Home
Your Ad Here

Go Back   IndieTalk - Indie Film Forum > Showcase > Screening Room > Narrative
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-01-2012, 10:19 AM   #1
jvfilms
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 37
Opinions on my first action/scifi film??

filmed all with canon t2i


Last edited by jvfilms; 01-02-2012 at 12:42 PM.
jvfilms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 11:54 AM   #2
IndieBudget
Basic Member
 
IndieBudget's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Spring / Houston Texas
Posts: 1,062
All in all. Well done ! Very creative, good camera moves.

The wind noise at first was very distracting, might have easily dubbed in the sound of the guy and left out the wind noise. The vid was devoid of story could have let us known more of who what why etc

Keep it up, a solid effort IMO !
IndieBudget is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 12:48 PM   #3
Aspiring Mogul
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North America
Posts: 703
Very good for a two-minute short - let's see you add on other scenes, and tell us why they're shooting at each other.

BTW, you're holding guns in the open - did you check with the film board about having to get permits? You don't want the local police to get the wrong impression.
Aspiring Mogul is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 12:46 PM   #4
jvfilms
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 37
One was a nerf and other was an airsoft and it was in a small park. We figured we wouldnt be seen.
jvfilms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2012, 03:40 AM   #5
Scoopicman
Premiere Member
 
Scoopicman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 1,282
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndieBudget View Post
All in all. Well done ! Very creative, good camera moves.

The wind noise at first was very distracting, might have easily dubbed in the sound of the guy and left out the wind noise. The vid was devoid of story could have let us known more of who what why etc

Keep it up, a solid effort IMO !
I totally agree with IndieBudget's comments. Definitely a nice job for a "test short." Thanks for reposting the link.
Scoopicman is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2012, 07:18 PM   #6
dandevans
Basic Member
 
dandevans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: highbrowpictures.co.uk
Posts: 82
To echo what others have said - really nice camera work and good editing, but two guys shooting at each other does not a story make (and has been seen many many times before). Also the muzzle flashes and hits looked a bit cheap. Really good as a first attempt though.

Curious to know how you were manipulating the camera - is it steadicam or totally handheld? I know nothing about these things really, so sorry if that should be obvious
dandevans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 12:59 PM   #7
LasVegasIRA
Basic Member
 
LasVegasIRA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Henderson, NV
Posts: 465
The guns looked like Nerf guns. I don't think he needed permits for them...

The film looked good. But I agree that it needed a story or else it comes across like a Transformers movie: all flash and no substance...

Really good for a first effort, though. My first outdoor short didn't turn out NEARLY as good aesthetically. It just looked like video:http://youtu.be/nZzwGCG1zxA

Last edited by LasVegasIRA; 01-01-2012 at 08:02 PM.
LasVegasIRA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 01:49 PM   #8
Dreadylocks
Basic - Premiere Expired
 
Dreadylocks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 4,073
Send a message via AIM to Dreadylocks Send a message via Skype™ to Dreadylocks
Good cuts, I could easily follow the action. It doesn't really have a story but as a practice piece it's good.

You didn't specifically ask for critique but I'm gonna go ahead and give some since this is in the screening room.

The cc was mostly consistent, but a couple shots weren't quite matched up. Overall I wasn't a fan of the low-contrast look, it made everything look a bit overexposed (and a few shots were definitely overexposed.) Maybe look into getting some ND filters?

The abrupt stopping of the music and cutting to a black screen didn't work for me. The music needed to go on after it goes black, but not the whole song, maybe just a diminished chord or have the last note ring out for a second or two. That will create some tension when you come back with that 'boom' sound.

Thankyou for not going nuts with the shallow depth of field that is getting all-too-common with folks who just got their first DSLR

Now get yourself a story and keep making stuff!
Dreadylocks is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 02:28 PM   #9
directorik
IndieTalk Filmmaking Guru
 
directorik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: hollywood
Posts: 6,648
Not bad at all. Reminds me of the dozen films I made when I was
starting. I didn’t have YouTube so I never showed them to anyone,
but I learned a lot.

My opinion on this movie is you show you have skill in editing and
camera set up and are learning how to use the standard EFX plug
ins. Nice set up and good action.

