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The Survivor's Guide to Roman Fires

So, I'm working on my first big project, "The Survivor's Guide to Roman Fires," and I figure I should get some feedback on the script. You can get it at the project's page. It's about 30 pages. Keep in mind that there is a touch of sardonic humor in the basement scene toward the end, something that may not read obviously.
We shoot January 07, casting calls start next weekend. It's all very exciting.
Any comments and crits are greatly appreciated.
~ Paul
 
Heh, you would definitely be surprised to read the start and see the finish. There were, like, nine copies of the script, and once I filmed everything, I hacked out like half and shot some replacement scenes, and then I chopped half of that.
Tye's character is what took the biggest blow. He was originally infatuated with this girl who died in NYC, who you eventually find out was just a crush. Despite that, he was writing a film script where he saves her, and he was receding into his fantasy world. It was... sappy. I cut everything regarding her.
The main problem plaguing the script was that I gave my characters their objectives - to resist - and then didn't really present the obstacles, so you just had no idea what anybody was doing or why. I managed to cut it down to the scenes where somebody actively confronted them with an obstacle (you should go, you should go, etc), and that helped, but... well, my next project will be much better. That's the point, right? ;)
If you want to see some of the scripts, I wouldn't be averse. First draft? Last? With shots? Toward the end, I stopped actually changing the script and just writing new material in notepad.
I'll post those scripts in trade for some CnC on the finished product :)

~ Paul
 
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