All of us in a strange way are narcissistic and selfish and we don’t even know it. The only reason why we’re not all classified as such is simply because most of us are doing it in a way that benefits others. Literally, the only difference between a narcissist and a selfless individual is that one focuses on themselves and the other focuses on others in order to produce the same results; perceived validation of one’s self worth.
A narcissist will delude themselves into thinking they’re the greatest shit since sliced bread and only focus on themselves because it gives them a reason to love themselves. And a selfless individual will focus on others so that others will love them and thus, give them a reason to love themselves. See, no matter what side of the coin you’re a part of, it seems to always come back to the self and how much our minds perceive its own worth.
Those who feel worthless are depressed and those who love themselves are either going to take the “lazy-mans” approach and be a narcissist, therefore rendering the need to actually go out and do things for others, or they’re going to be selfless and actually do things for self-validation.
Now, of course there are varying degrees to how narcissistic or selfless we all are. Life is too complicated to group individuals together so some of us may be a little narcissistic and others a little more selfless. Then, you have those extreme cases of complete narcissism and selflessness, which few can say they are.
Its sounds cold to say this but, we’re pretty much in everything for ourselves. Don’t believe me? Let me guess. You’re probably thinking, “Well, how do you explain the love that I have for my friends and family?” What I just explained? That is love, only the veil is uncovered; the emotion is gone. We experience love for others because other people give us value and if you’re a good person then you provide value to others.
The only reason why you love your friends and family is because in some way, both emotionally and physically, they give you something. Maybe, it’s a job or money. Maybe it’s good laughs and good company. Or maybe, it’s a little bit of both or something much more complicated. Whatever it is, it’s something and if they don’t have anything to give you, then it’s harder to love them, especially when they disagree with your world view.
But, we don’t like to think about it like this because we’d rather say we love others unconditionally. After all, it would fit well within our personal narratives that paint us as the “good guys”. But, those narratives are a façade and it has a tendency to muddle things up. It can actually make things unnecessarily dangerous. That’s why it’s so important to be more aware about what it is we’re really doing.
Ideally, If more people started doing this, then individually we’d grow much faster. We’d see more selfless acts because we’d be aware of the fact that doing selfless deeds would give us more in the long run, especially if everyone’s in the game.
It’s beautiful when you really stop to think that our emotional attachments to others is our way of naturally propagating a self-nourishing system that has allowed us to expand into vast and complex modern societies. It just took so long to get to this point and it may take even longer to get even further because we don’t quite understand what emotional attachment is.
And honestly, our understanding of the self and our attachments to others will probably continue to evolve over time but given what we now know about the brain, it seems to all fall back on ourselves. The need to love yourself through social validation pushes you to help others and be likeable. It’s almost like an inherent algorithm within the mind that when multiplied in billions of other minds it creates this massive force that has the power to actualize a positive or negative future for itself. That’s humanity in a nutshell.
So from a conscious standpoint, we’re still living in the “Wild-Wild West”. What I mean is that because we’re not aware of why we love and hate others, we’re not able to see the natural social laws that govern how we behave so we’re not really in control of ourselves. We see others based on the way we see ourselves and we act out from that. The more we hate ourselves, the more likely we are to lash out at others but the more we love ourselves the more likely we are to help others.
We just don’t see it that way because we want to believe that we love and hate for reasons other than ourselves. That’s exactly why we see the act of loving ourselves as something negative. It’s okay to love yourself just make sure you do it right. In other words, don’t convince yourself you’re awesome until you do something for others. Even if it’s the small things, at least it’s something. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future but, it’s not looking bright. But as long as we remind ourselves of this simple principle, then we’ll probably be okay...Probably…Right?
A narcissist will delude themselves into thinking they’re the greatest shit since sliced bread and only focus on themselves because it gives them a reason to love themselves. And a selfless individual will focus on others so that others will love them and thus, give them a reason to love themselves. See, no matter what side of the coin you’re a part of, it seems to always come back to the self and how much our minds perceive its own worth.
Those who feel worthless are depressed and those who love themselves are either going to take the “lazy-mans” approach and be a narcissist, therefore rendering the need to actually go out and do things for others, or they’re going to be selfless and actually do things for self-validation.
Now, of course there are varying degrees to how narcissistic or selfless we all are. Life is too complicated to group individuals together so some of us may be a little narcissistic and others a little more selfless. Then, you have those extreme cases of complete narcissism and selflessness, which few can say they are.
Its sounds cold to say this but, we’re pretty much in everything for ourselves. Don’t believe me? Let me guess. You’re probably thinking, “Well, how do you explain the love that I have for my friends and family?” What I just explained? That is love, only the veil is uncovered; the emotion is gone. We experience love for others because other people give us value and if you’re a good person then you provide value to others.
The only reason why you love your friends and family is because in some way, both emotionally and physically, they give you something. Maybe, it’s a job or money. Maybe it’s good laughs and good company. Or maybe, it’s a little bit of both or something much more complicated. Whatever it is, it’s something and if they don’t have anything to give you, then it’s harder to love them, especially when they disagree with your world view.
But, we don’t like to think about it like this because we’d rather say we love others unconditionally. After all, it would fit well within our personal narratives that paint us as the “good guys”. But, those narratives are a façade and it has a tendency to muddle things up. It can actually make things unnecessarily dangerous. That’s why it’s so important to be more aware about what it is we’re really doing.
Ideally, If more people started doing this, then individually we’d grow much faster. We’d see more selfless acts because we’d be aware of the fact that doing selfless deeds would give us more in the long run, especially if everyone’s in the game.
It’s beautiful when you really stop to think that our emotional attachments to others is our way of naturally propagating a self-nourishing system that has allowed us to expand into vast and complex modern societies. It just took so long to get to this point and it may take even longer to get even further because we don’t quite understand what emotional attachment is.
And honestly, our understanding of the self and our attachments to others will probably continue to evolve over time but given what we now know about the brain, it seems to all fall back on ourselves. The need to love yourself through social validation pushes you to help others and be likeable. It’s almost like an inherent algorithm within the mind that when multiplied in billions of other minds it creates this massive force that has the power to actualize a positive or negative future for itself. That’s humanity in a nutshell.
So from a conscious standpoint, we’re still living in the “Wild-Wild West”. What I mean is that because we’re not aware of why we love and hate others, we’re not able to see the natural social laws that govern how we behave so we’re not really in control of ourselves. We see others based on the way we see ourselves and we act out from that. The more we hate ourselves, the more likely we are to lash out at others but the more we love ourselves the more likely we are to help others.
We just don’t see it that way because we want to believe that we love and hate for reasons other than ourselves. That’s exactly why we see the act of loving ourselves as something negative. It’s okay to love yourself just make sure you do it right. In other words, don’t convince yourself you’re awesome until you do something for others. Even if it’s the small things, at least it’s something. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future but, it’s not looking bright. But as long as we remind ourselves of this simple principle, then we’ll probably be okay...Probably…Right?
