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Short film draft - Something to Say

Semiazas

Semiazas

A short piece I wrote recently entitled Something to Say. It's about 4 pages in length, maybe a little less, and is a short press conference with a director (simply named Director) and is, I suppose, a commentary on the idea of film "saying something" and the burden and over-criticism that comes with that, showing the director perhaps as slightly long suffering.

It's the first thing I've written in ages, and I'm just looking for some feedback on it.

Thanks :)

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B7C7lVSD6TfLNVAwYWpLVzF1MjQ/edit
 
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Just read through it real quick so I'll share my thoughts. First thing I would say is that when I took a screenwriting class I was constantly being told to leave camera direction out. This looks more like a shooting script than a screenplay. Not sure if that's what you wanted but its what I saw. Also, on the first section I'm slightly confused as to if we are viewing from behind the curtain or in front of it. I assume behind because it's not till later on that the audience is described.
What are you trying to share here? It seems that the DIRECTOR does not know what to make of his films because they seem to be "lost in translation". Perhaps the director can show us what he wanted to communicate with his latest film without actually saying it. Flashback or cutscenes to the movie or the making of the movie or even the premiere of it could help illustrate this conflict of not being understood. My last comment would be who/what is Beckett? I was kind of confused by the last line which didn't actually seem like an ending.
Hopefully I wasn't too judgmental but I thought you at least deserve my honest opinion. I think you have something here but need to focus in on this conflict you are trying to illustrate. And then you probably want to find a way to resolve it for better or worse. Anyway hope this helps. I'd like to see the idea develop. :)
 
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