grip, who seems to not care. After a drawn out few minutes, GELLO struggles cease and SAVIOR lets her go.
CUT to back of TIM facing Savior.
TIM
My god.
SAVIOR faces TIM.
SAVIOR
Yeah, say your thanks then leave I have something to finish.
SAVIOR begins to walk for GELLOS blade, but stops and kneels.
CUT TO TIM’s face.
TIM
(with wide eyes)
You...you okay?
SAVIOR then faints from the bloodloss. From a BIRDS EYE VIEW, TIM trys to wake SAVIOR.
TIM
Well, seeing as you're probably wanted for murder now but you saved my life.
TIM lifts SAVIOR up with a grunt..
TIM
I guess I can give a helping hand.
END SCENE.
7 Angels
FADE IN:
TIM walks down a cracked sidewalk, hands in the pockets of his coat. It is raining heavily and as the background music begins to sound more and more like rain drops hitting the ground, he slips into an alleyway.
JUMP To TIM'S face
TIM
Sighs
CAMERA stays in position as TIM walks off screen, a shadow appears and then disappears, as if it moved towards TIM.
SLOW CUT
CAMERA follows TIM as walks through the wide alleyway, the only sound being the heavy rain. As he walks, shadows come in and out of frame. Then there is a subtle noise.
JUMP Cut to TIM’S Face
TIM.
Huh?
POV Shot (TIM)
There is nothing besides a dirty alleyway and a street being covered in heavy rain.
DUTCH ANGLE CUT TO ACTION of TIM staring.
TIM turns around and begins walking away from the CAMERA.
CUT to TIM about to exit the alleyway, only his upper body and face in view.
GELLO seemingly poofs into existence in front of TIM, causing him to jump in fright.
CUT to back of GELLO and TIM.
GELLO smiles as TIM begins to get up.
GELLO
Hello handsome.
CUT to TIM beginning to back away in fright.
TIM begins to back up the other end of the alleyway, only to feel someone behind him. He turns around and the CAMERA pans up to show AZAZEL with a eerie smile.
AZAZEL
Scared? Don’t be.
CUT to TIM face as he screams and then a cut to a BIRD EYE view of the alleyway.
AZAZEL and GELLO begin to walk towards TIM, The music begins to get more intense and take an dark tone.
CUT to a full body shot of GELLO walking.
GELLO
Don’t be afra-
GELLO is then kicked by SAVIOR,hooded and face obscure who quickly rushes AZAZEL and swipes at him with her sword. Grunting, AZAEL meets her sword with his own, and they lock.
AZAZEL
Oh, we have a fool do we?
SAVIOR jumps backs to TIM, who is staring in awe. The CAMERA looks up to SAVIOR.
GELLO
(Getting Up and rubbing her face)
Okay, who’s dumb enough to-
With one quick motion, SAVIOR throws away her robes and shows her in golden armor with red cloth lining it and her blonde hair blowing to the left, then settling.
GELLO and AZAZEl.
Shit.
CAMERA cuts to TIM
TIM
Wh...What?
AZAZEl and GELLO charge Savior with swords drawn, sidestepping, SAVIOR swings at at them both, only for them to duck. CAMERA cuts to TIM staring in awe as the swords of swords, fist and flesh are heard and three shadows fight.
FAST SHOT
There is the sound of an arm breaking and SAVIOR comes into view, holding her broken right arm.
AZAZEL
(laughing in glee and then charging Savior)
Nice try, Longa, it was fun.
ACTION SHOT
As AZAZEl charges into Savior, she dodges to the right and draws a knife. With great force, she slashes down. As her feet meet the ground and AZAZEl body slumps, a ball rolls in and out of view behind her.
CUT TO TIM
TIM
Holy shit.
CUT TO GELLO.
GELLO
(beginning to tear up)
AZAZEL! AZAZEL!
She readies her sword, and the music becomes faster pace. She begins to charge, her face full of rage.
GELLO
You bitch!
ACTION SHOT
GELLO slashes at SAVIOR, who blocks with her knife. Her knife is scattered into pieces. With her good arm, SAVIOR grabs GELLO neck and pulls her down then tightens her legs around her body.
SAVIOR
Shut up already.
GELLO screams curses and obscenities and struggles in SAVIOR’s grip, who seems to not care. After a drawn out few minutes, GELLO struggles cease and SAVIOR lets her go.
CUT to back of TIM facing Savior.
TIM
My god.
SAVIOR faces TIM.
SAVIOR
Yeah, say your thanks then leave I have something to finish.
SAVIOR begins to walk for GELLOS blade, but stops and kneels.
CUT TO TIM’s face.
TIM
(with wide eyes)
You...you okay?
SAVIOR then faints from the bloodloss. From a BIRDS EYE VIEW, TIM trys to wake SAVIOR.
TIM
Well, seeing as you're probably wanted for murder now but you saved my life.
TIM lifts SAVIOR up with a grunt..
TIM
I guess I can give a helping hand.
END SCENE.
People like him are the future; leave him be.