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Nice work overall. I don't think there's much to criticize since you're not really trying to say much. I feel you communicated a mood. Hopeful, pleasant, building to something, joyful.
The images are pretty nice. Your first pan is really the only flagrant foul in the whole piece. It's too fast for the mood. And your camera can't handle the speed. I once heard the rule of thumb for panning (with no subject being followed) is 7 seconds. In other words, make sure it takes seven seconds for a piece of background to enter and exit frame during your pan. Otherwise you're too fast, both for the camera chip and for the audience's barf threshold.
The pattern of motion is a bit redundant when you track along a window frame the second time, but not a big deal.
Overall, you did a great job of marrying music to your cinematography and edits. The whole thing is quite good. Especially if used for opening credits or something. I think if you really want to grow as a filmmaker, though, you should start trying to tell a story with your camera. That's a thousand times more challenging than an abstract montage. But you're clearly ready for the next step.
good luck,
Shanked
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