Complex Script Format Problem!

Panos · May 7, 2015

Hello,

I have a problem with a part of my script and I couldn't find the answer yet:

I have a script that there is a woman narrating. The way she narrates is this:

She is sitting in home and narrates to Ben:

-She narrates one flashback of a previous scene of the script. (we see this previous scene)

-Then she narrates one flashback of her life. (we see this scene)

-She narrates another flashback of a previous scene of the script. (we see this previous scene)

-Then she narrates another flashback of her life. (we see this scene)

-.... 7-8 times

The flashbacks of her life of course have not been written in the script before she narrates them.

Now, when it's time to write the flashback of her life I'll write: "slugline - flashback", but what should I write when she finish the flashback narration considering that the next scene is a flashback of a previous scene of the script?

Also, how I write a flashback of a previous scene that has already been written in the script?

And generally is there any way to write tha complex narration in a way to be very clear?

I want to make the format of the scrip perfectly right according to the format standards that exist today!

Please help me if you know!

Kingda Ka · May 8, 2015

I'm doing a sci-fi TV series that jumps around a lot due to time travel, etc. What I do is put the unexpected time behind the scene heading

EXT. PSYCHE WARD PARKING LOT - NIGHT (4 Years Earlier)

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY (Present Day)

Also, when I'm flirting with reality, I don't just use CUTAWAY, I'll put REALITY CHECK so the crew is clear which scene is reality (no SFX or CGI) and which one they can hot rod out.

EXT. PSYCHE WARD PARKING LOT - NIGHT (4 Years Earlier)

MYSTERY GIRL continues to float upwards into air.

PARKING LOT - REALITY CHECK

The Villain checks his watch, impatiently. Looks around, sees nothing.

RETURN TO SCENE

MYSTERY GIRL explodes into Rapture.

FantasySciFi · May 8, 2015

Panos said:
Hello,
I have a problem with a part of my script and I couldn't find the answer yet:
I have a script that there is a woman narrating. The way she narrates is this:
She is sitting in home and narrates to Ben:
-She narrates one flashback of a previous scene of the script. (we see this previous scene)
-Then she narrates one flashback of her life. (we see this scene)
-She narrates another flashback of a previous scene of the script. (we see this previous scene)
-Then she narrates another flashback of her life. (we see this scene)
-.... 7-8 times
The flashbacks of her life of course have not been written in the script before she narrates them.

Now, when it's time to write the flashback of her life I'll write: "slugline - flashback", but what should I write when she finish the flashback narration considering that the next scene is a flashback of a previous scene of the script?

Also, how I write a flashback of a previous scene that has already been written in the script?
And generally is there any way to write tha complex narration in a way to be very clear?
I want to make the format of the scrip perfectly right according to the format standards that exist today!
Please help me if you know!

Below is the typical approach. If the flashback is just to one scene, you can put (FLASHBACK) after the slugline. If you are flashing back to a sequence of scenes, you bracket it with FLASHBACK: and END FLASHBACK:.

Because the home may change appearance, as a set design issue, I always put the date into the slugline. This also allows you to re-reference a previous location in other flashbacks. CeltX and other scheduling software can sort that way. Now to clarify, what Kingda Ka did is fine. The date in parentheses AFTER the time (DAY/NIGHT) is useful for tracking relative story time. It's redundant to put it both places. My personal preference is to keep it inside the slugline as an AD.

The other piece is CONTINUOUS. It is used for location, not time. If you use it, you want to mark off where the scenes are using abbreviated locations like KITCHEN: or LIVING ROOM:. Because I code these as locations in Celtx, I try to include the info needed. The 1910 Kitchen will probably look different from a 1990 kitchen. You don't need to do that.

If you want to overlay a voice, you use a voiceover or V.O. after the characters name. Below is an example that combines all of the elements.

Code:

INT.  GRANDMA'S HOME (1985) - DAY

Ticking of the clock.

GRANNY (70s) sits looking out the window.  She sees a car 
pull up.

A BEN (8-10) jumps from the car and goes running up.  She
smiles.

She turns and wait as feet thunder up the steps.

                     GRANNY
      I was waiting for you.

Ben appears a big grin on his face.  A pause at the frame as
he runs over and hugs her.

As he steps back, she holds out a book.  Ben takes it and
holds the treasure, absorbing its weight and texture.

                    BEN
       For me?

                    GRANNY
       Just like when I was your age.

INT.  GEORGE LOVELAND'S HOUSE (1910) - DAY (FLASHBACK)

A YOUNG GRANNY (8-10) stands watching the back of a large
man working.  She has a bridled patience that erupts in a small
cough.

