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Writing Theory of Shortfilms

M

mamoksche23

What ive gotten so far from about 9 books about screenwriting theory and many advise on the internet, im mostly going for the 3-act theory to make the film ,,reasonable,,. And currently im in competition with one of my scripts.

But I want to apply as a Director for a big film school in Berlin in about two months and they want a max 5minute short, which im having trouble putting all the story in just 5minutes (10-15okay,reasonable, 3 acts do it, but 1 act 1min 2 act 3 min 3act 1min seems too less to really get into a story)

What ive gotten so far as an explicit theory is this one which is not exactly what i looked for because my story has a twist which involves the story to be a dream/hope, but I can simply adapt it to the way i needed but still a little bit a short.

http://www.cgdirector.com/learn-how-successful-short-films-structure-their-story/

Im really ambitioned about learning but need real theory book or solid site to teach me how i put the story in simply 5minutes everthing besides that like dialogue writing 3-act logic eg. I mostly know, its just the short time that is giving me a pain in the ass.

The story so far is adapted to the 3 act theory and 5minutes

0.00-1.00 - Introduction of Story / Character

1.00-3.00 - Introduction of Scene - Plot Point 1

3.00-4.00 - Plot Point 2

4.00-5.00 Resolution of the Story

The Story

A hopeless cancer patient who is still virgin seeks god in a church and is destroyed by the fact hes dying so young and obviously as a virgin. He wants to smoke and there starts the conflict, next to him sits a girl, they to have a conversation about believe and god, and they two fall in love together bound by this special night / conversation, but cant be together in first place because he is an atheist and shes a noun. But is it really damned to end that quickly? - At the end still, the protagonist cant just ignore the fact that he has cancer even tough his toughts are on dying as a virgin. He wakes up in the Hospiz ( Word in germany were people mostly go when their destined to die like with cancer to get the last treatment and not die in a hospital but a nicer place) where he started to dress up in the beginning of the movie. It was all a dream, hes not having sex, the love cant heal him, the hope for god and of redemption inst answered. Despite the noun of his dreams, is now sitting in his room reading from the bible, but again it was all a dream.

Its called - Project Daydream , maybe a series I wanna start about daydreams, still not so sure


Hope you got something to polish up my storytelling regarding 5minute shorts

Best Wishes,

Lucas
 
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Hey man. You might want to reconsider your concept to stand out more. I've seen some application shorts in Germany and have a strong feeling that they're all like yours. I mean this about someone dying and then they wake up from a dream.

Shoot what you want to entertain people with and not what you think is expected of you.
 
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Filman said:
Hey man. You might want to reconsider your concept to stand out more. I've seen some application shorts in Germany and have a strong feeling that they're all like yours. I mean this about someone dying and then they wake up from a dream.

Shoot what you want to entertain people with and not what you think is expected of you.
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Its the exact oposite, the viewer doesnt know hes dying, its reveiled at the end, the whole plot about getting deflorated at a church is a dream.

And this is what I want to shot, but i need theory books about putting a story from a 15min movie with the same plot into a 5minute movie without losing some of the 3-act basis of itself
 
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Forget the theory, just write a short that keeps people glued to their seats, involved and interested in the storyline. Sounds easy - it's actually very difficult.

As Filman noted there are unfortunately a lot of shorts out there already with a somewhat similar storyline.

Wish 143 being one. It's storyline is very similar to yours. It actually won an Oscar for best short in 2010!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wish_143

Plot
David, a 15 year-old living in the Cancer ward of a children’s hospital, is asked by Dreamscape Charity representative for his biggest dream. David states that he would like to lose his virginity before he dies. The shocked representative attempts to talk David into meeting a celebrity, but David insists that losing his virginity is all he wants.

This statement creates a minor media splash, much to the consternation of a Priest in the hospital. The Priest tries to convince him to have sex for love, while David insists “I don’t have time for love!”

