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watch The sad tale of Squid Boy

W

will_mcdaniel

Hello again guys,

I've got a new little video to show you. As ever I'd be grateful to any constructive criticism or feedback anyone would be willing to give me on it.

It's supposed to be a comedy mockumentary following a day in the life of a guy who has grown a squid tentacle in place of his regular arm.

It's my first attempt at this genre and I personally am pretty happy with it, but of course I'm not the most impartial of critics.

Thanks in advance for watching

Cheers

Will

https://youtu.be/TZn1bDYjJgo
 
I enjoyed it. I did feel the pacing was a little fast. Would have like to see some candid shots. You know, the "you-don't-know-your-being-filmed" shot.

The comedy, and the delivery were pretty good.
 
Murdock said:
I enjoyed it. I did feel the pacing was a little fast. Would have like to see some candid shots. You know, the "you-don't-know-your-being-filmed" shot.

The comedy, and the delivery were pretty good.
Click to expand...

Ok cool, So you felt it was a little rushed through? Yeah the candid kind of shots are useful for the whole fake interview style.

Thanks for giving it a watch.
 
Hi Will, great potential with this one.
Firstly, if you were to expand on this, I think it would really benefit the short if you were to either get some flash-back snap-shot photos of some of the embarrassing things this guy is talking about, or to even film actual live scenes of these events, perhaps in a comical and exaggerated way. Or even further than that, you could make the flash-back moments stop-motion animated with like yarn, felt, or paper. It would give it a really quirky vibe, and it would help diversify the visuals.

For the video as I see it now, the only two things that bother me a bit are that the interview portions with the kid on the couch seem a bit too "all-in-focus." There's not enough of a separation between him and his background. The rooms he's filmed in also feel a tad bare. But I can understand that that house is likely very bare on the walls, so it might take some doing to put a painting or a poster or two up there.

The other thing though, was the color grade. I'm assuming you haven't done one to this yet. But it seems to look rather flat and evenly lit, which is a good thing in this case, but there also isn't much of a visual identity with the colors and the contrast that's present. It might be good to experiment around with a few color grading styles and different mid-tone and shadow hues to see what it does to the mood or the personality of the piece.

Also, I feel obligated to mention that this premise is extremely similar to an episode of a Disney cartoon called Star VS The Forces of Evil. So I'm not sure if your video might have been based on that, or if you just happened to come up with a similiar concept. I seem to recall seeing squid arms having been a a thing in artwork and short horror stories in the past, but I can't recall any off hand. It feels like one of those collective phobias that everyone probably has.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V09_AsVZq9k
 
Last edited:
FilmmakerJ said:
Hi Will, great potential with this one.
Firstly, if you were to expand on this, I think it would really benefit the short if you were to either get some flash-back snap-shot photos of some of the embarrassing things this guy is talking about, or to even film actual live scenes of these events, perhaps in a comical and exaggerated way. Or even further than that, you could make the flash-back moments stop-motion animated with like yarn, felt, or paper. It would give it a really quirky vibe, and it would help diversify the visuals.

For the video as I see it now, the only two things that bother me a bit are that the interview portions with the kid on the couch seem a bit too "all-in-focus." There's not enough of a separation between him and his background. The rooms he's filmed in also feel a tad bare. But I can understand that that house is likely very bare on the walls, so it might take some doing to put a painting or a poster or two up there.

The other thing though, was the color grade. I'm assuming you haven't done one to this yet. But it seems to look rather flat and evenly lit, which is a good thing in this case, but there also isn't much of a visual identity with the colors and the contrast that's present. It might be good to experiment around with a few color grading styles and different mid-tone and shadow hues to see what it does to the mood or the personality of the piece.

Also, I feel obligated to mention that this premise is extremely similar to an episode of a Disney cartoon called Star VS The Forces of Evil. So I'm not sure if your video might have been based on that, or if you just happened to come up with a similiar concept. I seem to recall seeing squid arms having been a a thing in artwork and short horror stories in the past, but I can't recall any off hand. It feels like one of those collective phobias that everyone probably has.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V09_AsVZq9k
Click to expand...

DAMN! I genuinely hadn't seen that episode or show, just goes to show that no idea is original anymore! And there I was thinking I'd thought of something new!

I really like the idea of the paper, yarn or felt stop motion sequences actually to create some flash backs of embarrassing incidents. That could be a really nice touch. I suppose the stop motion would also link in with the very brief element I used for the enchanted squid at the beginning.

I definitely take your criticism regarding the scene dressing and colour grading. The room I filmed the interviews in is quite bare and minimalistic so it could have done with some dressing. That's something I'll make sure I do in the future.

The colour grading is something I'm not overly experienced in, I did give it a subtle grade to try and achieve a natural look but in the process I've obviously made it a bit flat and lost a lot of the contrast. But I'll definitely play around and try and arrive on something that's a bit more dynamic.

Thats so much for your feedback, really appreciate it.
 
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