Go Back   IndieTalk - Indie Film Forum > Making The Film > Screenwriting

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-29-2016, 01:30 PM   #1
Basic Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Hartlepool, UK
Posts: 2
Post Feedback - High Tech. 94pages

Hi, just finished a re-write in the past couple of days and was hoping for some feedback.

LOGLINE: "After beginning a relationship with woman, James a lazy robot becomes increasingly uncertain about their compatibility, and the nature of his existence."

Here's a link to the script: https://www.dropbox.com/s/4ny8p41ozh...0Copy.pdf?dl=0

If you hate the logline and that's stopping you reading the script, then that's still helpful feedback. Thanks!
DannyPinata is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Today   #1A
film guy
Basic Member
Posts: 17

Old 04-30-2016, 10:56 AM   #2
Basic - Premiere Expired
Murdock's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 3,513
I read the first couple pages. You have the same habit as I. You're editing and directing in your screen play. I do the same thing. If you are not making the film yourself, I would suggest changing this.
Murdock is offline   Reply With Quote


comedy, drama, feature, sci fi

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:35 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.