How do I get these two to work together peacefully?

H

harmonica44

I was an actress short, when casting a short film so my fiance said she would do it. I decided to cast her cause I didn't want to blow my chance of not getting it made.

However, she really has a problem with the DP. She said the DP was trying to flirt with me. I am so preoccupied and tired on getting the project made, that if she did, I really didn't notice.

But now she doesn't want to work with the DP, and really resents her. She keeps constantly asking me to replace her, or she doesn't think she can do this... but I cannot find a new DP, nor do I need my fiance making production more difficult since I got enough to concentrate on.

Even if it's disrespectful to work with the DP, I think she should save any resentment, for after the project is done, cause right now it's about the project, or at least that's what I tell myself to get it done.

What do you think? I guess it's more of a personal question too, but as director/producer, I need to get the crew and cast under control, and get them to do their jobs on set, and not be emotionally distracted. What should I do?

Thanks.
 
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I think you should tell your fiance that you haven't even noticed the flirting because you're too into this project.

State that after this project you will not hire her again, but for the necessity of getting this project done without any problems, you will keep her as the DP, but will keep your distance and only discuss job related subjects with her.

Be sure to tell your fiance that there is nothing she needs to worry about. Assuming there is nothing she needs to worry about lol.
 
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Tell her that flirting is an absolutely normal reaction to your awesomeness, and that if she has a problem with this, then maybe she should start putting potassium bromide in the crew's refreshments.
 
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Sounds like jealousy is getting in the way of your project. That's a result of your fiance's insecurity. So try to make her feel more secure about you two (be more affectionate, mention how excited you are about marrying her, etc.) and she should ease off. Good luck!
 
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A.D. said:
Tell her that flirting is an absolutely normal reaction to your awesomeness, and that if she has a problem with this, then maybe she should start putting potassium bromide in the crew's refreshments.
Click to expand...


YOURE-A-LEGEND-874ngs.jpg
 
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First off, congrats on starting to get a short off the ground!

I recommend you talk to fiancé and try to convince her (again), but if there is still tension and hostility, you either find a new DP or find a new actress.
 
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Well, obviously it was a bad idea to cast your fiancee in the first place - it's hard enough getting a project done without having the personal drama of a relationship in the middle of it. But since that train's already left the station...

Finding a new DP at this point is just kicking the can down the road a bit. You really should find a different actress for the role in the film. This will likely further enrage your fiancee, which will ultimately improve the situation by freeing you up to find another person for that role as well. If she can't handle someone on the crew flirting with you it doesn't bode well for the long-term viability of your relationship. If you truly weren't aware of the flirting and weren't reciprocating/encouraging it then she's got some serious trust/insecurity issues which mean she's probably not ready for the relationship. If you were participating in the flirting, or otherwise encouraging it knowing that it bothered her, then maybe you're not ready for the relationship. Either way, you've got some issues to work out that really have nothing to do with the film you're trying to make.
 
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only one thing you can do: be honest. you want this short done. you dont have the ability to replace either the fiance or the dp? then you have to sit down with your fiance and simply ask if she trusts you and wants you to succeed. if she does then she will let go of her jealousy and help you finish the project. if she doesnt then maybe she isnt the woman you thought she was.
 
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As IDOM suggested, it could imply relationship issues. To be a little less condemning, feelings of jealousy are natural, but if you've done nothing to respond to flirting and she really does trust you, then a rational part of her override that.

Sit her down, explain you don't notice the flirting, and there shouldn't be an issue if she doesn't trust you. Explain you need to get this film done, and that you also love her - to have to choose between the two is unfair and speaks to larger relationship problems. Explain that it's fucking a lot of people around to try and rehire, and the most fair option for everyone is to just finish the project-and if there is a legitimate issue with the DP, not work with her again. If not, then you have to either accept an irrational, jealous voice in your life, or decide that film is more important to you. But again, I don't think you should have to chose. A healthy relationship should find a good compromise. Unless you are flirting back, then she's done little wrong :P
 
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have you set a date for the wedding? If not, you are not "officially" affianced to one another and the "understanding" may be broken without any violation of social norms of decency.

In other words, she deals or she walks.. aint nobody at the alter yet..
 
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If she feels she can't trust you when she is on the set with you, how will she act when she isn't there. There are definitely problems in your future unless you can resolve this.
 
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Well I will talk to her again. Now she is furious cause I bought food for the DP, cause I get food for the crew of course, since they are working for no pay and all. Even if they were working for pay, I would still feed them.

However she is frustrated, and says that me spending food money on her, is a dishonor to our relationship, and now things are even harder I guess. I will talk to her again.
 
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lol, H44 is like a strange mirror for all of us to ponder..

is there any negative film situation that he has NOT experienced, I don't think so!

We really need to see "Harmonica44, the MOVIE!"
 
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I know someone whose girlfriend has a problem every time he works with women. It really limits his ability to work. I wish there was an easy solution, but there is no way to make two people get along. Your production is bound to suffer if you try to force the situation. This is why I avoid working with friends not into film. It can make things awkward.
 
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