Before I’m going to write my series, I have to sharpen my skills. I wrote an example which you can critique.:
Int. living room – early morning
The living room seems ravaged and empty of people. Pizza boxes, soft drink cans, confetti and other typical party articles are lying around. Sometimes not very delicious.
JEFF (20), a dark-skinned man, sleeps in one corner. Alone. He wakes up, stands up, and looks what happen.
He sees the chaos. In a 180°-view from left to right.
Jeff’s mouth opens wide and his eyes are popping open, which are red with fatigue.
He goes to the sofa and brushes the boxes away. Jeff sits down. He is starting to think what could happen.
Int. living room – early morning
The living room seems ravaged and empty of people. Pizza boxes, soft drink cans, confetti and other typical party articles are lying around. Sometimes not very delicious.
JEFF (20), a dark-skinned man, sleeps in one corner. Alone. He wakes up, stands up, and looks what happen.
He sees the chaos. In a 180°-view from left to right.
Jeff’s mouth opens wide and his eyes are popping open, which are red with fatigue.
Jeff (V.O.)
WTF?! What did happen?
WTF?! What did happen?
He goes to the sofa and brushes the boxes away. Jeff sits down. He is starting to think what could happen.