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Old 04-06-2015, 05:16 PM   #1
DigitalFX
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The Waiter (I Need Tips)

I've recently finished a short film for my college project and would like some opinions on what I could do better in terms of screenwriting, directing and also cinematography for when I produce my next short film.



Thanks,

Sam Taylor

Last edited by DigitalFX; 04-06-2015 at 05:57 PM.
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Old 04-06-2015, 07:37 PM   #2
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I just skimmed through and looked at the cinematography because I'm out in public and not really able to pay too closely attention, but I thought the cinematography was great. The editing was also really well done.

I thought the shutter speed looked a little low, that might've just been me

What camera did you use? Just wondering.

Overall great job.
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Old 04-06-2015, 11:53 PM   #3
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screenwriting:
Not sure what you write here. Maybe, write some story?
There's a lot you can do, but didn't.

directing:
Your chase early on, the actors looked like they were prancing along. It added no sense of danger. It happened multiple times.
In regards to the fight shots, the camera angels chosen make it quite difficult (as you probably found) to get the impact you're (I assume) hoping for. Some of the angles seemed find, but if you picked better angles, you'd be able to hide the stunt work better. There were many times where it looked like kids playing around.
Pacing was slow.

cinematography
Not enough coverage.
Too wide too often. Usually that's good, but in this case it showed off more of the problems that you'd better hide if you went closer in more often.
Most of the time warping was misplaced. Your best use was the pickup and body slam (whatever it was called) and the punch at 4:30. A lot of your time warping could have been used to speed up some of the slower parts.

Overall, it's not bad. Keep making stuff.

I assume it's a bunch of friends getting together to make an action video?
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Old 04-07-2015, 12:12 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetie View Post
I assume it's a bunch of friends getting together to make an action video?
Somehow you missed the opening remark of his post
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:23 AM   #5
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Quote:
Somehow you missed the opening remark of his post
Quote:
I've recently finished a short film for my college project
That one? It doesn't discount my question of getting a bunch of friends together to make an action video. Maybe, I should have been more specific as in, "as opposed to waiting to get the most experienced people you could find and shoot it as professionally as possible."
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Old 04-07-2015, 02:57 AM   #6
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All-Star Productions, we were filming from a Nikon D5200, the film was filmed over 2 days. The first day we filmed with the use of a shoulder rig and the second day was filmed using a steady cam.

Thank you Sweetie, I'm working on my directing and sceeenwriting and will talk to my cinematographer to see what othershots we are able to do, we're filming a pre-chase film to tell the story of why he is being hunted. (Would that be a good idea?)
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