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3 min short idea [B]Advice[/B]?

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plnmbdt801

Question [B]Advice[/B]?

Hello all, I am new to this site as well as film making. This seems to be a great site for independent film makers, so i am happy to have found it, now i am hopping i can get a little input on developing a short film idea for class.

The project to write and produce a 3 min short on a students budget which is nothing, there need to be a beginning, middle and end.

My idea seems complex to my but i would like to simplify it and still get my story through.

It begins with a young man dreaming, in his dream he is a wealthy man and living "the dream" and has an extreme event occur only to wake up and realize it was a dream, as he awakes he is in a daze, Once the daze has passed he realizes he is poor and grabs his boxing equipment and runs out the door to train in hope of attaining his dream.

So my question is how can i make this story more interesting and with some pop and work in three minutes? I want to get the point across that boxing plays a big roll in his life.
Any help will be greatly appreciated.
 
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That sounds more like a 30-second Nike commercial to me. To flesh this out to 3-minutes, I think you need more. Specifically, what is the obstacle that needs to be overcome? If training is the solution to his problems, what is the obstacle that he must overcome, in order to train?

In my opinion, you should keep the dream-sequence brief -- maybe 15 seconds. He's abruptly woken-up by brother/mom/friend to go to school or do something else. And then quickly, obstacle presents itself -- something is keeping him from training. It could be emotional/financial/family-duties, the possibilities are endless. But by the end of the film he needs to overcome said obstacle, grab his gloves and start running.
 
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Thank you for the idea, i was thinking something along the lines of education playing a roll, but with 3 mins it just didn't seem like enough time. This is going to be my first real piece and i just feel so blank when it come to putting the idea on a story board. Any Help is much appreciated.
 
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You could also first show a struggling poor man who has a dream where he's rich. That gets him thinking what he would have to do to become rich in real life. The following night he has a new dream where he wins a fight and get plenty of cash for it. When he wakes up he starts working out.
 
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instead of rich, make him a well dressed agent... put in some action that captures people right away... have him followed, a chase, a fight... should take a good 1-2 minutes easily... then have him wake up, and start chasing his dream of becoming a prize fighter...
 
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Maybe it should be a cross-roads type movie. Have a 15 second dream sequence of him being a famous guy walking down a red carpet or something. Then you can have him wake up and show shots of him in the beginning training really hard but pretty much neglecting everything else in his life, such as friends and family. Its like he's driven to madness just to reach the top. You can even have him brush off this one cute grocery clerk over and over again so he can focus on his training.

That's when he can have the same dream again, only this time it continues on to show him getting shot by someone in the crowed. He wakes up sweating. Then, we show him train some more and then he's at the grocery store again. This time he has another opportunity to ask her out and for some reason because of the dream he had, he felt compelled to talk to her. That's when you can end it with a dual montage with one showing a sequence of events of what happens when he doesn't ask her out and continues training and the other showing a sequence of events of what happens when he asks her out. With the training one, you can have him become famous and then get shot at the end and with the other alternate timeline, you can have him not become a boxer and live a modest and happy life with that grocery clerk.
 
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When working with a short limit of time, a great idea is to let the audience think of what happens next. Sort of like a teaser video, but with no continuation. As said before, keep the dream short. There are no important events that need to be shown except for the fact that he is rich. If I were doing this, I would end it before he is about to ascend a great flight of stairs, or begin rigorous training.
 
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Hey, thanks a lot for the help, you have all given me some good ideas, if you have any other suggestions send them my way. I will send what it's looking like once it is in script. Any good sites or script programs for TV style script?
 
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For a beginner filmmaker it's not bad.

The first thing I noticed was the music. It's always good to dial back the music when there is dialogue going on as it can be distracting. Also, the music all seems to be John Lennon/The Beatles. It works at the end of the film, but the songs in the beginning/middle did not compliment the story.

The only other thing I noticed (I only watched once) was that the line of action/180 degree rule was broken at one point during the chase (at the end, I think). If you don't know what this is, look into it.

Well done!
 
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