My opinion on your next few movies is to start thinking about your
audience. What do YOU like to see in a short film? I know I like a
bit of a story. Dialogue isn’t essential, but I usually respond
better to a story than simply good editing, EFX, SFX and camera
angles.
directorik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 06:14 PM   #10
knightly
IndieTalk Moderator
 
knightly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: MN, USA
Posts: 7,673
Blog Entries: 1
Send a message via AIM to knightly Send a message via Skype™ to knightly
In post, you should use your 'scopes for targeting your levels when you're color correcting. Most of the shots (specifically the ones with the camera pointed toward the sun) look washed out, which can be fixed by doing minimal color correcting to make sure the whites just touch white and the blacks just touch black.

To help avoid the washed out stuff, be REALLY careful when shooting toward a light. A lens hood / matte box / french flag to help the light not directly hit the glass of the lens would prevent some of that in those shots. Careful framing would help the others that the french flag couldn't prevent. The bright wash on many of those shots is the surface of the lens elements being illuminated by the sunlight directly hitting the glass. This is generally considered a bad thing and is usually easy to avoid once you know to look for it.

The pacing was good. It seemed like more of a fun test than a short with an obvious plot. Careful blending of the gunshot hits would let them blend more convincingly with the shots, if not darkening the shots slightly, then lightening the hits to match the raised blacks. If you're editing on a PC, don't trust your monitor to show you true black (not really on a mac either, but they tend to be closer out of the box). Always use your scopes to match exposures... specifically the blacks in the case of PCs. With an internet expectation for distribution, aim for 0% on the black (some broadcast uses 18IRE which isn't quite 0% -- and I get the impression some Windows based editing solutions target that by default).
__________________
YAFI Underground, please like and/or subscribe:
Website - Youtube - Facebook
knightly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 12:47 PM   #11
jvfilms
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by knightly View Post
In post, you should use your 'scopes for targeting your levels when you're color correcting. Most of the shots (specifically the ones with the camera pointed toward the sun) look washed out, which can be fixed by doing minimal color correcting to make sure the whites just touch white and the blacks just touch black.

To help avoid the washed out stuff, be REALLY careful when shooting toward a light. A lens hood / matte box / french flag to help the light not directly hit the glass of the lens would prevent some of that in those shots. Careful framing would help the others that the french flag couldn't prevent. The bright wash on many of those shots is the surface of the lens elements being illuminated by the sunlight directly hitting the glass. This is generally considered a bad thing and is usually easy to avoid once you know to look for it.

The pacing was good. It seemed like more of a fun test than a short with an obvious plot. Careful blending of the gunshot hits would let them blend more convincingly with the shots, if not darkening the shots slightly, then lightening the hits to match the raised blacks. If you're editing on a PC, don't trust your monitor to show you true black (not really on a mac either, but they tend to be closer out of the box). Always use your scopes to match exposures... specifically the blacks in the case of PCs. With an internet expectation for distribution, aim for 0% on the black (some broadcast uses 18IRE which isn't quite 0% -- and I get the impression some Windows based editing solutions target that by default).







yeah i definitely need a mattebox, which i should be getting soon
jvfilms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 10:00 PM   #12
Scoopicman
Premiere Member
 
Scoopicman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 1,282
I didn't get a chance to see this. Why was the video removed?
Scoopicman is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 12:41 PM   #13
jvfilms
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 37
im sorry everybody i reuploaded a new video with contrast because it was way too washed out for me. thanks for your nice comments!
jvfilms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 12:50 PM   #14
Murdock
Basic - Premiere Expired
 
Murdock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 3,412
Blog Entries: 9
Looks pretty good.
Murdock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 02:20 PM   #15
rayw
Basic Member
 
rayw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: About a thousand years from now
Posts: 4,706
On scenes without any dialog just delete all the actual audio and strip in fabricated audio from other sources.
"Real" audio is often either distracting, irrelevant, or poor. Don't be a slave to it.
"Bogus" audio gives the audience the sounds they think they should expect.


0% clouds in the sky days also give that high contrast either/or washed out overlit+dark shadows shots that are just hard to look at.
Wait for the thinly overcast days to knock down a lot of that harsh natural lighting contrast.

Weather.com is your friend: http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/USOH0212 (Pick your own city, of course).
My camera doesn't care for temps under 40°, likely your T2i doesn't either.
http://www.weather.com/weather/monthly/USOH0212
Looks like you'll be waiting for another month or some freaky weather.

Notice in films where the outdoor lighting produces no/little shadows. Thems overcast days.
Something like this:


Last edited by rayw; 01-04-2012 at 07:34 PM.
rayw is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:45 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

©2003-2013 IndieTalk