David meets with his ex-girlfriend Amy. During the visit Amy tells him that although she thinks of him often, she’s dating someone else. She leaves a letter with him and leaves. David stuffs the unread letter into his pocket and sneaks out of the hospital. He goes to a red light district and attempts to solicit a prostitute. The woman he approaches tells him to use the money to “buy something nice for your mother.” An upset David picks up bricks and starts throwing them at cars until he is arrested. When the priest picks him at the police station he asks him why he did it. David responds “I wanted to see how low I could go.” The priest finds the unopened letter from Amy and reads it. In it Amy states that, while she is flattered by the proposition of having David lose his virginity to her, she feels like she cannot do it. She continues by writing she hopes he gets better soon, and she’s sure that when he does she’ll find a nice girl who loves him. The Priest knows what Amy does not, the cancer is spreading and “getting better” is not a possibility.

Later that night the Priest wakes David up and takes him via motorcycle to see a prostitute. He tells her she is very nice and gently reminds him that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to. While inside David nervously talks to the girl. She asks him what he wants to do and he replies “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” The girl smiles and states she has never been asked that before. She takes off his shirt revealing several tubes and scars coming from his chest. David explains that various treatments that he’s had. She responds by showing him her own scar. She tells him he’s handsome and asks if anyone has told him that. David replies people tell him how sick he is. She touches his shoulder and asks him if anyone touches him. David replies he is only touched by doctors who are checking vital signs. David asks the girl to lie in bed and hold him “that’s all that I want.” David cries while she gently holds and comforts him.

The Dreamscape Charity representative returns and asks again if there are any wishes that David wants. A much more contented David says he doesn’t need anything. The representative smiles and tells a story about how the charity arranged for a kid to meet an entire sports team, but at the last minute the kid changed his mind and instead used the van to go on a fishing trip with his uncle. The representative wishes him luck and leaves. In the end, David realizes he has found the love of friendship with the Priest who has been helping him, and they spend a day together clay pigeon shooting.
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Sorry for the disheartening news. I have actually written 110 page feature screenplays only for a very similar screenplay to come out and be purchased whilst I am finishing mine! It happens, you have to let go and move on.
 
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IndiePaul said:
Forget the theory, just write a short that keeps people glued to their seats, involved and interested in the storyline. Sounds easy - it's actually very difficult.

As Filman noted there are unfortunately a lot of shorts out there already with a somewhat similar storyline.

Wish 143 being one. It's storyline is very similar to yours. It actually won an Oscar for best short in 2010!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wish_143



Sorry for the disheartening news. I have actually written 110 page feature screenplays only for a very similar screenplay to come out and be purchased whilst I am finishing mine! It happens, you have to let go and move on.
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Thanks for the showing off this, and it felt similiar in a kind a way, but after watching the movie, its definetly something else im planning, and the viewer will be definetly be thrilled about the twist ( wish shows a cancer patient - in my case u dont even know he has cancer, im telling a story, thats what im about, but i need theory about getting the story to an unfailable dramatic concept of storytelling, and thats the real profession in my eyes to write a screenplay.

As i said I need theory, pls stop posting about the plot and post something related to the actual title of my post,

Help appreciated,

Lucas
 
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PhantomScreenwriter said:
What stage of writing are you at - have you written a first draft yet?
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i got the first draft of the Story such as the plot Points the starting, and the exposing Point, but I Need a theory where I can add this up for a max.5 Minute short - not like for my ,,Shorts,, or Feature scripts where I can just write till the screenplay is finished and just regard a 1/4 - 2/4 - 1/4 divide of the 3 acts - it just doesnt fit in my mind giving the 1 act aprox. 1.30min in a short - so any theory besides my way to write the 5min script?

Tryd to adapt from other Shorts, but most were very poorly made when U just look at the Story and were mostly some sort of free time Project but nothing serious - also of Course some pro made like the ,,BMW?,, 5min Shorts, but too much Action for me, too less plot
 
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PhantomScreenwriter said:
Well if you're looking for an alternate theory to apply to creating a 5 minute short then you could try looking at a theory usually applied to a stage play, for example this one, which looks at Shakespeare's Five Act Structure:

http://goforthejuggler.hubpages.com/hub/Shakespeares-5-Act-Structure-Learn-It-Live-It-Love-It

Maybe you could apply that theory to your screenplay?
Click to expand...

Besides the fact that the 3 act theory simplifies the 5th act way - ( originated by it ).....
 
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