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First Script - page [post'em if you got'em!]

A page from the first feature script I ever wrote, back in 1994? Original title was Jack in the Box, is now being optioned under the title SEX BOMB DEATH RIDE.

Wuz going for over-the-top Tarantino and failing big time. Terrible formatting with completely novice and chunky action line descriptions, but the bit at the bottom might offer a chuckle or two. :lol::huh: I'd love to see that on film someday.

sbdr-p37.jpg

Feel free to post something you wrote that you're not particularly proud of but secretly want to see on screen!
:D
 
Hey, I don't think there's enough dialog to judge whether it's horrendous or not, seems OK to me, but if it were being shot the director may just cut the lines on set or in editing. Depends on how critical they are to the story.

Your action lines are short and to-the-point, decent flow. Probably don't need to CAP the names, unless it's the first time you're introducing them. Maybe that's a personal preference.

Cheers!
 
Hahaha that sex scene is freaking priceless!! Reminds me of some weird British movie (Last Minute, snatch) as the guy tells tr story about his ex gf, a there are quick cuts on showing the story..
Love it!!
 
What were you smoking Flicker? That's pretty funny though :P

And Fernando, HOW is Jon still alive?! Is he some sort of super human or something? I must know!

I'll totally post a page from my first script in a sec, it's pretty cool to see everyone's 'early work'.
 
A good 10-15 years ago I wrote a 90 page Legend of Zelda fanfilm script. That may have been the point when I realized that being a musician was a better idea for me than being a writer. No power in the 'verse will make me dig it out, but at least I'll admit to having done it now ;)
 
I was going to post a page from my first, written in 2001, but it's too painfully horrible. There's nothing good in there, not even anything that's hilariously awful. It's all just very, very sad...
 
Okay, took some digging through the archives, but found something...

Not my first script -- that would be a short, handwritten on lined paper, circa 1978. But this is from my first feature script in proper format, circa 1985. Rather awful, so consider yourself warned:

newao8.jpg
 
Great thread!!

I've only been writing scripts a couple years, so nothing from too far back.

First one was HULLABALOO, wherein corrupt, coke-snorting, ass-kicking New Orleans policewoman Gabriel (Gabe) LeRoux goes up against an old nemesis. Wooooo....


Hullaballo.jpg
 
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