                     GRANNY (V.O.)
        It was my birthday and I was visiting my
        Uncle George.

GEORGE (60s), a gruff man turns.  His whiskered face peers 
down through small wire rimmed glasses.  There's a twinkle.

                     GEORGE
         Oh, I didn't hear you come in.

....

INT.  GRANDMA'S HOME (1985) - DAY

                     BEN
         Wow, it belonged to a pirate?!

                     GRANNY
         Not just any pirate -

                                            FLASHBACK:

INT.  GRANDMA'S BARN (1910) - DAY  

Young Granny is curled up on a hay pile, flipping through the
pages when

an old parchment slips out.

She picks it up and sees a map.

                     GRANNY (V.O.)
          Blackbeard himself!

She studies it, her eyes grow wide and she jumps to her feet.

                      YOUNG GRANNY
          Dad!  Henry!

She dashes out.

EXT.  GRANNY'S FARM (1910) - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

She runs from the barn past the pig pen.  

The chickens scatter as she heads to the house.

PORCH 1910:

She clamors up the steps and throws open the door.

INT.  GRANDMA'S HOME (1910) - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

The midwestern farm home had its strong vertical blue walls
with its white trim.  The light filtering in through linen curtains.
The stairs lead up, ahead the kitchen and to the right the living
room.  A grandfather clock ticks at the foot of the stairs.

ENTRY 1910:

                   YOUNG GRANNY
        Dad!  There's a treasure map!

She pauses to catch her breath before dashing to the kitchen.

KITCHEN 1910:

                    YOUNG GRANNY
        Henry?  Dad?

Her shoulders heave as she casts about and dashes back to the
stairwell.

END FLASHBACK:
        
INT.  GRANDMA'S HOME (1985) - DAY

Ben sits at her feet, studying the book.  She pulls out a small
drawer from the table.  She pulls out a folded parchment and
holds it out.

Ben's mouth oh's as his hand reaches out and gingerly takes
it.

                     BEN
        Is this ...?

She nods.

                     BEN
        Whoa!  (beat)  Did you ever go
        looking for the treasure?

                                                            FLASHBACK:

EXT.  LOVELAND'S FARM (1919) - DAY

The sun is blistering.  In the fields several farmhands plant the
crops.

TEEN GRANNY (19) walks slowly towards the house watching.
Her eyes are focused on one particular farmhand, 

ROGER DENNY (22-23), dark haired and laboring in his white
shirt.  He pauses to wipe his brow.  

He catches a glance of her and smiles.  The sweat drenched
shirt reveals his strong contours.  

She has paused, draws herself attention and hurries on.

                      GRANNY (V.O.)
       I wanted to talk to my uncle.  He never
       said much about the book.

....
END FLASHBACK:
...

Panos · May 8, 2015

FantasySciFi
Many information! Thank you! But there isn't in your script any flashback of a scene that has already been written somewhere for example at your first pages.
Lets assume that Ben visits his Grandma every year and at your second page you have a scene that Ben visits his Grandma at 1984 (one year before) and lets assume that this year Ben had a broken leg.:

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1984) - DAY

GRANNY sits looking out the window. She sees a car
pull up.

Ben's parents help Ben get out of the car and walk to the Granny's house.

Now if we want to add this scene as a flashback how do we add it considering that it is a scene that have been already written somewhere in the beginning of your script?

Do we write: REPEAT - INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1984) - DAY or what?

For example we want to make the Granny getting a quick remembering of the last year's Ben's situation right exactly when she sees a car pull up.:

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1985) - DAY

Ticking of the clock.

GRANNY (70s) sits looking out the window. She sees a car
pull up.

(EXACTLY HERE WE WANT THE FLASHBACK OF THE: INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1984) - DAY)

A BEN (8-10) jumps from the car and goes running up. She
smiles.

She turns and wait as feet thunder up the steps.

GRANNY
I was waiting for you.

FantasySciFi · May 9, 2015

Be very careful to not overuse flashbacks. That is a very bad habit of new writers. Especially if you want to sell the script, too many flashbacks read as poor writing to many readers and producers at studios. Why?
1. Flashbacks are often expository tools. Lazy writers will use them rather than creating good narrative.
2. Flashbacks require lots of additional shots and props. It drives up the production expense.
3. Flashbacks keep pulling the audience out of the main story. It's very distracting. It works for a novel, not for a movie.
4. You run a fine line of directing from within the script which many directors dislike. It's their job to visually tell the story. Telling them which flashbacks to use routinely steps on their toes.

So unless you are making this movie yourself, I would seriously encourage you to evaluate how important each flashback is before including it.

To answer your question, your script should be visually describing what the audience sees. To keep my script clean, I would use the minimum description.

Code:

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1984) - DAY

GRANNY sits looking out the window. She sees a car
pull up.

Ben's parents help Ben get out of the car.  He wears a cast and 
walks to the Granny's porch.

...

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1985) - DAY

Ticking of the clock.

GRANNY (70s) sits looking out the window. She sees a car
pull up.

[COLOR="Navy"][B][I]She recalls the time he was in his cast when -[/I][/B][/COLOR]

the car door opens and Ben jumps out and races to the door. 

She smiles, turns and waits as feet thunder up the steps.

                      GRANNY
      I was waiting for you.

This is non-directive. 'Recalls' is a flashback keyword. This gives the director the freedom how they want to interpret that 'recalls'. The director may elect to just have the actor portray the memory rather than show it on screen for any number of reasons--constraints of budget, time edit, cinematography (difficult to match color, lighting for a shift), etc.

A very important lesson is to not become attached to your story. Once you sell it, it is no longer yours. There will be many changes made. Sometimes so much so it won't resemble your original.

Now there will be some readers and pros who will call you on this. The first rule of screenwriting is to describe what the audience sees. Some purists will insist that you copy the exact flashback into that area of the script rather than refer to it. So if you are making many "recalls X" statements throughout your script, you will be flagged. If you want to be "pure" you do exactly as I described previously.

Code:

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1984) - DAY

GRANNY sits looking out the window. She sees a car
pull up.

Ben's parents help Ben get out of the car.  He wears a cast and 
walks to the Granny's porch.

...

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1985) - DAY

Ticking of the clock.

GRANNY (70s) sits looking out the window. She sees a car
pull up.

                                            FLASHBACK:

INT. GRANDMA'S HOME (1984) - DAY

Ben's parents help Ben get out of the car.  He wears a cast and 
walks to the Granny's porch.

END FLASHBACK:

the car door opens and Ben jumps out and races to the door. 

She smiles, turns and waits as feet thunder up the steps.

                      GRANNY
      I was waiting for you. 
...

Panos · May 10, 2015

I'm sorry that I keep analyzing my question but I see that you know many things on script formatting!
In my script she is not exactly recalls a scene.

There are flashbacks only at the end when she is revealing a secrete and the viewer sees again some weird scenes and understands slowly why these scenes existed and what exactly was happening.

To understand it thing about The 6th Sense. At the end when he realizes that he is dead he recalls some weird scenes and understands why they were happening: the locked door, talking to his wife and she didn't answer... These repeated scenes are not exactly the same scenes that played before in the script but there are added some new elements.

In my script is happening something similar with 2 differences: The repeated scenes are exactly the same and she does not recall them, the scenes are showing to the viewers during her narration to a doctor.

I saw the script of the 6th Sense and M. Night Shyamalan uses a SLAM CUT transition when it is to repeat these scenes. And then a FLASHBACK as you said:

PHP:

                 MALCOLM 
            (like he's falling 
             down a deep hole) 
        No... 

                            SLAM CUT: 

    FLASHBACK:  INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT 

    VIOLENT GUN SHOTS RING THROUGH THE BEDROOM. 

    Anna rushes across the room to a crumpled Malcolm laying on the 
    floor.  Malcolm's hands are clutched at his side.

Do you know something about this SLAM CUT? Is this any direction that an already played scene is following?

I think I'll use your second advise and write it as a flashback! Thank you for the help!

Panos · May 10, 2015

Kingda Ka said:
I'm doing a sci-fi TV series that jumps around a lot due to time travel, etc. What I do is put the unexpected time behind the scene heading

EXT. PSYCHE WARD PARKING LOT - NIGHT (4 Years Earlier)

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY (Present Day)

Also, when I'm flirting with reality, I don't just use CUTAWAY, I'll put REALITY CHECK so the crew is clear which scene is reality (no SFX or CGI) and which one they can hot rod out.

EXT. PSYCHE WARD PARKING LOT - NIGHT (4 Years Earlier)

MYSTERY GIRL continues to float upwards into air.

PARKING LOT - REALITY CHECK

The Villain checks his watch, impatiently. Looks around, sees nothing.

RETURN TO SCENE

MYSTERY GIRL explodes into Rapture.

Kingda Ka
Do you use the REALITY CHECK to show that the scene is taking place in real life?
If I want to do a flashback of a scene that happened in the imagination of the patient for example, what should I use instead of REALITY CHECK?